It is said that bisexuality doubles one's chances of being laid on any given night. Of course, the joke only works if the subject is "out," and I certainly was not, even at age 19.
High school...not always the best time to let your friends know that you fantasize about both genders. I first started fantasizing about other guys during junior year, but I thought at the time that my lust for men was just another weird fetish phase. Naturally it would pass quickly...well, it didn't. I managed to keep my feelings secret from all but a few people, and the people who I did tell were other closeted guys who approached me about being gay or bi. I never knew how they found me out—I guess some people just have a sixth sense for this sort of thing. In any event, for the next two years I fooled around with both guys and girls (the former in total secrecy). I used to wish sometimes that I was strictly straight, because at least I could imagine that I had a
slim
chance with incredibly hot girls. But being bi, I had to come to terms with the fact that I could never have most guys.
Where I come from, football is a huge sport, and my old high school had the best team in the state. Some players were venerated so much at school that one would think that motherfucking Jerry Rice was a member of the student body. Of course, there were a number of hot guys on the team, but the hottest of them all was Cam. At around 6'3" the boy towered over most kids in our grade by the end of senior year. He had a model's face, with glowing ivory skin, soft facial features, and sparkling white teeth. His eyes were a penetrating deep blue, and he kept his short blonde hair spiked up in the front. I jacked off to his shirtless Facebook pictures constantly. His torso was lean, yet extremely well muscled from abs to pecs. His biceps were the best part—huge rocks when fully flexed. It was no secret that Cam didn't mind getting fully naked in the football showers, and although I never got to see him (
fuck!),
it was said that his cock was monstrously huge. I usually pictured myself fucking the stud in my fantasies, but something about that big dick made my asshole tingle.
Even though Cam and I shared a few classes senior year, we never had much of a reason to interact. We hardly spoke a word to each other except in passing, and I didn't have the balls to talk to him. Thus, we lived our separate lives—him being his hot self while I got my rocks off to his pictures. It continued until graduation, and after that I gradually forgot about Cam as college life got under way...
...until one day during spring break. That afternoon, as I was sitting in front of my laptop, something happened that I did not expect. I was on Facebook, messaging some hot chick, when all of a sudden I got a message from Cam.
"hey." That one word made my heart skip a beat, and I nearly choked on the juice I was drinking. Forgetting all about the girl I was chatting with, I sent back a quick message.
What the fuck could this be about?
"hey man, I havent talked to you since graduation...whats up?" I pressed enter and waited for his reply.
"yeah I know lol," he typed back. "This is really random I know but I got something to ask you."
"yeah what is it?" I replied.
Naw, it can't be, I'm just getting my hopes up. He's probably looking to score some weed off me or hook up with some girl I know.
"i just wanna ask you what your opinion is on guys liking other guys cause after high school i realized that id like to try something with a dude. senior year you kinda gave me a vibe that made me think you liked guys, im not gonna lie i thought you were pretty good looking and i was wondering if you wanna experiment and mess around some time. i hope im right i got a feeling that i am, but if you arent into that plz dont tell anyone about this...i think i can trust you."
For a few seconds I just stared at the screen, mouth agape. I was stunned.
No, fuck no, this could not be real.
Dozens of emotions flooded my head at once.
It's just a trick. The fucking jock is trying to out you. Blackmail you. Who the fuck knows? He doesn't like guys though, that's for sure.
"naw im not into guys srry man," I typed in. I prepared to hit the enter key—but I did not. The blatant lie typed into the message box stared back at me through the screen.
Grow some balls, Billy. Tell the truth for once in your life. You want this. He's 18 or 19 by now, it is okay. Aw, fuck it!
I highlighted the bullshit message and erased it. I knew I was taking a risk, and my heart pounded at the thought of what I was now going to write. My hands nearly shook as I typed.
"HOLY SHIT i never knew you were curious like that or i wouldve talked to you a long time...yeah, I guess you could say im bi." I hit send and waited for his reply. Seconds ticked by. I could actually hear my heart beating hard against my chest.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
"WOOO haha yeee i knew i was right about you!!!" came Cam's reply. "Soooo...what did you think of me? like in school? cause i think youre wicked hot." He ended the message with a little winking emoticon.
YES YES YES YES
was the only thing going through my mind at that moment.
"wow i cant believe you think that...im not even close to being as good looking as you. You were the hottest guy in our school by far."
"yeah thx," Cam replied. "but still youre pretty hot yourself. I dont know if this is creepy but i used to beat off to your pics a lot."
Cam
...the hottest guy I know, the great football stud...beat off to pics of me?
"not creepy at all man," I told him. "truth is i got off to all those shirtless pics of you on Facebook."
"YOU DID?!?!" came his reply. "well i guess its pretty obvious we are attracted to each other lol. Wanna come over for awhile? i got the whole house to myself for the next few days. i live at 50 Summer in case you need to know...theres so much shit I wanna do with you."
Yeah...like doing me.
"could I come over now?" I asked.
"yeah!" he replied back without hesitation.
"sweeeeet." I typed. "im on my way." Lurching up from my seat, I ran to the bathroom mirror to get ready. I brushed my teeth thoroughly and made sure my hair looked okay—I was more nervous than I had ever been about my appearance. When I finished getting ready, I ran outside and jumped into my car.
Cam was there to open the front door when I arrived. He had not changed much in almost a year, and he looked delicious standing there in a tight muscle shirt and basketball shorts.