Falling for Matthew

Normally I'd wake up regretfully, instantly turning over and trying to get back to sleep. Not today though. Today I was out of bed and on my feet practically before I had my eyes fully open. I felt giddy with excitement and could hardly wait for the day to get started. After a quick stretch and a glance out the window to make sure the weather suited my mood, I bounded down the stairs ready for my birthday breakfast.

I must have been making quite a bit of noise coming down the stairs; both my parents were chuckling good-naturedly at my excitement. My mom was at the stove making the traditional pancakes just like she had every 20th of May for as long as I could remember. Dad was seated in his usual spot reading the morning paper.

"Happy birthday, kid" he said giving me a warm smile with a glint in his eye. He hadn't called me that in ages, trust him to do it on my eighteenth birthday. It was undoubtedly his way of telling me that I may be an adult legally, but I still had a fair bit of growing up to do.

Before I had time to comment, mom put down the spatula and came over to give me a hug. "Happy birthday, sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

I hugged her back, mumbled my thanks and a quick; "I slept fine." I hated lying to my mom, and preferred to do it in an almost unintelligible way. I didn't feel too guilty about this lie though, it wasn't a big deal. I just didn't feel like explaining to her that it felt like I hadn't had a decent night's sleep in months.

I kept having these weird dreams that stuck with me throughout the day. I'd forget all about them by the time I got to school, and then glimpses of them would pop into my head at the strangest moments. Sometimes it was difficult to remember what had actually happened and what had only been a dream. My best friend Matthew featured heavily in those dreams. It seemed that every night we did something new that I would never dare to attempt in real life. Never mind that I have a girlfriend, that I consider myself 100% straight or that Matt has never shown the slightest interest in guys; I could never do anything that would jeopardize my friendship with him. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep all this straight in my head; we were so close and so intimate in my head every night that I found myself about to reach for him disturbingly frequently. And it was becoming increasingly painful to hold back.

At the same time, I felt more and more withdrawn from Jane. She was a nice girl, a good girlfriend, and I was sure half the guys in my class would kill to be in my shoes whenever we walked out the door hand in hand. God knows she hadn't done anything wrong and I hated myself for distancing myself from her, I could see that she had noticed and that it hurt her, but it simply wasn't something I could control.

My thoughts finally back in mom's kitchen, my eyes fell on the stack of perfectly cooked pancakes and my stomach rumbled quite loudly.

"Why don't you take a seat? I'm nearly out of batter here anyway. We'll eat in a minute." mom said without turning around; she was used to having a ravenous teenager in the house by now.

"Want me to set the table?" I asked in a conscious effort to at least treat one woman in my life the way she deserved.

"That'd be great." Dad's only contribution was to clear away his small mountain of newspapers so that there would be room for breakfast on the table.

As we sat down to eat, dad asked; "Have you thought more about which weekend you want to go to the cabin?"

"I dunno, I was thinking maybe the last weekend in June. I'll have to talk to Matt and see when it suits him."

My family has never had a lot of money to spare, and with saving up for me to go to college they couldn't really afford to splash out on a proper present for me. Instead they had offered to loan me the car for a trip up to the family cabin for a weekend. With us having only the one car, and my dad and his four brothers and sisters sharing ownership of the cabin, I'd never been able to travel there by myself before. I used to love staying there when I was a kid, but since I hit puberty my patience with my parents seemed to be directly related to how much time I had to spend with them and how much time I got to myself. Needless to say, trips to the cabin had become far less fun than they used to be. I was really looking forward to going back there with only Matt for company.

"You're not inviting Jane along?" mom asked innocently. She was obviously trying really hard to be cool about my having a girlfriend and potentially being 'sexually active', and the only reason I didn't roll my eyes at her was my surprise over the fact that I hadn't thought to invite Jane at all. It never even occurred to me!

"No, she's working in the store all summer to save up money for her euro-trip in the fall."

This was true, but it certainly wasn't the reason she wasn't invited. I knew then that I should have broken up with her weeks ago. We weren't all that serious, but now I'd have to put it off for a while. I couldn't very well dump her right after my birthday; she would have gotten me a present, and unless it was a heat of the moment thing where we had a massive fight, dumping her simply wasn't on.

"You better hurry up if you're gonna make it to school on time. Matt will be here to pick you up in 15 minutes."

Surprised I looked at the clock on the kitchen wall, saw she was right and started wolfing down the rest of my pancakes. After washing down the pancake lump in my chest with half a glass of orange juice, I gave my mom a quick peck on the cheek on my way out of the kitchen.

I had literally just dumped my toothbrush back in the mug on the bathroom counter when I heard Matt pull up outside. I grabbed my bag and ran back downstairs to greet him. I made it to the front door before I realized what I was doing and slowed down. Matt's a patient guy and he always made it to my house with plenty of time to make it to school; I had no other reason for hurrying except for being excited to see him. Damn, better watch it. Feeling self-conscious as I walked down the drive to his car I silently reprimanded myself.

I was barely fully in the car before I was enveloped warmly in his arms. For a second I was both startled and ridiculously pleased.

"Happy birthday, man!"

Oh yeah, I forgot! Feeling a bit sheepish I said "Thanks."

"How were the pancakes?"

Before I could answer, there was a tap on the window. Mom was there holding a pancake wrapped in a paper napkin. Matt obligingly rolled down the window.

"I thought you might like one" mom said simply, handing it to him. He grinned widely as he accepted the still warm pancake.

"Thanks, Mrs Thomas!" he called after her; she was already heading back towards the house.

Undoubtedly she was hurrying back inside partly because she was still in her bathrobe and didn't want to be spotted by the neighbors even though it covered her up more efficiently than most of her normal outfits. She was also careful about keeping her distance. She cared for Matt, he may not be her son, but he was my best friend and he had been ever since my first day of school. Knowing that life at his house wasn't all it was cracked up to be, she always tried to soothe some of the hurts she knew he carried with him, but she never hovered. She respected our privacy and the fact that we had the most fun when it was just the two of us, so she stayed in the background making sure we both felt cared for.

As he bit into the pancake, Matt let out a groan; he loved my mom's cooking. I had to close my eyes; the look of ecstasy on his face was too much. It felt like I had seen it only an hour ago and under very different circumstances.

By the time I dared look at him again, most of the pancake was gone. I was about to reprimand him for not savoring it, but then I realized he was probably hungry. They had plenty of food at his house, but without a mom who took the time to make him anything he frequently neglected to make himself a proper breakfast. Matt was capable of taking care of himself, there had never been a need to call child protection services, but there were lots of little things that would go unnoticed by people who paid less attention than I did. His clothes were always clean, but hardly ever ironed. Most of the time that didn't matter; he was eighteen, nobody expected his jeans to have a crease. But although his clothes were expensive, he sometimes looked a little forlorn and neglected. Actually, considering his fierce independence and considerable inner strength, I suppose I should say he looked like an eighteen year old bachelor. A really hot one with fierce blue eyes, a wicked smile and a body to die for. I had to suppress a sigh just thinking about it and forced myself to keep staring out the front windshield.

We joked and chatted amongst ourselves in the usual manner on the drive to school. By the time we got there we were both in a pretty good mood, even by our standards. We had barely been on the school grounds for two minutes before Jane found us. My mood instantly took a slight turn for the worse. Jane didn't notice, but Matt certainly did. He looked at me quizzically and I could tell that I had some explaining to do. I instantly dreaded it; I hated lying to Matt even more than I hate lying to my mom. What was I gonna say?

In the meantime, Jane's bubbly presence, well-wishes for my birthday and constant chattering served as a buffer. I knew I'd have the entire school day to figure something out before he could question me on the drive home. I've never been good a lying and my only hope was for him to take it easy on me on my birthday.

"Earth to Jake!"

I snapped out of my worries and turned to look at Jane. "Hmm?"

"I said, what time are you picking me up for dinner tonight?" Going out with Jane on my birthday was almost as much of an established tradition as the breakfast pancakes.

"I was thinking six-thirty. You still have to be home by ten, right?" Normally I would have resented her parents for not even making an exception for her curfew on a Friday night, not even to celebrate my birthday, but this year I only feigned disappointment. She slid her arms around my waist and I let my cheek rest against the top of her head.

"Yeah, they still won't budge. I'm really looking forward to tonight; I can't wait to show you my new dress!"

My heart sank as I noticed Matt taking off the same way he always did whenever Jane and I did or said anything too coupley. I pretended not to notice and said; "Well, in that case; I can't wait to see it." Jane visibly relaxed as I smiled at her as warmly as I could muster. It only made me feel like even more of a shit.

When we caught up to Matt and sat down next to him at the back of the classroom, I remembered that I still had to ask him about our weekend away. I decided to leave it for later though, we seemed to have an unspoken agreement that it should just be the two of us and it would be rude, if not just plain mean, to bring it up in front of Jane.

I was wrong when I assumed he'd question me about my cold attitude towards Jane on the way home. He hardly said anything at all. When I asked him about the trip to the cabin, all he said was "Are you sure you wouldn't rather bring Jane with you?" It was a normal enough question, but there was an edge to his voice that made me wonder if I'd done something to upset him.

Too chicken to ask him about it, I just said "No, I was looking forward to it just being the two of us. Don't you want to go anymore?"

"Course I do." he said, sounding very tired all of a sudden.

We pulled up outside my house shortly after. I just sat there for a minute, wondering why I felt so tense around him all of a sudden. "You coming in today?" He stayed at my house for a couple hours after school more often than not.

"Not today." he replied, still staring straight ahead.

"Did I do something wrong?" I blurted out.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you won't look at me for one thing." He let out a sigh and turned his head slowly and deliberately toward me. His eyes lacked all their usual warmth and all of a sudden my stomach was tied up in a cold knot of anxiety; I'd never seen him look at me that way before, so detached and unfeeling.

"You should go and get ready for you date with Jane. If I came inside you'd only be late. She's got big plans for tonight and it would be cruel to keep her waiting."

Clearly he knew something I didn't. Realizing he wasn't going to tell my anything more, I mumbled a dejected "okay." and slowly got out of the car. I started to anyway, but just as I was getting out Matt grabbed my arm and pulled me back in for a hug. The angle made it a bit uncomfortable, but I certainly wasn't about to complain. Especially when it seemed to go on for a bit longer than normal, it felt like coming home. In the end he was the one who had to end the hug, just as he always was. I got out of the car and just as I was about the close the door, he said "Happy birthday, Jake." He sounded so sad that all the anxiety that had been alleviated by the hug returned instantly. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just closed the door and watched him drive off.

I met Matt on the very first day of school. None of the kids on my street were close enough to me in age that they took much notice of me, and consequently I didn't know any of the other kids in class. Before lunchtime, I had already cried twice and the third grade bullies had homed in on me with unnerving skills of detection. I was a loser and, before the first day of school was even halfway over, everyone knew it. I wasn't that small for my age, but these boys seemed absolutely huge. As they circled in on me, I fought the urge to cry. I was terrified and knew it was only a matter of time before the tears spilled down my cheeks again. All of a sudden, Matt was just there. He didn't even have to say anything to the four guys who had been spending the last ten minutes looking forward to making the little kid cry. His very presence was enough to make them back off and look for easier prey. He quietly took my hand and walked me over to a table in the corner and we ate our lunches together that day and every day after. He was never one for talking much and it took me a while to get to know him properly, but he made me feel oh so safe and protected.

As I locked myself into the quiet house, I wondered how I had come to depend on him so completely for my sense of security and how I was going to cope with that after graduation. Even though we were planning to go to the same college, eventually things would have to change. Mom and dad still kept in touch with their friends from high school, but at their age that meant seeing each other once every few months and sending christmas cards. I couldn't see how that was ever going to be enough for me regarding Matt.

Dumping my backpack on my bed, I noticed that my shirt smelled faintly of Matt still. Sniffing it, I felt my cock jump to attention. Having actively fought to keep it under control all day, it didn't take much to get me going now that I no longer had to put all that effort into keeping my fantasies and feelings secret. I quickly pulled my shirt off so I could smell it more easily. Holding it up to my nose I savored the smell of his cologne and the slight trace of the scent that was purely and simply Matthew. With a groan I got my cock out and starting stroking it slowly. Out of habit, my mind instantly went back to the night on the beach two years ago.

It was a night for firsts; it was the first time we got drunk, Matt fucked a girl for the first time, and I got to look at him naked, properly, for the first time. At the time it didn't give me much more than a twinge of painful jealousy, mostly it just got me hot watching him fuck Lucy's brains out. It had started as a double date on the beach. We had a little bonfire, ate marshmallows till we felt sick and topped it off with a bottle of vodka that Matt had brought from his dad's liquor cabinet. Jane drank too much, way too quickly. She spent a good half hour throwing up, before passing out. It was clear she wasn't going to wake up until her hangover made sleep impossible. While I'd been in the bushes holding Jane's hair back and making sure she didn't pass out, things had progressed nicely for Matt.

When we got back to the bonfire, Matt and Lucy seemed to be trying to suck each other's faces off. His hand was under her shirt, fondling her tit. Jane just lied down in the sand facing the other way, too sick to notice anything. For a while I tried to give them some privacy, to look away, but soon Lucy's moaning was so insistent that my curiosity got the better of me. I peeked at them from the corner of my eye and felt my jaw drop. Lucy's skirt was up around her waist, her legs spread wide. Matt was kneeling between her milky thighs, positively going to town on her pussy. Thrusting two fingers slowly into her while sucking on her clit, he was clearly making her feel good. My cock was rock hard by now, and I felt embarrassed for intruding on something so private. I looked away again.

It didn't take me long before I was back staring at them shamelessly again; Lucy let out an outraged squeal before moaning even louder than before. Matt was fingerfucking her intently now, and had started pushing a finger up her asshole as well. Flicking his tongue rapidly over her clit while thrusting his fingers into her ass and pussy, he pushed her over the edge. She tangled her hands in his hair, securing him in place and rubbed her pussy all over his face as she came with a stifled scream. She was barely done spasming before Matt had his cock out and aligned with her tight opening. He thrust all nine inches inside her in one go, making them both groan with pleasure. "Fuck you're tight, baby" he said before kissing her passionately.

I was past feeling embarrassed now. If they were too drunk to care that they were having sex right in front of me, why should I bother looking the other way? This was way too hot to pass up anyway. I sat there in the sand on the opposite side of the bonfire to them, stroking my cock to the pace of Matt's thrusts. It didn't take very long at all for Matt to get into a rhythm. He pumped in and out of her pussy with short, hard jabs and it seemed to be doing the trick. Her pussy was so wet I could hear it squelching from six feet away. Matt was thrusting so fast now that I could hear his balls slapping agains her ass every time he bottomed out.

"Take off your shirt. I need to see those gorgeous tits of yours, and I'm sure Jake here would love to see them bounce as I fuck you."

Had I heard him right? Was he putting on a bit of a show for my benefit? It would appear so; just as Lucy whipped her shirt over her head, Matt turned his head and winked at me. He didn't last much longer after that, it was his first time after all.

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum. Ooooh God, damn that's it! Milk my cock with your pussy!" he moaned and did a few more hard thrusts into her before shooting his load deep inside her pussy.

Two years later, I still came the same time he did, this time to the mental image of his ass clamping up as he shot his load. I realized I had no idea what Lucy's tits looked like. Apparently, I was already back then too preoccupied with Matt's gorgeous ass, and the way he had wanted me to get off on watching them, to actually look at them properly. Still picturing his perfect ass, I shot my load into the shirt in my hand with a groan.

I dropped Jane off at her house at ten, on the dot. "I had a really nice time tonight. And you really do look great."

She had clearly put in a lot of effort to look good for me tonight, and she did look stunning. Her auburn hair was curled and bounced sweetly whenever she laughed. Her dress, the palest pink satin hugged her figure perfectly, flaring out at the waist to accentuate her hourglass figure.