The door opens at a touch of my hand to a panel at its centre, and it slides soundlessly aside, revealing a gaping maw into which steps disappear, leading into darkness. I pull him into a rough embrace and kiss him hard.
"Are you sure? Are you really sure?"
"No. I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything; but I have to, Luma, I have to." I hold him close, feeling the pounding of his heart. Mine is racing just as fast. I hate this. Well... If I have to do it, I have to do it fast or not at all.
Drawing Star across the threshold I pull him into my arms and close the door, engulfing us in darkness. Star clutches at me, scared.
"Do you trust me?" I ask softly into his ear.
"With my life," he whispers and then cries out as we step off the steps and plummet into darkness. There is a rustle in the air around us as if a flock of birds are flying past and then, a few moments later, we gently touch the ground. Star staggers and I support him until he gets his balance.
"Luma... what the...? Why did you do that? How did you do that?" The sound echoes, magnified a hundred times by what is clearly a vast space. "Where are we?" he whispers, scared of the rolling echoes.
"Ssh. Don't speak. From now on you must not speak, no matter what happens. Do you understand?"
"Yes," he whispers. It is too dark to see him nod.
Taking him by the arm I lead him carefully across an echoing stone floor. At first he is hesitant but gets more confident and follows me freely. When I stop he stands quietly.
"Wait," I say and move away from him to where I know there is a trap door in the floor of the cave. Opening it I see a small chamber in the rock about a foot square. I carefully lift out the box it contains. My heart is pounding and my hands trembling.
At the bottom of the chamber is a hand shaped depression and I lay my hand in it, pressing down with my fingertips. After a few moments I become aware of a soft glow as somewhere behind me something lights up. I pause for a moment, not wanting to see.
Finally I rise from my crouch and turn. Star is standing on the edge of a circle of light, about seven feet in diameter. Within the circle, set into the floor, is a five pointed star. Every line is made up of a band about 3 inches wide of glowing red symbols edged with lines of solid gold. It's all that remains of an ancient language; now dusty and dead, but still symbolically potent. The symbols seem to crawl across the floor generating their own light.
Beyond the circle there is nothing and the star seems to be suspended in the darkness, glowing.
Star turns to me and opens his mouth but I shake my head and he closes it again, nodding. His eyes are enormous, bright splashes of colour against the darkness.
"Take off your clothes," I say softly and he complies instantly. While he is stripping I empty the box laying its contents on the floor at the edge of the circle. There is a crystal chalice, four lengths of fine silk rope, a small leather bound book heavy with gilt, and an ornately carved and bejewelled blowing horn.
In the very corner of the box, in a pocket made especially to keep it snug and upright, is a small glass phial. The liquid it contains is of no colour and every colour, swirling, iridescent, generating its own light. It is very beautiful and very deadly.
Laying aside the book and the horn, and tucking the cords safely into my pocket, I take my knife and draw it quickly across my wrist. I hold my arm over the chalice and watch the blood flow into it until it is half full.
Pausing to seal the wound with my healing venom I place the chalice on top of the box, right at the edge of the circle. By now Star is at my shoulder, curious. I make no attempt to hide what I am doing; what's the point? Uncapping the phial I let a few drops fall into the blood. The drops lie for a few moments on top of the liquid and then they sink beneath the surface.
Gradually a glow appears at the heart of the blood and it slowly expands and brightens until it is all illuminated, as sparkling and incandescent as the liquid in the phial itself.
I leave the chalice on top of the box and quickly shuck out of my clothes. Star is watching me with wide, enchanted eyes, and when I look up into them my heart quakes. Carefully picking up the chalice I lay my hand on his shoulder and gaze deeply into his eyes.
"This is the last time you can walk away. Are you sure, Star, are you really sure?"
Star doesn't answer; perhaps he is taking me too literally about that. Still staring into my eyes he puts his hands around mine on the chalice and, almost without me realising what he's doing he raises it to his lips. For a moment there is a flash of fear in his eyes but he takes a deep breath, squeezes them closed and tips the chalice so the contents flow into his mouth.
Instantly his eyes fly wide and he seems to freeze for a moment, then swallows the liquid in a gulp and gasps.
"That..."
"Sssh. No speaking, my love."
He nods his head, smiling. I stroke his cheek, watching his eyes fill will the sparkling lights. "It's too late now. There is no going back, only going forward. Whatever happens now remember that I love you and I am here with you. Hold on to this." I lean forwards and kiss him. His lips are icy cold but his hand that buries itself in my hair, and the skin under my hands, are warm and soft.
"It's time." I break contact with him. He looks confused. Already his mind is sinking under the effects of the drug. He is feeling the separation of body and spirit. When I take his hand he looks down at it with a frown on his face, trying to make sense of something that can no longer make sense to him.
"Lie down."
Obediently he lies on the floor in the middle of the star and stares up at the darkness overhead. Taking one of the ropes from my pocket I knot it, slip it around his wrist and bind it to an iron hoop sunk into the floor in the middle of one of the arms of the star. Star watches me impassively as I repeat the process with his other wrist and both ankles. He is now securely bound hand and foot and there is no escape... there hasn't been from the moment the poison touched his lips.
I kneel between his legs and gaze down at his beautiful face. The somewhat vacant blue eyes gaze back and he smiles dreamily. "Oh Star." I close my eyes and dash away the tears that slide down my cheeks.
Part of me wants to take my time, to savour the moments, the last moments with the man I love. This is the last time I will ever touch the Star he is now, the last time I will ever look into his eyes, that last time I will kiss his lips, the last time... Even if he survives the ritual he will come out of it as someone else; someone who is the same but very, very different.
But the bigger part of me just wants to get this over with. I want to know one way or another and if the whole purpose of this is to save Bridge then I want the ritual done in time to do that.
Running my hands over his stomach I watch the sensations it evokes send him spinning. It doesn't take much in this state to overload his senses. He is hardly 'here' at all; not Star; not the part of him that makes him who he is. Already the poison is breaking down this body, it is disintegrating from the inside and when I release my seed inside him this body will die. It's what happens to the rest of him that makes all the difference.
Star moans as I run my hands over his body. Small whimpers bubble from his lips and for a short while he struggles weakly against his bonds. The slightest brush of my fingers over his balls stops the struggling though, it takes away his ability to formulate thought and he stills. For a moment I close my eyes. I don't want to see him sink; I don't want to see that look; that moment when he loses himself; when his light goes out. When I open my eyes it has passed.
I can't do this. Biting my lip I somewhat roughly raise his hips and penetrate him. He cries out, his body shuddering and a look of discomfort comes over his face. He tries to pull away but of course he can't. He doesn't know it's me anymore. He doesn't know what's happening, he just knows that it really doesn't feel very good.
By now the poison is turning his blood to fire and the pain is increasing rapidly. The moans that are pouring from him are not because of any pleasure he is getting from my fucking... there is no pleasure, there is only pain.
Fortunately I completely focussed in the ritual and I have very good control of my body so that I am able to bring myself to climax without any desire and with my mind screaming every step of the way. Star gets more and more agitated through the process and throws his head and body from side to side moaning as if in the grip of a raging fever. I hold back my ejaculation as long as I can because I know what will happen when it comes, but eventually it is just too cruel to prolong his suffering anymore.
As soon as I release I withdraw, rising to my feet and for a moment turning away from his screams. I pick up the book and fix my eyes on the page as I begin to speak the words that are written there. As I speak, the symbols on the star begin to glow more brightly and move more swiftly.
I try not to look at Star's body as it convulses and strains against the bonds. The flesh on his wrists and ankles beneath the silk rope is torn and bleeding and there is blood trickling from his mouth where he has bitten his tongue. He's completely lost control of his body and I don't even want to think about that.
As much as I try to keep my eyes away from Star the rest of my senses are not so easily distracted and, in particular I can hear the thuds, groans and screams. They become inhuman. He is not my Star anymore. He is a creature that is mindless, stinking, dying. He is nothing. And maybe that is the way he will remain.
The chanting begins to have an effect on Star. The convulsing ends and he whimpers pathetically, weeping and gasping as his life ebbs. He doesn't know where he is or who he is or even what he is but he knows he is hurting and he knows he is dying. He's afraid now and I want to go to him, I want to sooth him but I can't. If I stop chanting he will be torn apart by the energies I am summoning in the symbols than surround him.
Star is begging now. He's not begging me; or anyone in particular. He is just begging the ethers for release. "Please... please... oh no, no noooo... please, please."
There are tears pouring down my face but I have to keep my voice level; my mind clear. The energies are whipping around him, licking at his body and if I let them go now...
Slowly the spell unfolds and the energies unleashed by it are brought under control. It seems to be taking such a long time. Why is it taking such a long time?
It is with enormous relief that I reach the last page but when I reach the end there is real regret because now I have to look at him.
