I'm a divorced man living in Las Vegas. Recently retired, live alone and live a relatively normal life. I'm in decent shape for my age, 5'8", 180, and stocky build. I have been straight for the majority of my life. For the last few years, I have started to think more about getting together with another man. It goes beyond just this, as I want to be submissive to that man. I fantasize about it often and have had a few, like four, encounters with men for real.
These encounters were with men that said they were dominant and I tried to explain what I was hoping for. One of the men was rather dominant and I met with him three times. The other men were not as much dominant, as just men that wanted to have me suck their cocks. I was looking for more than that. I wanted a man, that when he stood in front of me, I couldn't keep eye contact and could only lower my eyes. What would he want of me? The man I met several times was into spanking, loved being sucked, like working my ass with a dildo and butt plugs. I always disappointed him by using my safe word too soon. I fantasize about hard spankings a lot but when it starts to hurt too bad, I always wimp out. I discussed after our last encounter that I didn't want a safe word next time, that I trusted him to know when I had had enough. I don't want him to stop till he has me crying like a little sissy. We haven't had a chance to get together since, he's married.
What I want? I would like to find a man that likes smoking a little pot or at least don't mind if I do. Makes it more intense and makes me feel more submissive. My ideal man would be very vocal and enjoy verbally abusing his boy. Maybe we would be sitting there getting high and he would surprise me by telling me that even if you didn't know anything about me, he would think I was gay. He would talk to me about how I try to be masculine and straight acting but that I didn't pull it off very well. He would tell me that it's not that hard to see and that there were probably a lot of other guys who saw me the same way. It was rather humiliating but made me wonder if he was right, did others see me that way? I know I told him that I wanted verbal abuse but when you actually hear another man talk to me like that it's rather intimidating.
He would start by explaining that we will be meeting bi monthly for training sessions. He would explain how I'm going to become his fag bitch. He said it was his job to beat the masculinity out of me. When finished, anytime the boy was with him, he would behave as a faggot. His training to get me to this point would involve a lot of discipline and verbal abuse to get me acting properly. It would be so humiliating to the boy to have to behave like such a fag.
The man explains to the boy that once trained, the man will expect the boy to serve other men or women if ordered. The encounters will never be in public places. He may be punished in front of the man's friends if the man desires to do so. Disobediance will not be tolerated. Limits will be agreed on earlier. He will learn to deep throat cock and will be fucked, safely of course, the boy must learn his place.
How far might this man take things and will the boy be able to measure up? I have been spanked pretty hard, have sucked cock and swallowed and two different guys tried to fuck me but had trouble keeping it up. Sometime I want to find out what it feels like to be fucked, really fucked.
Saying all that, fantasy is fantasy and I am hesitant to meet men for real. Have talked to a few men online and have found not a large demand for older submissive men. Also most ads just looking for more of just a fuck/suck thing and I desire more of a kinky scene. Worry a lot about stds and also jealous wives, don't want to get into the middle of a bad scene. That is my problem, too much thinking, probably why I need a man to take control when we are together. Not looking for any life changes, just a few hours a month to live out some fantasies.
The man would enjoy lording over the boy. Have the boy groveling at his feet, promising to do better and know that he means it. He would enjoy punishing his boy. The boy's tears always make his cock so hard. He visualizes the helpless boys tied up tightly and his to do with as he desires. His lessons on begging would remain on a boy's mind for a long time. He loves the look of a bright red ass. The boy must be taught his place. He fingers on the boy's chin making him look at him then suddenly slapping him. Then repeating it several times, making the boy look at him all the time. He wants to see the submission in the boy's eyes. He wants to watch him cry.
The man would train the boy to become a gifted cocksucker. He would spend a lot of time with a cock in his mouth. The boy will be face fucked, he will deep throat and he will swallow any cum not shot onto his faggot face. He will be kept in panties at all times when with real men, the less the boy thinks about being a man, the quicker he will accept the fact that he is a faggot cocksucker and needs to be used by men. The boy will be taught to give his ass to real men. He will want their cocks so badly, to be a good fuck for them. He knows what a bad attitude will get him, and realizes he must let other men see what a pussy boy he is.
Enough of that. A man can fantasize can't he? Never know that man might be right up the street just looking to take a straight man and turn him into a wimpy faggot. If only there were as many doms looking in the ads as there are ads by submissives. Would you like to read one of my fantasies? If so, keep reading.
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I was just finishing getting dressed. I have thought about doing this for a long time but figured I would just be wasting my time but was tired of staying home every night. I had decided to go hang out at a strip casino bar and see if I could meet someone interesting. Figured probably get hassled by some hookers there but not hard to get rid of them. Would enjoy their company but they want too much and besides, that isn't what I'm there for.
Put on grey slacks, dress shoes and a silky white shirt. It was as brave as I could get wearing that shirt. I knew it wasn't the most masculine shirt. I did have a pair of lacy pink bikini panties on but have worn panties out before. I was going for the look that would maybe make a man wonder if I was gay. I hope that I can change my mannerisms, and hopefully my voice, not shouting fag but if you were near me, it would start you thinking. I hope I can pull it off, have never tried it before and might chicken out. My normal voice and behavior not at all gay. I put a couple condoms in my pocket along with a small tube of lube, will add to the fantasy.
Smoke a big joint on the way to the casino. Pot always makes me feel more submissive. Wander through the casino, weaving through the people, checking out several hot looking women. Wonder what they would think if they knew I was wearing panties too. Get to the bar and take a stool in an area with no one too close. Order a manhatten, often have heard women order that drink, voice normal with the bartender. Get my drink and check out the others sitting up at the bar. Mainly businessmen, mostly in groups of two to four. Know that nothing can come of them, only chance would be meeting a man there by himself.
A band starts playing on a small stage and I watch as a few couple get up to dance. Looking around the bar seeing if there is anyone interesting sitting at a table. As I look around I make eye contact with a man standing behind the railing surrounding the bar. A good looking businessman, nice suit, looks to be around 50, tall, at least six foot two and looks in good shape. Realizing that I'm staring, I blame the pot, and look away quickly. I turn back around leaning my elbows on the bar as I watch the band.
I notice movement behind me and when I turn the man I saw on the railing is standing right there. He sits down on the stool beside mine.
'Hello,' he says extending his hand.
I'm kind of in shock and don't really react, then meekly get out a hello.
'It's best you shake my hand and act like you were waiting for me. You don't want anyone to think you are here hoping someone will pick you up, do you?'
Shocked when he said that but take his hand and shake it as he sits down. 'I'm Mike but I prefer you call me Sir, is that going to be a problem?'
'No, I guess not,' I say softly. I can't believe what is happening. Why does he think he can talk to me like that?
'I guess not Sir,' he says leaning forward, his eyes never leave mine.
It takes me a minute to understand what he said. I think about my fantasies and what is happening and realize what I must do. 'I guess not Sir,' I reply trying to sound more gay.
'Order me a scotch and get yourself another drink boy.'
The bartender comes over and I order the drinks and I pay for them when they come. He just sits there beside me watching me interact with the bartender. The man can see how nervous I feel about the situation.
He leans closer, 'You looking for a man boy?'
'I don't know Sir, I did come out looking to...'
'I don't want any fucking stories boy, you here looking for a real man? Yes or No.'
Looking down, 'Yes Sir.' He leans closer and I hope no one is watching as he is really in my space.
'You a good cocksucker boy?'
