(Content Warning: the end of this chapter mentions self-harm scars)
"Barney? Barn, slow down for a sec'-
Hey-"
The mug was pried from his hands, and Savannah continued making the latte, having to wipe caramel off from the sides. "Why don't you stay up at the register, alright? Let me worry about making the orders. Would that work better for you?"
Barnaby swallowed a lump in his throat and smoothed out imaginary wrinkles in his apron.
He
was the one that had to call her in at the start of the unexpected rush. It shouldn't have been up to her to make accommodations for him.
Barnaby, however, was selfish, and the idea alone lifted one of many weights from his shoulders. When his quaff-haired coworker glanced back for an answer, he nodded, skirting around her to place himself at the register. "Your latte is on the way, ma'am," he said automatically. "Next?"
There were more latte orders, hot chocolates, and coffees, and though shaken, Barnaby was managing. A few "
thank you for your patience
" were thrown in for courtesy, but nobody complained.
While one customer collected their change, he turned to find his coworker moving back and forth. "How're you doing, Savannah?"
"I'm fine, Barn." Savannah bumped her hip into his as she brushed by. "Don't worry about me. Just keep 'em comin'."
Barnaby smiled and straightened his shoulders, ready for the next person in line. "Hello! What can I get for you?"
Grey eyes lifted from a phone to lock with hazel.
Barnaby's heart skipped a beat, and Gil smirked. He didn't know whether he wanted to run into his arms or runaway.
"Busy night?" the raven asked, scanning the menu overhead.
"Yeah, uhm-" Barnaby cleared his throat. There was a pen on his keyboard that was slightly off center. He corrected it. "I think there was- a band or something that played nearby? Were you there?"
Gil shook his head, and his attention was back on the blond. "No. Came to see you."
Barnaby bit the inside of his cheek and tugged idly on his ear. He glanced around to make sure Savannah was out of earshot, and when he spoke, it was only loud enough for Gil to hear, "Sorry, I'm- working?" Not sorry for making money, but sorry for not being more Easily Accessible? Yeah, that felt right.
"
Pff,
don't be. I'm the one with too much time to kill." Barnaby thought he caught a wink before the man looked over his shoulder. Two more people in line, but he didn't seem the least bit bothered by it. "Can you do a black coffee?"
"Black coffee?" Barnaby grabbed his pen to write the order on a ticket for Savannah. "Coming rightβ" He paused in speech and in writing in a single stroke of brilliance. "Actuallyβ" He crumpled the note, making Gil raise a brow at him. "If you're willing to wait, I can bring it to you myself?"
Barnaby braced himself against the man's gaze as it swept him up and down. A hint of a chuckle left his curled lips, and Gil said, "Fine by me." He produced a debit card, but the second Barnaby spotted it, his hand flew to the card reader to cover it. He winced apologetically without Gil having to move a muscle.
"
Go
. Sit," the blond urged, "I've got it."
Despite Gil's skeptical stare, the card was returned to his wallet. Something about his smirk seemed that much more mischievous as he turned to walk away. "Weirdo."
The next person in line came forward.
Barnaby hurriedly got through the next few orders, scribbled them sloppily onto tickets and passed them off to Savannah. He'd hoped he didn't come off as rude, but then again, he couldn't say he cared about their opinions as much anymore.
Not when the man who called him 'pet' studied him from a table for two.
Soon, the counter was clear in front of him, and Barnaby looked out at couples and groups of friends. They filled nearly every seat in the house, bantering, and by all accounts, having a good time.
"We did it," Savannah said, clapping his shoulder. It didn't matter that her hand was dainty and well-manicured - Barnaby flinched anyway.
"Thanks to you." He patted her back weakly, gathering his nerves so he could ask, "Would you mind if I took my break now?"
"Go for it!" Savannah was swift to put herself in front of him, fulfilling the task of adding change to the register.
Barnaby thanked her again, since it didn't actually feel deserved, and slipped away to fill a mug with black coffee. All the while, he could swear he sensed Gil's glare lingering on his back. Maybe, specifically, his backside.
His cheeks flushed, and he resisted the urge to wear his apron reversed.
He ended up carrying two mugs to Gil's table. One belonging to the other, and his, filled with peppermint tea. "I have 15 minutes." Setting Gil's coffee in front of him, Barnaby teetered with his own mug. "Thought you might like if I joined you?"
"You thought right." Gil gestured eagerly to the chair across from him, and Barnaby, very cautious not to spill his drink, sat down. The raven went on, "So this is okay?"
Barnaby's eyes widened slightly, and he hesitated sipping his tea. "Is what okay?"
"Me showing up here." Elbows on the table, Gil leaned forward. "No boundaries crossed?"
"
No
." Barnaby shifted to the edge of his seat to be sure he was heard. To be sure that Gil would believe him. "No, it's-" He hunched his shoulders, speaking the rest to the table, "As long as you know I can't...do what we did the other night here."
Gil chuckled, and Barnaby caught a glimpse of his coffee being lifted. "Obviously. I'm not gonna make you roll over in front of everyone."
Barnaby's face grew warm at the memory.
"You're different up there, aren't you?" Confused by the question, he looked to Gil for clarification. The man continued, "Not as shy as you are around me. You didn't stutter once. Not that I heard."
Laughter squeezed out of Barnaby, surprised, though it probably sounded like he was wheezing. "Well, that's-" He slicked his hair back with a sweaty palm. So much for Not Stuttering. "That's rehearsed, kind of. You say the same thing so many times, it just becomes- natural."
Gil nodded, but judging by his crooked smile, he wasn't exactly convinced. That was- fine, Barnaby guessed. Maybe Gil believing he could be "different" wasn't all that bad. Unless, of course, that idea secretly offended him. Would he think it meant he was uncomfortable around him?
"It's not a bad thing," Barnaby blurted. Gil blinked, unsuspecting. The boy abandoned his mug to flick and pick at his fingernails. "That I'm- the way that I am around you. You just- have that effect on me. And I don't mind it. I like it."
He heard Gil give a faint snort, echoed by the clink of his cup against the table. "Okay," he said, sounding sympathetic, "It was supposed to be a compliment. I'm flattered, but you really don't need to explain yourself to me."
Barnaby's face grew hot with embarrassment. He forced out another, weaker laugh. "If I don't explain myself, you'll never understand a damn thing I'm trying to say."
"Bullshit." When Barnaby looked up, Gil was rolling his eyes, his lips having curled with the word. "You-" He pointed right at the blond, then traced a line that covered the room. "Make more sense to me than any other chucklefuck in this joint."
"Oh, that's-
very
eloquent," Barnaby said, not knowing how else to respond.
"I'm serious." Gil swigged his coffee like it was some bar drink. When he set it down again, he stared intently into what was left, fingers tapping stiffly across the ceramic. Then, he said, "I don't get how they do it. You have a group of- what? Five people over there? Where the hell do you even get that many friends from? And listen- I'm pretty sure I can hear- three different conversations going on right now, and I don't think they give a shit. I feel like I'm whispering. Not to mention, the fact they all walked in and decided to stay even with the place filling up..." He trailed off, seeming- amazed? Baffled? Vulnerable? He crossed his arms and scanned the shop, slumping in his chair. "I can't understand it."
Barnaby didn't really understand it either. Gil got it exactly right, voicing Barnaby's own envy for other people's ability to exist, but
how?
"You," the blonde attempted to phrase it as delicately as he could, "Invite strangers into your bed. You reveal everything without knowing them, and you get as close as two people can get without making promises to each other. How does anyone make sense of that?"
Gil grinned, and Barnaby decided it wasn't the reaction he was hoping for. "What did you say about your job?" he asked, subdued and jaded, "It's rehearsed?"
Barnaby frowned. "I don't see how you could rehearse that. Isn't everyone-
different?