First Blush

Greg *

I pushed Eli down on the bed with a hard shove and fell on top of him. He laughed. It was a great, joyous sound.

"You have no idea how hot you are," I said.

"I'm not hot," he said.

"The fact that you don't know it, just makes you even hotter," I said. I nibbled little bites up his neck. "And don't contradict me again. You're the fucking hottest thing on the planet. The only thing hotter than looking at you, and hearing you laugh, and showering with you, is knowing I get to be inside you."

Eli arched up into me. I nestled my erection into his hip. He had come in the shower but I hadn't, and I wanted him. I was torn between wanting to rush and wanting to definitely not rush.

"So," I said teasingly. "You want me to lead...totally."

He flushed deeply from his head to toes; it was the darkest grey I'd seen him go so far, his skin probably looked purple.

"Oh, you heard that."

"Oh, yeah," I growled. "I heard that."

His skin actually got darker.

I laughed. "It's okay, baby." I kissed down his nose, his cheeks, his jaw, the places that had just changed color. They were warm. "I like it."

Eli closed his eyes and looked like he was concentrating on his breathing, deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth.

"As a matter of fact," I said and I ground my cock against his, which was already semi-hard again, "I really like it."

He smiled up at me; it was beatific, positively angelic.

"I want to do what you like," he said softly.

Inwardly I groaned. My cock twitched against him.

"But, I don't know what that is?"

The way he made it a question had the show me, tell me, please, part laced right into it.

I'm not someone who usually dates younger guys, but something about his innocence and openness was a huge turn on.

"I mean, do you like..." He put his hand out, palm down, then slid it around until it was palm up. The way he made the motion I thought he was caressing something at first, it took me a second to figure out what he was getting at.

I shook my head. "I'm a total top," I said. I could see from his facial expression that he hadn't heard that saying before. I watched as he digested the meaning and then his face relaxed. He smiled.

"I've bottomed before, it's just not my thing," I said. I paused. "I mean, it feels really good."

His face screwed up.

"But it doesn't feel right."

Eli's face relaxed again. I liked that he was so easy to read. No guessing with this one.

I kissed down his chest until I came to his nipples and sucked on one for a bit. I kissed down his body, enjoying how incredibly smooth his fresh-washed skin was. There was just something about him.

"I want you so much, Eli," I said. My voice came out low and husky and he arched up into me again. "But..."

He stared up at me, so completely open and vulnerable to my lead. Something in my heart broke.

"But I want to do everything right. I want to talk to you, listen to you, know you."

"Right now?" he said.

"Well," I said. "Maybe not right now, maybe in a minute." I wanted to kiss the top of his head and work down, not missing anywhere. I got distracted kissing his ear, then his jaw.

I forced myself to go slowly. I didn't want Eli to think that I just wanted his body. Although, boy did I want it. I wanted him to know it was him, all of him, that had captured my interest.

I rubbed my nose near his crotch. "I want to teach you to do so many, dirty, filthy, things. Really nasty," I said. I looked up at him and smiled.

He smiled back at me. Then he apparently thought of something that bothered him and his face went quickly from panic to disgust. I was trying to talk dirty to him, not freak him out.

I scooted up next to him. He started choking. Whatever he had thought of was making him gag! I slid one arm behind his shoulders. Worry spiked through me. What the hell could bother him so much? Last night he offered to blow me, so the idea of having my cock in his mouth couldn't be what had him gagging so badly. What was it?

"Eli," I said firmly. "Eli!" Shit, shit, shit. "What are you thinking about?"

He shook his head, embarrassed I think, to say whatever had him all caught up.

"Breathe, baby, breathe." I forced myself to breathe very slowly, hoping he'd mimic my pattern. I gathered him in close and held his chin. "We are not, EVER, going to do anything that makes you react like that."

He made one last retching sound and calmed down. I'd have to be really careful with him. "Baby," I said. I pulled him close to me and stroked the side that wasn't up against me. "Sssh... I'm a perv, but I'm not that much of a perv."

His coloring went back to normal. I kissed his cheek and stroked down his chest. "But you've got me really curious now, baby, what were you thinking about?"

A fresh stain appeared on his cheeks. He shook his head.

Damn, he's cute when he's embarrassed. "Let me think," I said. What would have him gagging? I could only think of one thing.

"Snowballing?"

He started choking again.

"Sshh, sshh, shhh." A fierce desire to protect him rose up in me. I straddled him and grabbed his face in my palms. "Listen to me, Eli. We will never, ever do anything you don't want to do. Never."

He calmed a little, but not enough.

"That's not my thing, doesn't turn me on. I don't want to see you drink your own cum."

He relaxed.

I do however want to see you drink mine,

I thought. But it wasn't the moment for more dirty talk.

I got off him and gathered him to my side again. "Trust me, I can think of a thousand fantasies that are super hot." I started caressing him and pulled him up against me even harder. "Fuck. The reality is super hot. I don't need anything that doesn't put you over the moon to get my rocks off."

I took his hand and put it on my dick, which was still pretty hard.

"You do that Eli, you." I took his hand off my cock and he whimpered.

"I am going to find out what turns you on and you are going to find out what turns me on. We're not going to do anything we don't both like. It seems like we're in a pretty good synch so far."

He nodded.

I started bring my hand from his side to his crotch, making big circles over his hip, balls, cock, abdomen, and back to his side. He thrust his hips up.

Seeing him react, it was all right there, all his emotions so close to the surface.

"Baby," I whispered. "I would rip apart anyone who ever threatened you. Growl and take down anyone who wanted to hurt you. And I certainly would never put you in a position you where you might feel bad, or uncomfortable, and I put you there myself. Never."

I didn't know where the words were coming from. He looked up at me like I was a hero. Fuck. But I guess that was okay because right now I felt like I would step in front of a speeding bullet for him.

"Baby, please," I whispered. I kissed his ear. I just didn't know what else to say to him to let him know how great he was. "You don't know," I said. "I don't have words for it. How I want to make everything special for you."

There was no way to describe how big he made me feel. I scooted down and kissed the back of one of his knees. I kissed my way up the back of his thighs. I opened his legs wider, and continued kissing up, but when he realized where I was heading he backed away from me shaking his head.

"Gross," he said.

I wrapped a firm arm around his lower stomach and dragged him back to me. "Eli..." I said firmly and I let the just the hint of a reprimand skim through my tone. "Trust me. You have to trust me." I yanked him back down into the middle of the bed and opened his legs further.

I could feel his nervousness and I could tell he didn't want me to tongue his hole. "Eli, look at me," I said very firmly. I let my fingers trace where I was going to go, close, but not inside. "Okay?"

He nodded. My entire chest got hot, maybe because I was flooded with emotion by how much he trusted me when he was so vulnerable like this. I kissed the taught back of his thigh and up to where it met the curve of his ass. I let my tongue reach and just barely trace the delicate skin near where outside changed to inside, almost but not quite reaching the sunburst of lines where I'd enter him. And I licked so carefully, teasing, staying clearly on the side of safety.

Eli arched up off the bed. Suddenly something changed for me. It wasn't about my pleasure, or our pleasure. It was about him. And letting him know we were connected. But more than that. It was about pouring everything I could into all these touches to let him know I would do anything I could to lead him into the most wonderful romance. I scooted up beside him and dragged a finger down his sternum and then circled his heart.

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Baby," was all I could say. I tried to infuse something into my voice, all the tenderness and want and expansion I felt. But it was impossible. I clasped one of his hands to mine and held it over my heart.

"Yeah, I want to bury myself in you, over and over," I whispered. "But it's not a good idea, not so soon after last night."

Eli made a face like he was going to say he could take it whether it made him sore or not. I shook my head.

"There will be plenty of time for that, sweetheart. Plenty. Now, I just want to connect with you." I squeezed his hand tighter.

He smiled at me, bright as the sun.

"You turn me into a mush, Eli," I said. "I'm not usually like this." I bit his earlobe. "I'm a big, tough, strong guy," I said. I licked the shell of his outer ear. "All this sappy stuff, well..."

I looked at him and he was grinning like an idiot. I nuzzled my face into his neck. I had to switch the hand that was holding his into my other hand so I could have my right hand free to stroke him.

"Spend the day with me?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I'm usually pretty private, but you just strip my defenses raw," I said.

He shrugged.

"Look at me, E."

He did.

We stayed like that, staring intently at each other, holding our clasped hands over his heart, with me stroking his side, and his belly, and near his cock, caressing him, ever so slowly.

Finally I said, "Close your eyes," and he did. I just watched him, the most beautiful tableau I've ever seen. I reached down and grabbed that hard column, barely moving at first, just letting him feel.

I increased my pace steadily, watching every little change. How his mouth opened slightly, and his breathing got shorter and louder. How his eyes scrunched tight as he tried to fight it. I locked his torso tight into mine as he arched up and bit his lip. Watched the glorious, riotous bloom of pleasure on his face the second before he exploded all over his stomach and my hand.

Eli opened his eyes and looked at me like I was some type of God. For as long as I live, I'll never forget it.

I got a cloth to clean him up, and gathered him to me. I just held him, cuddling him and holding him as he drifted off. I had a fierce desire to show him parts of my life, everything from what my classes were like to joining in the racket ball game I had scheduled for later this afternoon.

I wondered what he thought about assisting teaching at the U. Did he even live nearby? We had so much to talk about.

He was completely limp in my arms, and his breathing lengthened.

One step at a time Keemosabe.

Maybe it had been a mistake, jumping into bed with him so soon. I wanted to woo him. Maybe I could start over in a way, and woo him fresh, every day.

I'd have to think of a plan. Because I wanted everything about his introduction into... whatever this was, to be as perfect as I could make it.

I wouldn't fail.

Maybe every date, every sexcapade I'd had until this moment was practice for this.

Who knows?

I was content to watch him. Eventually my eyelids got heavy and I shifted him slightly so his head was resting on my chest. I breathed in the fresh scent of his hair.

I couldn't remember ever being so content.

I'd take him out on a real date tonight if he was free.

Hopefully this was a start of something really good.

*

I cancelled my racket ball game. I offered that Eli could come with, but he'd never played before, and three people on one court with a newbie could be a little much.

"The mathematical probability that I'd get hit or trip over my own feet or both is pretty good," Eli said. "Close to one hundred percent."

Part of me wanted to spend all day in bed with him, but I didn't want to overload him, or wear him out.

We went for a walk instead.

We ended up at a street fair that was going on at a park. I'm not a big public displays of affection guy, and being with Eli didn't change that, but I found I often put my hand on his lower back to steer him through the crowd, or held hands while we looked at something.

I bought him a corn dog on a stick, and he ate it with no thought at all to how absolutely sexy he looked doing it. He was just pure pleasure. I also bought him a large salted pretzel, which he fed me a bite of, and I lingered just a second to long, licking his fingers.

I wanted to buy him something, but I didn't really see anything appropriate. There were a lot of big paintings, and pottery, and silver jewelry, but nothing that really seemed like it was right for him. Yet, I wanted to commemorate the day.

Finally we came to a booth that had these small prints laminated on key chains. I found one I liked. It had multiple shades, going from light to dark. I picked it up.

"What color is it?" I whispered to Eli.

He looked at it and then at me. "It's a series of reds. Carroty-red, orangey, pinkish, warm red, burgundy."

"So it's like you then," I said. "A perfect combination of amazing colors."

He blushed.

"We'll take it," I said to the clerk.

I gave it to Eli, and brushed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I want you to have something from this weekend."

He blushed again, and I could see what he was thinking.

I laughed. "Something else from this weekend."

Eli took the key chain and immediately put his keys on it. "I love it," he said.

"I'm glad."

I took his hand in mine and we walked the rest of the way up one side of the street and back the other. The sun was shining, the sound of kids laughing percolated through the adult conversations, and the smells of food from the street vendors as we passed by all added to the perfection of the day.

We found a place in the park to sit down, and sat on the grass.

"Can I ask you something?" Eli asked.

"Sure," I said.

"Ah..."

I just stared at him. "What?"

"Um, what's you ethnicity?"

I laughed. "You're wondering about my tan," I said.

"Yeah," he said, and looked embarrassed. He blushed, but just very slightly.

"I mean, you don't have to tell me."

"No, I don't mind," I said. "You can ask me anything, Eli. Really. I'm mostly French and English, and I'm part Native American. So this is as light as I get. I'll get even darker in the summer."

"I like it," he whispered.

"I'm glad. My maternal grandmother is three-quarters Cherokee, and she grew up on a reservation. I spent all my summers there as a kid, with my sister and my cousins, learning the traditions."

"Neat," Eli said.

I laughed at that, because it seemed like such a childish word.

"Is your grandmother still alive?"

"Yeah, she lives with my parents now. I see them a lot."

Eli nodded.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What about me? Oh. Um, let's see. I'm Irish and Polish. My family has been in the United States for over a century. And I'm Jewish."

"Really?"

"A hundred percent."

I didn't really have anything to say to that.

"My family's not very religious though. We celebrate all the major holidays, but that's about it."

"Did you have a..." it took me a second to think of the right word, "Bar mitzvah?"

"Yeah," he said. "I was so nervous I broke out in hives, it was really embarrassing. But I'm glad I did it."

We were quiet for a few minutes after that.

"When did you know you were gay?" Eli asked me.

I shrugged. "I guess I was about twelve or thirteen and I sort of suspected."

"Me too," he said.

I lay back on the grass and pulled Eli next to me.

"I should have courted you more," I said. "Maybe not slept with you on the first date, not even a date."

"It was perfect," Eli said.

"I can buy you a nice dinner tonight," I said.

"Whatever," Eli said. "I'd love a nice dinner. I'd also be just as happy with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as long as it's with you."

He started turning color and slapped his hands over his face.

"Damn fair coloring," he said.

"I like it," I said. "I'll never have to guess with you."

"Well, that's great for you. Me, I don't get to hide or win at poker."

I laughed.

"Come on, Eli, let's walk back."

He told me stories about his brothers as we walked back.

Once we got home, I looked on the internet, and found a fancy Italian restaurant that I thought would make for a good date night. We got a romantic table in the back, and I made sure Eli ate until he was full, which was a lot of food, for a somewhat skinny guy, he could put it away.

When we were done, it was time to drive him home. Part of me didn't want him to leave.

"Where do you live, kiddo?"

"In Statesburg," he said.

Yikes.

"I can take a bus, if it's too far."

"No, no, don't be silly, baby. I'll drive you. It's late. I don't mind." And I didn't. I opened the car door for him. Statesburg was about an hour and a half away, the way I drove, when there was no traffic, which there wasn't.

He was easy to talk to. We talked math theory, and physics, TV shows, and movies.

"Hey, I have a question," he said.

"What?"

"What's the deal with Pluto being downgraded from a planet?"

I laughed. "I had nothing to do with that," I said.

"I mean, I liked Pluto."

"Yeah, baby," I said. "Me too."

Then we were at his place. It was a small three-story building, in what looked like a so-so neighborhood.

"I live with two roommates," he said.

I nodded.

"I need your number, baby," I said.

We both took out our phones. I called his, then we were set. He started to open his door, but I stopped him.

"I can't see you this week," I said. "This is the last week of classes before final exams. I have extra office hours, teacher assistant evaluations to complete, and papers to grade."

"Okay," he said, and for once I couldn't read him.

"But I'd really like to see you again. Next weekend?"

He smiled. Big, bright, and beautiful.

"I'd like that."

I reached over and kissed him. He tasted wonderful, like the tiramisu he had for desert, and under that, strong, willing male.

"Baby," I said, softly pulling his forehead to mine.

"I need a nickname for you," he whispered.

"I need a good one for you, Blushes. All the ones I have sound too mushy, and I'm not a mushy guy."

"So you say," he said. He smiled. He nipped at my lower lip, and then he was gone.

I waited until he was in his building, and then I drove away. I pulled over just a few blocks later.

I put my head against the steering wheel. I had only known him the weekend, but he definitely got under my skin.

"I don't think I've ever liked someone so much," I said out loud to myself. That scared me a little. I banged my head against the steering wheel once, twice. "I shouldn't be this possessive. I just met him." I stopped talking out loud but I knew what I was thinking, at some point, he would probably need to date someone else to get some more experience. But I felt like if any one else touched him, I'd beat them to a pulp.

"Get a grip," I told myself.

I put the car in gear and drove. After a few minutes I had a silly grin on my face. It had been a great day.

*

The week went by unbearably slow. It seemed like all my students had fried their brains. The University had some computer breakdown in payroll and everyone's checks were delayed. The library had a small fire, and the water damage from the sprinklers caused major problems.