I loved the smell of the laundry room. Located on the bottom floor of our college dorm it has that warm fresh smell that contrasts sharply with the wintery chill outside. It also gives me a chance to meet other students since I keep my head crammed in a book up in the dorm most of the time.
Oh, it's not because I'm a bookworm. Being on the swim team, I try to pack in more courses during the off season so I can have a light load during swim meets. And the chill in the air signals it's off season.
"Hi Steve. Where's Todd?"
It was Julie from Chemistry class.
"Why does everyone ask about my roommate?"
"Oh, quit being paranoid. You're gorgeous too. But you're always studying." Julie started pulling clothes from a dryer and quickly had her basket full and was out the door before I had nerve enough to continue the conversation.
I needed to get out of the dorm more. Ok, Todd was a good looking guy. He ran track and lifted weights. He was distracting even for a guy, I guess. I was considered a stud until I started rooming with him in fact. If Julie was asking about him, he must be doing something right.
No sooner than my mind drifted from Julie's ass bending over the dryer to Todd's muscular physique then who would come in with a load of laundry?
"Hi Steve. What's up?" Todd said dumping his basket of clothes in a machine next to mine.
"Julie from my Chemistry class just asked about you." I said.
"Really? Did you tell her I'd be down here soon?"
"Naw. I told her not to waste her time. You were gay."
"Asshole."
"Just trying to help you out Todd. She ain't the girl for you."
"You're still an asshole. Gay, huh?"
"Hey, I've seen the magazines you subscribe to."
"It's naked women."
"Well, I saw men and women. To me it looks bi-sexual at best."
"Why don't you keep out of my stuff?" Todd closed the lid, shoved some quarters in and strode out of the laundry room.
I think I must have hit a nerve.
Before long my laundry was done but since I was feeling guilty of maybe hurting Todd's feelings, I waited on his laundry to finish and took it up with my load to the dorm room. Todd was reading.
"Hey, Todd I finished you're laundry."
"Thanks." He said without looking up.
I started sorting the clothes. The silence was deafening.
"Look, Todd. I didn't mean to suggest you were gay. In fact, I didn't say anything to Julie. I was just joking."
"But you've been through my stuff. My magazines."
"Yea. By accident. I really didn't pay them any attention." I lied. The images were clearly bi-sexual. Women with men. Women with women. Men with men. I found them...well, exciting.
"Well, some of them are real personal Steve. That's why they are in plain packages."
"Hey, Todd. What guy hasn't fantasized about watching two women and if guys were honest; who hasn't wondered what making out with another guy was like. So there. It doesn't matter to me what you like, ok?"
"I like girls."
"I wasn't saying you didn't."
Todd didn't say anything for a few moments. I just kept sorting socks. Todd was running his fingers through his hair.
"I've fantasized about being with men is all. I've not been with a guy, ok." He finally said.
We both let the silence hang in the room for a moment. I sorted some shirts. Todd started looking down.
"Todd, I liked them." I confessed.
"Liked what?" He looked up.
"Your magazines. I'm just like every other guy...you know. You wonder, but you don't tell anyone...you know."
"Know what?" he said.
"What you said. About fantasizing about...well, making out with a guy."
I have no idea what happened at that moment. But the air in the dorm room changed. It was like blunt honest confessions between two roommates suddenly made the room charged and warm like the air in the laundry room.
"What have you thought about?" Todd asked.
"What do you mean?" I said. My mind was wondering if he was just making conversation, was actually curious what I thought or was he testing some uncharted waters.
"Well, since we're opening up to each other. What have you wanted to do with another guy?" Todd said.
"Oh, I don't know. I've looked at guys that were ripped like you and I..."
"No. Seriously. Did you want to suck their dicks? Have them suck you? Feel you? What?" Todd said. The words hung uncomfortably in the air for a moment.
"Well, since you asked. If I was going to do it. I'd just go all the way and do everything. 'Cause no telling if I'd ever get the nerve to do it more than once, you know."
"You'd fuck a guy or let him fuck you?"
I didn't say anything for a moment. The air had that warm smell. Todd's voice was hypnotic as I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. But instinctively I knew my answer could be turning point either away or toward our apparent mutual curiosity.
"Yea. If it were the right guy. I wouldn't just fuck any guy, of course."
Todd ran his fingers through his hair again. He always did that when he was thinking or nervous. I folded another shirt. Suddenly I realized my hands were shaking. My mind started recalling the time I sneaked a peek at Todd's magazines. I didn't tell him, but I jacked off after looking at them.
I then remembered the times I had admired guys as much as I did girls; the girls with their smooth skin and the guys with firm muscles. Maybe I was bi-sexual myself or something.
Todd was looking at his book but I don't think he was reading. He acted like he wanted to say something to break the silence but never did. If I had to guess, he was still struggling with me now knowing he liked both guys and girls. I decided to break the silence. Maybe secretly I didn't want the conversation to end.
"Ok Todd. I'm sorry I looked at your stuff. And I won't go out joking about you being gay. Heck, now you know I think the same way you do. I'll admit it. I even jacked off to your magazine, alright?"
"Thanks, Steve. I appreciate you being honest. It's not easy being attracted to both guys and girls."
"Maybe that's why I'm on the swim team. I get nervous talking to girls and I've not gotten the nerve up to make a move on a guy but at least I get to watch girls in the laundry room and see half naked guys in the pool. How about you?"
"Me? I date girls. I just look at guys. You know girls think we're both hot being jocks and all. I hear them talk."
"Would you fuck a guy? I mean, if you had the chance." I said as I folded the last shirt.
"Well, I've..."
"Come on Todd. You asked me and I confessed."
"Well yea. Of course, I'd fuck the right guy. Not just any guy."
My hands were trembling more. I folded the shirt and put it away. My heart pounded.
"Well since we're discussing the topic. Would I be what you considered the right guy?" I said. I placed the clothes basket beside my bed. I'd fantasized about girls and guys in this dorm room and the pool while Todd was out partying and secretly having his fantasies fulfilled through his bi-sexual magazines. And I'd fucked a couple girls.
But, maybe we both were too shy about our true sexual feelings. Neither of us had been this honest before. My hands trembled because Todd would determine if the conversation would end here.