Fighting the Inevitable

Fighting the Inevitable

I stood on the boardwalk, arms resting on the railing, looking out at the ocean as waves broke gently on the sand of the beach. People lounged on blankets, talking, and listening to music, while children played at the water's edge. Older kids with skimboards dashed across the inches-deep water and those with boogie-boards rode the larger of the small waves like amateur surfers. There was a lot of activity and happiness on the beach, par for the course on a warm August afternoon.

This was my favorite place for reflection, hoping that the combination of observing the happiness of others and the memories of how I used to feel when I was enjoying days like these with friends now long gone, would spark something inside me to offset the emptiness that was a constant companion. My eyes saw things from a vantage point that existed forty years ago as if they balanced on the edge of a mirror. In front of me, life occurred and was viewed by a 25-year-old man, and behind me, life confirmed that a 65-year-old man was staring sullenly at the passage of time. As hard as I tried to will the past back into focus, I ultimately realized the folly of my endeavors and went home slightly more depressed than when I left. The fact that I continued to come to the beach and walk the boardwalk, breathing the fresh salt air, and feeling the sun on my skin, proved to me that all was not lost.

"Penny for your thoughts," came a pleasant voice from close by. I turned and saw a handsome young-ish man, probably 35 or so, wearing shorts, a tee shirt, a baseball cap, and sunglasses, smiling at me.

"Excuse me," I replied, "are you talking to me?"

"'Taxi Driver'" came the response with a laugh. "Don't tell me you're Robert De Niro?"

Laughing, I said, "Sorry, no, but I will give you my autograph anyway if you like," continuing the joke.

"I apologize for invading your space, but I have stood here for about 5 minutes and you haven't moved so I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I know that it's none of my business so feel free to tell me to fuck off," he said.

"I tend to get wrapped up in my thoughts when I'm here, and the sound of the waves coupled with the scent of the sea, is hypnotic," I replied.

"I know how you feel," he said, "the relaxation that I feel after time at the beach is second to none. My name is James by the way."

"Nice to meet you, James," I replied, "I'm Harvey."

So started a pleasant conversation on a sunny summer afternoon. We chatted for about a half-hour before deciding to walk the boardwalk together for some exercise and then enjoy a cold beer in an open bar facing the sea. He was a nice fellow, and I honestly enjoyed our time together. He drove away the dark clouds and the laughter was medicinal. I felt rejuvenated.

"James, it was great meeting you and I appreciate you taking the time to make a nice afternoon even better," I said as I pushed my chair back and dug in my pocket for money for the beer.

"I enjoyed it as well and I'm amazed at how quickly the time passed. I'll take a bit of a risk here and admit that I was looking for the right time to ask if you might like to have dinner with me sometime but obviously, I waited too long," he replied seeing that I was getting ready to leave. I was caught off guard by his comment and found myself stunned and at a loss for words that he interpreted as a negative response. "Sorry for being so forward but I didn't want you to leave without me asking the question. I have many regrets because I have been too shy to follow my feelings and instincts, and I didn't want to add to the list today."

Seeing the look on his face brought me back to the present. "No, I should apologize for giving you the impression that I would refuse your invitation. As someone probably twice your age, I am surprised that you would want my company over dinner rather than someone your age and I didn't know how to react," I said. "Why don't we try this again and let me subtract from my list of regrets?"

"Okay," he replied quietly.

"It was nice meeting you and I enjoyed spending an impromptu afternoon with you, but it ended too quickly," I said, "Would you be interested in having dinner together sometime this week?"

"Yes, I would like that very much," he replied without hesitation.

"Your reactions are so much faster than mine," I said.

James had already taken out a card from his wallet and handed it to me. "I look forward to your call," he said with a smile, "Thank you."

As I walked to my car I felt a lightness that I had not felt in quite a while. I was smart enough to understand that this feeling would not be long-lasting but savvy enough to enjoy the moment. I went to the beach to improve my mood and reflect on life and today was a day where I accomplished both of my goals and I was pleased by the way things turned out.

The days ticked by, and I was reluctant to call James for some unknown reason but maybe the reason was not unknown to my subconscious. I was apprehensive about making the call and feared rejection by someone who thought better of the situation in the light of a new day. It has been many years since I even considered a date and teenage fears creep into older brains just as quickly as they do to younger ones. Eventually, with the aid of a glass of vodka and ice, I was able to summon the courage to make the call on Wednesday evening.

After the perfunctory greetings and chit-chat, James addressed the elephant in the room. "I was beginning to think that you forgot about me or lost my card. Is there a problem?"

"No, not at all, I think I was just a bit nervous and hesitated. If I can be candid, I felt that you might have reconsidered your acceptance of a dinner invitation, and I didn't want to be rejected. As ridiculous as it may sound, I feel like a high school kid preparing to ask someone for a date while simultaneously dreading the possible answer," I said.

After a short delay, James replied, "Well, at least I don't feel alone in my feelings anymore. I thought that you had second thoughts and that I would never hear from you. I felt like someone waiting for an invitation to the prom that never comes."

"I'm trying to remember what high school kids do when they get to this point," I said lightheartedly.

"If they are reasonably intelligent I think that they would accept that their feelings are normal for 17-year-olds, admit that they were being silly, and move on," came the response with a bit of a laugh.

We had a pleasant conversation and agreed to meet on Friday evening at a local burger place that James suggested. It wasn't a fancy restaurant but not too shabby either, a place with some life and good food about midway between our respective homes. The die had been cast and nervous or not I was going on a date.

On Friday, we met as planned and enjoyed a pleasant dinner. Seeing James again stirred something in me, and I admitted to myself what I already knew. I wanted something more but exactly what that something was I didn't know. It was 'something' other than having a beer and a burger with someone after walking on the beach. I felt a little too old to simply hold hands while watching the sunset but too young to be dozing off in an armchair every evening after watching the news. James must have read my mind since he asked for the check when we finished our drinks after dinner and told me that he would like us to go back to his place to get comfortable and have a nightcap if I was up for that. I quickly agreed and my answer was met with a big smile from James who added that he would drive there and take me back to the restaurant to get my car later. My gut left me a little apprehensive with this suggestion but not uncomfortable enough to say "no".

James lived in a small house in an upscale neighborhood about ten minutes from the restaurant. He kept it neat and clean, and the place showed that it was inhabited by a bachelor who liked things a certain way. After agreeing to a glass of bourbon I walked around to look at various photos and artwork before settling myself on the couch while James made the drinks. Handing me a rocks glass half filled with bourbon and one crystal clear ice cube, James said that he was going to get comfortable and asked if I would like a robe since that is what he preferred when at home. I hesitated to answer for a moment but sensing where this might be heading, I agreed and James left to get changed while I sipped my drink.

When James returned about five minutes later, he was wearing a nice knee-length, dark blue satin robe that looked like it was custom-tailored just for him. In his hand was a yellow satin robe with white cuffs on 3/4 sleeves, that I later found came mid-way on my thighs. James said that he thought it would fit me perfectly and then reached for his glass while studying the look on my face which was one of disbelief. I thanked him but trying to make light of the situation, said that it was not my style and placed it next to me on the couch.

"Come on Harvey, it's only us. It's no big deal and it's all I have at the moment," he said with a smile.

I smiled back and responded, "Perhaps I should forego the robe and remain as I am for now."

"Please Harvey, I insist. I feel out of place if you remain in your street clothes," came the reply. "I sense that you're intrigued by the prospect and remember what you said about regrets. Let's not add this moment to both of our lists."

I thought for a moment and realized that he made a good point. Inwardly I felt excited by the thought of wearing a feminine satin robe in the presence of another man and did not want to regret my decision not to do so tomorrow. Ultimately, I took another long sip of my bourbon, picked up the robe, and walked to the bathroom to get out of my street clothes. James settled into his chair and watched me leave without a word.

I removed my polo shirt and jeans and tried on the robe. James was right, it fit me beautifully. The satin felt smooth and cool against my skin, the length was just right and it was low-cut on my chest. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw, inwardly hoping that James would like it as well. Before leaving the bathroom to rejoin James, I slipped off my underwear to make sure that I would not inadvertently give the impression that I was prudish and not interested in him.

As I walked into the living room, James looked at me and said, "My, don't you look lovely. Do you like it?"

"Yes, I do, and you were right about the size. It fits me nicely and I like the feel of the satin against my skin," I replied while blushing slightly as I felt the arousal in my loins which did not go unnoticed.

"Come closer please, I want to check something," commented James.

As I walked to his chair, James reached out to take hold of my stiffening dick that had now started poking out of the robe. "Yes, really lovely," he said admiringly before stroking it and leaning forward to kiss the head of my cock, eventually taking it into his mouth.

Moaning, I took his head in my hands and drew him in towards me, pushing my dick farther into his mouth in the process. I closed my eyes and fucked his mouth, letting all the sensations flow throughout my body. James took what was offered to him without hesitation or comment other than the sucking and slurping sounds that kept the tempo of my thrusting. I was in ecstasy, lost in a world of sensation pulsing through my loins as I slowly built to a crescendo in his warm, waiting mouth.

Right before I reached my climax, James pulled back leaving me teetering on the edge. I was gasping and wanted nothing more than to grab his head again, force myself into his hot, wet mouth and hold my cock inside until the entirety of my load of semen erupted down his throat. I believe James knew what I was thinking since he quickly stood up and said in a firm, quiet voice, "Not so fast, we have a long night ahead of us and I don't want you to cum too soon."

James took a long sip of his drink as he walked around the room, stopping behind his chair and leaning on his forearms to stare at me. As he watched me, I concentrated on my breathing, trying to breathe normally and slow my rapid heart rate, aware of how he was staring at my rock-hard erection and grinning. I wondered what he was imagining while I stood there with aching loins and a brain that could only think about getting my cock back in his mouth to finish what he started. "Harvey, perhaps it's time to move to the bedroom where we can relax," he said.

"Of course, that would be nice," I replied without hesitation.

"I thought you would like that," he said. "It will feel good to stretch out on the bed and get close. You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would. I want to feel you next to me, more than close, inside me," I replied before realizing what I said. The words that I was thinking had suddenly come out of my mouth but they didn't sound like me. They were foreign, distant.

James held up his glass towards me and said, "Here's to us," and took a long sip nearly emptying the glass. I took my glass and finished the amber liquid in one gulp before putting it on the coffee table to start towards the bedroom. "Let me refill the glasses while you make yourself comfortable on the bed and I will join you in a minute." Without a second thought, I did as I was told.

Once in the bedroom, I removed the robe and laid down on the bed. The sheets were soft and cool, and the bed felt like a cloud. My skin tingled as the nerves in my skin became electric and my hands clutched at the sheets as I could almost imagine penetration and the ultimate orgasm. I was brought back to reality by the sound of James' voice, "Not sleeping I hope," he said with a lilt in his voice as he handed me the glass.

"That would be impossible right now," I replied, "I feel ready to explode I'm so horny."

"Good, I'm glad," James responded while I took a long sip of my drink and James did the same before walking to a chair where he deposited his robe. As he turned to face me, I got to see him naked for the first time. His skin was smooth, muscles were nicely formed with good definition, and a beautiful cock, shaved smooth, and standing erect. It was at least 8 inches long but not overly thick, with a glistening head and taut skin. I inadvertently licked my lips as I looked at it and James laughed, saying, "You like what you see I gather?"

"Yes, definitely," I replied, "May I kiss it?"

"Certainly," he said. James got on the bed, lying on his back with his head on the pillow. He looked me in the eye and whispered, "You appear to know what you want so why not take it? See how far down your throat it will go. If you don't get it all down just tell me, and I will push it the rest of the way. Eventually, you will have it all and my balls will rest on your chin," he said matter-of-factly.

"Of course," I replied without emotion as I leaned over to lick the precum from the tip of his dick and begin the process of sliding up and down on it, letting it go deeper into my mouth with each thrust.

As I held my breath, I forced his stiff cock into my throat blocking the airway but after several attempts, I still had not succeeded in getting its entirety into me. When I came up for air one time I whispered to James, "You're going to have to push a little, I don't think that I can do this on my own."

"It will be my pleasure to watch your face as I choke you with my cock," he growled.

I didn't know what to make of the sudden change of tone but I also wanted his dick inside me so I ignored the words. James got up from the bed and using my arms to aid him, spun me around so that I was perpendicular to the bed with my head hanging over the edge. "Relax your throat and take a breath," he commanded, and I did as instructed.

With one firm but gentle thrust, James pushed his erect penis down into my throat until his balls rested on my nose. He took a few strokes and then withdrew his dick to let me catch my breath, saying, "You're doing fine, bitch, but you're not done yet. Take a breath and hold it." He then proceeded to take about twelve, long, slow thrusts stopping only when I grabbed his arms to let him know that I was choking. Once I caught my breath, James told me to take another breath and proceeded to fuck my throat again stopping only when I grabbed his wrists.

As I lay on the bed gasping for air, James looked at me and commented, "Enough foreplay, right?" He then moved me around to get my head next to the pillow and rolled me over onto my stomach. My muscles felt rubbery and I was powerless to resist as James applied lube to my ass and the along the length of his cock. "Okay, sissy bitch, let's see how well you fuck!" he hissed as he rested the head of his cock against my anus and began to push.

The pain of entry was not as bad as what I imagined for a dick like his and before long the steady thrusting became quite pleasurable. I felt his dick go quite deep and the pressure against my insides was substantial due to the length of his cock. I closed my eyes and entered a hypnotic state, rocked by the rhythm and repetition of the thrusts. I felt a warm pleasure caused by his dick rubbing against my prostate and the stretching of my anus became pleasurable as well.

As the tempo of his thrusts increased, I began to feel a level of excitement and arousal that was foreign to me. I could feel an orgasm beginning to build and I rode a wave of heightened sensation as James began breathing heavier and pushing deeper into me. I could not hold back any longer and in a moment of ecstasy, I surrendered myself to an orgasm that nearly made me lose consciousness. James cried out as he came and drove his erect penis deep into me to fill my insides with his semen.

We lay together for a short time before I drifted off to sleep. When I awoke it was nearly 6:00 am and I was quite sore with a bad headache. James was asleep next to me and looked very calm and relaxed. He stirred when I got up to use the bathroom and was fully awake when I returned. "Hey, finally awake?" he said.

"Yeah, I must have fallen asleep at some point. I don't remember much after coming in here and having another drink with you. What happened?" I said.

"The second drink after a big dinner and wine must have gotten to you," he said. "But it didn't stop you from being a wanton slut," he laughed.

"All I know is that I have a headache and feel quite sore," I replied.

"You're not as young as you used to be, Harvey. It happens," he said with a smile. "Go take a shower, you'll feel better, and I'll make some coffee."

"Yeah, sounds good," I said as I got up to go for the shower to clear my head.

The shower helped me freshen up, but the headache was tough and never went away. After drying off and getting dressed, I went to the kitchen for a coffee and James was particularly pleasant as he offered me something for my headache. "Let me take a shower and get some clothes on and maybe we can head to the beach for a while," James said.

I took a few sips of hot coffee before responding, "I think I'll take a raincheck today. I'll call an Uber to go pick up my car and call you later to set something up."

"You sure? I don't mind taking you to your car if that's what you want," he replied.

"Thanks, but I don't want to trouble you. I'll take a taxi, no problem," I said before putting my cup on the counter. "Take care of yourself, James, I'll call you."

"Okay," he said. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I responded while heading for the door, "just want to get home and clear my head."

As I waited for the taxi I replayed the events from last night that I could remember, and some were nice while others not so much. I concluded that times have changed and as much as I wanted to be a part of the present, part of me will always remain in the past when life was simpler. I knew that I would not call James again and if I went to the beach I would enjoy the solitude and the smell of the salt air alone.