It's amazing to me how a brief off hand comment or fleeting thought can take hold of a person and grow into a full blown obsession. This happened for me and it had led me, an otherwise straight, married, father of two, to become obsessed with idea of sucking a beautiful cock and swallowing its cum. I phrase that obsession carefully, referring specifically to the cock and its cum, not to the man attached to that cock. It could be any man, tall or short, blonde or brunette, slim or husky, black or white, just so long as he has a nice looking cock. I just want to feel that beautiful flesh sliding between my lips and savor the feeling of it depositing its load on my tongue.
So, how did I get here? It all started recently, just after my wife had finished giving me one hell of a great blowjob. With the remnants of my cum still on her lips, my wife gave a deep kiss, sharing the taste of my cum with me. When I responded eagerly, she offered me her fingers, with a few strands of cum that had escaped her mouth clinging to them, and told me to lick them clean, which I gladly did.
This was not the first time I had tasted my own cum, nor even the first time my wife shared my cum with me post-blowjob. But something clicked this time for me, and as we shared a passionate few minutes kissing and holding each other tightly my cock remained hard and ready. We proceeded to make love with a passion like we had when we first started dating, before kids and jobs and responsibilities made our sex life more about routine and less about spontaneous lustful passion. Actually that's not true. We didn't make love. We fucked. Raw, dirty fucking.
In the aftermath of our sex, my wife leaned over me, smiled and said, "So, that just happened." She looked at me with curiosity and asked, "What got into you tonight, Mister Two Times?" It had been awhile since I had gone twice in a row like that. So long awhile I couldn't have told you when the last time was. At least one kid ago.
"I dunno. Something just me going tonight, I guess. The blowjob, the kissing, your hot sexy body...". That earned me an elbow in the ribs and a sarcastic snort. My wife is gorgeous, curvy and sexy, a true MILF, but she sees herself as a thicker than she used to be mom of two. I kept going, "Honey, you know I think you are the sexiest woman alive and I love, really really love, having sex with you."
"Yeah," she asked, "but tonight was different, wasn't it? It seemed like something came over you, something wild and raw."
I knew exactly what she meant, but I wasn't sure I could or should tell her what it was. Could, because I have trouble articulating into words exactly what it was. Should, because in reality I know in my mind exactly what it really was, but it was too embarrassing, too private to share with the person I had been married to and shared a bed with for over twelve years. How do I tell my wife that what got me so hot and horny was the taste of cum, and the fleeting thought that I wanted to be the one to give the blowjob and swallow the cum.
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I guess I should back up even further. When I earlier said it "all started recently ", I may have lied just a little. The start actually goes back to my earliest years of puberty. For as long as I have been getting boners, I have always wondered what it would be like to suck a cock. Not obsessively wondered, more of a mild curiosity. I was not sexually attracted to guys, didn't want to be with guys sexually, had no interest in kissing guys, but the penis was interesting. In my mind, I was and I am heterosexual, attracted to all parts of the female and wanting only to date, have sex with and marry a female. But...the penis. I am fascinated by the penis.
Looking back, I remember sneaking peaks at my dad's Playboy magazines and falling in love with every centerfold girl. My mom also had Playgirl magazines. The men did nothing for me, but I always got hard looking at their dicks and imagining touching them. When I was old enough to understand sex, I would occasionally masturbate to mom's magazines and imagine sucking those dicks.
I played sports all the way through college, and while showering with my teammates I was never attracted to the boys, but I did like seeing their cocks in all their shapes and sizes. Again, on some occasions, my masturbation fantasies included sucking some of those dicks. But, it was just the dick in my fantasy, never the man.
As life progressed and marriage and kids came along, I have continued to have this one secret fantasy. My wife is my partner, my soulmate and my best friend. We have shared dozens of our dirtiest fantasies and role played them all. Cuckold, hotwife, group sex, swinging, public sex - we could and did discuss them all, and role playing them made our sex life fun and spicy. But, for some reason I could never tell her about my cock sucking fantasies. Maybe I was afraid she'd think I was turning gay - not that there's anything wrong with that (thank you Mr. Seinfeld). We have several gay friends, so I know she's no homophobe. So, why not share it with her? I just can't answer that.
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Back to that night. As I mentioned, something clicked when she shared my cum with me. I still could not explain it to her, but I knew there was more to it than just a rekindled fantasy. It was an re-awakening of my long held fascination, and it would grow to a full blown obsession with me finally fulfilling my desire for sucking cock.
For the next few weeks I could not get the fantasy out of my head. I found myself looking at cocks when I checked out porn on Tumblr and Reddit. I browsed gay chat rooms for straight men wanting to experiment. When my wife would give me head I would try to concentrate on what I liked best in her technique so I could duplicate it if given the chance. I made it clear to her that I really liked when she shared my cum from her lips and fingers. I was so horny for dick, I started masturbating daily while imagining being on my knees with a big dick in my mouth.
My wife isn't stupid. She noticed the increase in my sex drive. We had gone from once or twice a week to four to five times, with the occasional two time in a night action. She joked that I had secretly been popping Viagra. I think she was enjoying the increased activity, too, or at least she wasn't complaining. But, at some point she was going to put two and two times in a night together and get four. And, eventually, I made it easy for her.
My job occasionally allows me to take half days when I can come home and enjoy having the house to myself without a wife and kids around. On one such day I was enjoying my alone time sitting on the couch in my boxers and a t-shirt, watching ESPN and browsing Literotica on my IPad for stories about straight men sucking cock. I found a good story, and secure in the knowledge I had the house to myself, I pulled my boxers down and started to rub one out. The story was hot as fuck and I was so completely engrossed in it, along with the sound of the ESPN talking heads discussing the upcoming baseball season in the background, that I didn't hear my wife come home through the garage door. She knew I was home, so she also left work early, wanting to surprise me with an afternoon delight.
So, there I was, rock hard and beating my meat like it owed me money while my wife quietly watched. I had been edging for awhile browsing the stories, so when I finally popped off I produced a pretty good load. I set my IPad aside and started to sample my cum from my fingers and then nearly jumped through the roof when my wife started clapping. My face was red, my heart was racing and I had cum all over myself. All I could manage to say was, "Uh, hi honey."
"That was so fucking hot!" My wife was clearly enjoying the moment and started peppering me with questions. "How often do you do that? Can I watch again? Do you always taste your cum when you masturbate? Can you get it up again, because seeing that I really want to fuck?" And then, finally, she asked, "What were you reading?"