Even though we never talked about it afterwards, looking back, I kind of think James knew what I had in mind when I called him and asked if he'd like a few drinks. When he asked what the occasion was, I had replied to loosen some inhibitions, maybe. I knew he was gay, and I think he had a pretty good idea I was interested, at least curious. Although we'd never watched any of his films before, he had caught me looking through his gay porn videos once, and another time I asked him where he got them. He knew I was interested too, I think, because I would make comments about how nice this guy looked or about whether or not some actor or other had a big dick, and that was why all the actresses loved him. I'm a nervous and shy man by nature, and at the bar it took a few drinks for me to settle down and get used to the crowd. But it was about that time that James decided he didn't want to hang out at the bar anymore. Perhaps he could see my inhibitions were fading. He said we could have a few more drinks over at his place if I liked.
His apartment always smelled of vanilla candles. When we got there he lit a few . . . I don't remember how many, but enough to give the room a sensual, romantic glow as we had a glass of white wine. Still, I felt unable to tell him what I wanted; the wine still hadn't seemed to do its job quite yet. Still, I was hinting around—putting my hand in my pocket to adjust my scrotum and telling him it was never quite comfortable, placing my hand on his knee what he made a funny remark about something. After we finished two glasses of wine, James took the bottle and said, "I think we've had enough." He picked up the glasses and told me he'd be right back. I feared that maybe I offended him, that perhaps he thought I was mocking his sexual persuasion. And he was taking a long time just to take the glasses back into the kitchen. While he was gone I started thinking of how to apologize to him, that my intentions were totally different, that I didn't mean to offend him, and maybe, just maybe, if I told him why I was really there, then we could do something together, that something I wanted but was too afraid to say outright.
When James returned, though, I saw that he had read my intentions correctly from the beginning. He came back dressed in only a purple silk robe, tied together loosely at his waist. I couldn't see too much because of the candlelight, so I couldn't tell if he was erect or not yet. But I was getting there as soon as I saw him. I could only sit there and wait for what he might say next. I didn't wait long.
"You think you're sly, Chris?" he asked me. "Trying to entice me to make it with you. If you would have come right out and said what you wanted, it's hard to tell what might have happened." He smiled. "Oh, we would have done it," he continued, "but now, now it has to be done my way." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but the edge in his voice, the command almost, turned me on, made me willing to do as he asked. Still, I couldn't form any words to reply to him. I only sat there, waiting for what seemed like ages for what would come next. Despite the wine we had had, I was again beginning to tremble a little. An excited, needful tremble shook through my limbs as I sat there waiting. "Well?" James asked.
"Yes?" I replied, still trying to make out what was happening behind the belt of his robe.
