First

This is a true story to the best of my recollection. Be gentle, this too is my first time at writing a story. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and guilty.

*****

I had made it to 48 without a mid-life crisis event. No mistress, sports car, or job self-destruction. But there was a dawning realization that in all likelihood I was half done. There were regrets although by every stretch I had been very successful in life up to this point. And for some reason I focused my regrets on my sex life and what I hadn't done.

I was a 22 year old virgin when I met my wife and she was the only woman I had ever slept with. But had a secret too that I had never told anyone. When I was a shy, naive, and innocent 18 year old I had been borderline molested by a male friend of my grandmothers.

I'm not sure if that's what triggered what transpired but it certainly factored in where my head was.

Thirty Years Earlier

I was staying with her that summer and one of her friends hung around and drank beer on her porch during that summer. George would stay a month at a time in his trailer parked at her place and then go back and captain a fishing boat for a while. I was lonely and knew almost nobody in the small town. They'd let me drink beer and he had a bunch of penthouses and hustlers that I'd read and whack off to.

One day she was busy making something in her tiny house that was pretty much a bedroom, sitting area, and kitchen and I was dead tired as teenagers often are. My bed was her couch and with all the noise I kept on getting woken up. George finally said "Go crash in the trailer. It's a lot quieter there" so I did.

It was kind of hot out on the metal trailer but I pulled off my shirt, socks and shoes and tried to sleep as best I could. I dozed in that way you do when it's just too hot but didn't hear George enter the trailer. My first realization was when I felt him grab my package and unbutton my jeans. He tugged them down in one motion underwear and all.

Now at this stage in my life I thing I was perpetually hard. Often so much it hurt and wouldn't go down. And I had a huge erection at that moment and I'm sure it looked even bigger on my skinny 150 pound frame. It slapped my stomach when the pants came off and George reached down and stroked it with a big hand. My hips came off the bed with the sensation and he used the opportunity to kneel down at the edge of the low bed and take me all the way into his mouth.

He sucked at it powerfully and I was both groggy from waking up but my whole being was focused on the guy sucking my dick.

Now I was so naive that I knew vaguely of blowjobs that girls gave but I had no clue about gay sex and what was even done. I guess I knew they sucked each other but much more than that was a mystery. The fact I had a man actually sucking on me sort of blew my mind and I felt guilt but my legs were also twisting in a rictus against the bottom the bed as the new sensations hit.

I might have lasted a couple minutes tops and arched and shot into his mouth. George didn't spit or anything so he must have just swallowed what was my large teenage load. He nudged me over and lay next to me after taking off his pants.

"Touch it" he said and grabbed my left hand and put it on him. It was warm and soft but it was the first cock I had ever touched at that point. "Shake it."

I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I didn't jerk off that way but apparently it worked for him. I shook him until my hand grew tired and he finally came and used a t-shirt to wipe off with. He dressed and I dressed and nothing more was said.

I was in shock at that point I think. That an overwhelming guilt. The next day I had a spot on my cock that was almost raw because he had sucked so hard and it hurt when it touched my clothes. I didn't know what to do and just tried to hide it and walk normally.

I'm not sure what he said to my grandmother who still seems like she was unaware to his nature but I found myself staying in his trailer that next night. I knew what was coming but quickly faked going to sleep on the separate bed.

I laid on my side, facing the couch cushion figuring I could protect my sore cock and give him little opportunity but I know now that he was excited at his new plaything. Pretending to sleep I heard him move over towards me and then he attempted to roll me on my back.

The idea I had at the time was that by going rigid and not turning over he couldn't touch my sore cock. I was horribly naive of course and didn't realize that sodomy was another option if I would roll over. I rolled on my belly and went rigid and I'm pretty sure by then he knew I wasn't asleep. He tried a few times to roll me over before grabbing the waistband and pulling the underwear I slept in over my bare bubble butt.

I had no clue at the time but I had one of those very round asses that combined with my slim but tall frame probably drove gay guys wild. Perky, round, with very little fat but a naturally curved shape. I resisted turning over again and after a couple of tries the couch sagged with his weight as he straddle my thighs and I could feel his hard, warm member rest in the crack of my ass.

He rubbed it up and down the crease several times before getting up and then coming back. There was a cool, slippery squirt of hand lotion in my crack and he rubbed it in with his cock. Thinking back he was probably tempted to sodomize me but was afraid I'd make noise and fight it. I hadn't said no but hadn't cooperated entirely and being outed for that in a small town at that time might have at minimum gotten a beating from some of the local lumberjacks or police. Being gay in that setting simply wasn't acceptable.

His finger slipped down up and down and felt my anus. It rubbed in the lotion and he tested the entrance. The initial penetration made me try to squirm away but he was sitting on my legs. That continued for several minutes but I think the uncertainty saved my virginity that day.

More lube got rubbed into my crack and he rubbed his cock up and down between my cheeks rapidly. The creased bubble half contained him and he picked up speed until there was suddenly a gasp and wet liquid spattering from anus to lower back as he came. A t-shirt wiped it from my body and he left me alone, underwear still pulled down to mid-thigh and slick residue still in my crease. I pulled them up ashamedly and went to sleep for real then.

That was our last physical contact. I was guilty and ashamed and he was worried I'm sure. He bought me little gifts that I accepted but wouldn't let him be alone with me. He was worried I'd tell I'm sure but one time he whispered to me that next I should suck him like he had sucked me. That it was only fair. I didn't say anything and the lack of acquiescence probably scared him off. A week later I went home.

George tried one more time to get me alone a couple of years later but my visit was brief and the opportunity never arose. About five years later he was dead from cancer and I figured I'd let it die with him.

Thirty Years Later

So here I was a 48 and I was thinking about my lack of experiences. What if I had let George continue? Sucking his cock and letting him put it up my ass. God help me I regretted the missed opportunity. This was pre-AIDS and the idea of having a man sodomize and fill up my rectum with his semen was somehow appealing now. And it wasn't something I would let anyone do now because of fear of diseases that had since spread.

Being used and dominated was so foreign to my current role of husband, father, and business leader. Where everyone looked to me to lead and the constant pressure to do so sometimes felt overwhelming. Yet that's what I wanted and it became an obsession. I'd fall asleep every night with the idea of being bent over and violated thoroughly. The cum leaking out of my dilated anus and sliding down my ball sack afterwards. Sucking that cock hard again and letting it spit cum into my mouth and on my face like a porn star. Like a whore covered in shame and guilt.

So I made secret accounts on a tablet. One that was non obvious and password protected. GPS and any other identifying items except IP address were turned off. I used my photography skills to take better than average pictures and tried to write a profile that would attract guys. I wanted them to lust after me, try to seduce me, and in the end take me. I wanted to be slut for it.

Most of them didn't get it but a few did. The verbal jousting and understanding seduction went a long ways. I also had problems getting away for a couple of hours as well as having the time to clean out before hand. That winnowed the field more because most wanted to get their rocks off now.

Then Steve started saying the right things. A divorced father of one in his early fifties with his own apartment. He lived 10 minutes away but we didn't run in any of the same circles thankfully. I had a Sunday morning free and set it up.

I was nervous as hell but cleaned out in silence while my wife slept. Followed it up by shooting two plungers of lube up my hole. I wanted to be lubed up like crazy because I wasn't sure I could take a cock and my own was fat enough that I doubted I could take anything similar without a lot of work. I wasn't sure how I compared either and his pictures didn't give me a lot of clue. I knew I was slightly about average at 6.5 inches long but it's 2.25 inches in diameter. The fattest dildo I had ever managed was 1.5 wide and that was a struggle requiring much time and lube.

As I drove to his apartment I could feel the wetness between my ass cheeks. I was really doing it. I was going to let a stranger fuck me and use me. I pulled the hoodie up as I walked the halls. No reason to let any cameras get a good look.

There was the number. I knocked twice, worried that the noise at that early hour would be too loud. There was a pause and I head the deadbolt move. It cracked. "Steve" I said. He opened the door and let me inside closing it.

He wasn't handsome. Sort of thick and hairy with a porn star mustache and a slightly feminine voice. I really didn't care. My thirst for cock didn't care about aesthetics like it did women. Frankly I wouldn't turn down anybody who looked clean. I just didn't care.

With the door closed he pulled me in for a kiss. Which was sort of strange for me but I really wanted it to be good for him so I went along. We made out for a minute and then I wanted to see what he had. See another man's cock that had me hard in my pants.

It was almost an out of body experience. I found myself on my knees pulling an absolute stranger's cock from his underwear. Something I didn't have any frame of reference on because porn stars are usually not average sized. It was rock hard, hot but thinner than my own cock which was probably a good thing.

Now as a drunken teenager stripped down in front of friends I heard one of them describe my own as a "horse cock." Fat at about 2 and a quarter inches in diameter, I wouldn't have wanted to try my own cock up my ass the first time as too thick. Lengthwise it was almost seven inches but was a solid mass of meat and apparently beautiful to other guys who were into that.

I gave a little thanks at that moment and had that strangers cock in my mouth with no hesitation. I was here to debauch myself and at that moment I was a no doubt cocksucker. A cocksucker I thought and tried to bury my nose in his curly pubes. I couldn't do it with my small mouth.

I can't say I was good at it either. A small mouth and strong gag reflex meant I bobbed there sucking for only a couple of minutes. He tugged me up and led me to his bedroom where he began taking off my clothes. I soon stood there just black boxer briefs that he tugged over my bobbing erection and then grasped it and pulled me onto the bed.

Sitting back on the bed and leaning back against the wall he said "beautiful cock" and pulled me into his mouth. He was good and the pent up cum started to move faster than I expected and wanted. I pulled out worrying that cumming might cause me to lose the will to go through with it. I had been waiting so long to be used and didn't want to chicken out. There was a small spurt but he pooh poohed it and had me lay face down on his bed.

I absolutely give him credit for knowing how to loosen up a virgin ass. The Jergens came out and he massaged my back and ass for several minutes before concentrating on my ass. His hands split my cheeks and I looked back to see his face embed itself in my ass and his wet tongue rimmed my hole. I groaned and he continued a little while before pulling away and starting a finger in my hole.

It plunged and massaged with great ease and relaxed quickly. A second finger followed and they smoothly slid in and out through the band of muscle. Like nothing I've felt before and since. Then he pulled them out. I was apparently ready.

He rolled me on my side, knees up and ass towards the edge of the be and climbed off the bed himself. Grabbing my hips he tugged me to the very edge and pulled my cheek wide. I could feel him pressing down there and his hips pushed forward. He had loosened me enough that he just punched in. It didn't hurt except for a twinge but I realized he didn't have a condom on.

"Dude, put on a condom." I was pretty emphatic at he pulled out and sheathed up. He poured lotion on his stiff cock and moved behind me again. With little effort he was back in me and soon sawing back in forth.

Now the side position I've since found is wonderful for taking a big cock deep but as receiver there's not much you can respond with. He continued to fuck me and I could feel him slipping through my ring but not much else.

"Can we change to on my back" I asked and he pulled out and slipped my ankles up past his shoulders. He grabbed my hips and slid me forward with ease and positioned himself. Back in he went using my hips as handles and there was a rhythmic slapping as his thighs tapped my ass. I clenched and raised my hips to meet him. I wanted to be a good fuck and have him cum in my body. I no longer had any virginity left. My mouth and ass had both had cocks in them now and bringing him off with my ass was the next goal.

I reached up and rubbed his nipples. It was something his profile said he liked and he increased the pace. Unfortunately the lube wasn't keeping up and I asked him to put more on. "Almost there" he said and knowing the state I've been in before I let him continue which was a mistake. There were continued powerful strokes until he grunted and jammed in as far as he could go and came in me. With little fanfare he pulled out and tossed away the condom before climbing back on the bed.

I wasn't sure what I wanted at that point. It seemed to fast and the camera was unused. He hadn't come in my mouth or on my face. I hadn't been sodomized doggy style.

"So that was your first time?" I nodded and said yes. He took a finger and ran it up my Nordic jaw line. "You're so fucking hot" and I felt a surge of pride. Somebody lusted after me. They were happy to have the opportunity to fuck me. I felt guilty but I wanted him to do it again. To ride me from behind like a bitch to be mounted and taken.

"Do you think you can go again?" I was in the moment and didn't know when I would get the guts to do it or even want to.

"Give me a few minutes and lets see about getting you off." He had me kneel by his head and sucked my hardening cock back in his mouth. He also took a big handful of lotion and rubbed it into my ass while fingerfucking me.

Again he had me close with that deep sucking mouth but I wanted the rest of the list and pulled out. I could see his cock was hard again and I climbed down and pulled the small camera out that I had brought. "I want a picture of your cock in my mouth and another with it up my ass. I showed him the button to press and crawled down between his legs.

I was looking up, tongue extended when I heard the shutter and tried to suck him deeper and better but he was rock hard so I wanted the main event. I knelt on hands and knees and reached back to spread my cheeks. "Fuck my ass like a bitch and take pictures of your cock in my ass."

He scrambled up behind me and pushed my legs wider to lower my ass. I looked back between my legs and could see him lubing up again. I could feel the tip enter and there were shutter sounds so I pushed my ass back until there was full contact.

I groaned as this position hit some new places and moaned "fuck me like your bitch" as I grabbed my cock and started to jerk off. He used the position to grab tightly and slam fuck. The sound was louder than before because I could freely move and he had leverage. I had let my ass go by now and was face and shoulders down in his bed. There was a wave of euphoria on my part. I was really getting fucked and he was apparently into it.

I could tell he was getting close again by the speed of the thrusts. "Finish in my mouth" I begged. That was the last bucket-item. Swallowing cum and a load on my face. It took several minutes and then he tugged off the condom while moving to my front.

I inhaled him and could feel the tension rising. A hand up under his balls egging him on to finish my story. He shook and the first spurt came in before I sucked hard and pulled him out. The second hit my nose and the third and fourth hit my lips and chin. In it the whole way I saw it dribble onto the head of his cock and used my tongue to suck it off. I was a cum eating, butt-fucked cocksucker. There was no doubt and nothing I hadn't done.

I swallowed although it still coated my mouth. Like nothing else I had ever smelled or tasted. "Take more pictures" I rasped. I wanted to capture my depravity and he indulged me. Partway in my mouth with cum droplets sticking on my unshaven face. Tongue cleaning him and licking the spots I could reach.

I was spent and took a shower before exiting and going home. There was a liquid soreness sitting in the car and I felt it every so often the rest of the day. I was really sore the next day. My hole a little raw from all the friction of cocks going out along with surprisingly my lips. My jaw also ached from having my mouth open.

I got an opportunity to look at the pictures and there were some good ones I hid deeply in my computer before formatting the SD card. It was porn star stuff with my face and body. My anus clung to his cock and pulled out with it. My face covered with white streaks of come and my mouth around his cock. A no doubt record of the receptivity of my orifices.

Steve tried to contact me more and asked about being a boyfriend despite my statement of things being NSA. I simply didn't have time and was a little pissed off that he hadn't used a condom until I forced the issue although he knew it was a requirement. It made me nervous too and when I asked him he avoided the question by saying he was always healthy. I got tested and lived in fear for a week until everything came up clean but resolved to not see him again.

And that satisfied me for years and the urges went away. Until now.

My regular hetero sex life has dropped off and now I'm wondering what it would be like to take a bigger cock or maybe two at once. Act like a slut and get fucked again. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. There's a guy in a nearby city who is saying the right things and has a nicely proportioned cock that looks like it's perfect to get reamed with. And the dreams of being spread over a pillow, ass up with that hard meat sliding through my anus and fill my rectum have started up again. This time I want to learn how to suck cock too and he says he'll teach me. Learn how to coax a big load from his balls to land on my tongue and paint my face with it. But that will be another story.