Note: this story contains scenes of father-son incest.
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They didn't speak a word the whole drive home. Oliver sat there in silence as his dad kept his hands gripped on the wheel, staring out at the road. He wanted to break the silence, to apologize, to say anything at all not to feel this way. By the time they got home and walked through the door, the cold and empty house felt like a prison.
"I'm gonna go to bed," said Noah. He started up the stairs when Oliver grabbed his arm.
"Wait."
The look of pain in his dad's eyes made Oliver start to cry. "I'm sorry, Dad." Oliver said, his face contorting as tears streamed out. "This is all my fault. If I'd just waited until we were home, if I hadn't been so selfish-"
"Ollie..."
"- he would never have caught us. You warned me about him and I didn't listen. And now I've ruined everything. I'm so sorry daddy."
Oliver grabbed his father, holding him as he sobbed against his chest.
Noah wrapped his arms around his son, rubbing his back softly.
"Baby, it's not your fault. It's mine."
Oliver looked up at his dad in shock.
"I should never have put this on you in the first place. I should have known better. I wasn't thinking, I was blinded by my feelings for you..."
Noah had tears in his eyes. His voice grew husky as he said, "You told me that I should have just kept my feelings to myself. If I had done that, if I had just kept it to myself, like you wanted, you wouldn't be in this mess. You would have your whole future ahead of you. You'd be able to find someone, a man you can actually make a family with."
Oliver shook his head incredulously. "I don't want some man, dad, I want you. I'm glad you told me how you felt. You were right, you were right about everything. I love you. And I wanna be with you."
He kissed his dad. Noah kissed him back for a moment, then pushed him away.
Oliver grabbed his face, looking in his eyes. "We can get past this, we'll find a way to pay him off, I'll... I'll defer going to college for a year-"
"Oliver-"
"-two years, forever. I don't care. Whatever it takes!"
"You are not giving up on college. I'm not gonna let that happen." Noah took Oliver's hands away from his face. "I am going to fix this. You don't have to worry about anything. You're going to go to college and you're going to live your life and leave me behind to clean up the mess I created."
Oliver looked up at his dad, his face trembling. "But what about us?"
"I can't do this anymore, Oliver. I won't put you at risk."
Oliver was in shock. "What are you saying?"
"I'm sorry, Ollie... but we're done."
"You don't mean that."
Noah stared at him, his eyes red. "Yes I do."
He walked up the stairs and into his bedroom as Oliver stared after him in disbelief.
"Daddy!" Oliver called after him as he shut the door behind him.
He stood there in shock, looking around the room, unable to reconcile what had happened. Everything felt like it was spinning. He could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest, hear it pounding in his ears. How could this have happened? How did they get here?
He walked numbly up the stairs towards his room and shut the door behind him. As he began to get undressed, he felt the full weight of what had happened that night wash over him. He sank to his knees, crying. He sat there on the ground and sobbed. He so desperately wanted to go over to his father's room, throw himself into his arms, and beg him to hold him. Part of him hoped that maybe his father would even hear his crying and come to comfort him.
But it was wishful thinking. After a few minutes, Oliver collected himself, got to his knees, and finished disrobing. He got underneath the covers, pulling a pillow to his chest to have something to hold onto. He'd never felt so alone in his life. Even when his mother died, he knew he still had his father there to comfort him. But not anymore.
Oliver cried himself to sleep, desperately hoping that there was some way back from this.
Like every morning after a good cry, Oliver awoke feeling slightly better about his situation. He knew they were still in the same awful predicament as before, but he was determined to find a way through it β together. He didn't care what his father said. He wasn't going to give up that easily.
He walked downstairs to find his father gone, with a note on the kitchen counter that read:
"
Ollie. I've gone to run a few errands. I'll be back later today. Dad.
"
Oliver sank down on the chair. What could he do? There had to be something. Sure, he didn't exactly have access to 100 grand. Hell, he barely had a couple hundred bucks in his bank account. He'd never even had a job before. He suddenly realized how powerless he truly was.
"Fuck that," he thought.
He picked up his phone and began to dial.
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"Well, you've got excellent credit. I think we can definitely come up with some pretty decent interest rates."
Noah sat in one of those uncomfortable lounge chairs they seemed to have at every bank, nodding at the teller.
"And you can do it for the full $100,000?" he asked.
"Well, we only offer up to $40,000 for personal loans. But if you're looking for a mortgage, then I can get you higher."
"I need it in cash. By Friday."
The bank teller frowned.
"That might be a problem. It's three business days to get approved, then at least another three before you have access to the funds."
Noah sighed in frustration. "Is there anywhere that I can get the funds quicker?"
"You can try an online lender. But they're not going to give you the kind of interest rates that we'll be able to provide."
Noah put his head in his hands. "Okay, what if... what if I took money out of my retirement fund? I know I'd take a hit with taxes, but would I be able to get at least 20 grand?"
The bank teller nodded. "Yes, that would be possible... although you would also have to pay a 10% early withdrawal fee. You're going to be taking quite a hit. May I ask what the money is for?"
"Does it matter?"
"Well, no. But there are easier ways to get money if you're willing to wait. What's the rush?"
Noah stared at him resolutely. "When will I have access to the funds?"
"I can put the transfer in now, but it won't be processed until Monday. You should have the funds by about 2 business days from then."
Noah nodded. "Good. Then we're done."