Fallen

To sleep in the arms of one you love. What joy is that! I look down at Sacha's sleeping face and cannot help but smile. The joy shines from him and reflects in my own heart. I cannot say that I love him. I cannot say that I ever will. Perhaps it will come. Perhaps we will, all three of us, come to share love in this way. Hel knows my bed is big enough for three. It has never seemed so big as now when I realise how empty it has been.

I think of Chancey and Ara, asleep in each other's arms. I think of David and Pen, whose love I really have only now begun to recognise. I think of Aqua who seems suddenly to have brought love and light into the lives of everyone here and I wonder if he will ever know it. I sigh heavily. If I am honest with myself it is he I want in my arms and, shockingly, I also want to feel his arms around me. It has been time before memory since I have submitted to any man and now I find myself not only prepared to, but longing for it.

My stomach twitches, almost uncomfortably, when I think of the way Aqua growled and clawed me, and I can feel his breath on my neck, smell his scent and see the light in those glorious eyes. The very thought of him sends waves of desire crashing within me and I find myself growing hard. Sacha stirs and sighs in his sleep and I carefully untangle our bodies. Sliding my arms into a silk robe I walk softly across the room and out into the cool corridor.

I wonder where he is and stand still for a moment, extending my senses. All through the house all I feel is contentment and peace. Everyone is asleep, but there is restlessness, disturbance. I follow it.

He's asleep. Not just asleep. David is with him, curled up in the next bed. That makes me smile and I pause to stroke his cheek and throat, sending him into a deeper sleep. I want no interruptions tonight.

It is almost as if he draws me to him with his presence. I am mesmerised by him and spend some time, simply staring into his face. He is breathlessly beautiful, perfect in every way. I am lost in him. Idly, I toy with his hair, running my hand through its silky softness. I trace his lips with the tip of my finger and he surprises me by letting them fall apart, allowing me to slip the tip of my finger into his mouth. With seeming automatism, he closes his lips around my finger and licks the tip... then he bites me, hard.

With a cry, I tear my finger away and look down, with shock, into his eyes, which are open and deadly cold. I have to smile: he is full of surprises. He's too weak to move and yet the passion in him is fierce and bright and exciting.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine," he spits out. "No thanks to you."

"I doubt that you feel fine, but you certainly seem better," I say, trailing my hand over his shoulder and noting with satisfaction the way it makes him shiver.

"I feel fine. Let me go." He tries to shrug off my hand, but he's not up to it.

"That's impossible."

"You lied to me," he growls.

"I have never lied to you."

"You said you wouldn't hurt me."

"Are you hurting?" He glares at me, his marvellous eyes sparking.

"No... not exactly."

"Have you felt pain since you have been with me?"

"No, but..." He is practically grinding his teeth with anger and frustration, a heady mix that smells so good.

"Then I have not hurt you, nor will I ever hurt you."

"I don't give a fuck. Leave me alone. Let me go."

"You know I am not going to do that, Aqua."

"What the fuck...? My name is not Aqua."

"It is now."

"Like fuck it is," h+e growls. "I have a name, a perfectly good name and I will not give it up for you or anyone else."

"You have such passion; such fire in you. It is glorious." And it's exciting me in such a sexual way I can hardly keep my hands off him. Would I be a bad man if I took him now, like this; weak and helpless, unable to fight me? Do I care?

"If I was able, I would spit on you."

Oh what a little spitfire you are, beautiful boy. "If you were able I would let you."

He glares at me, but there is a hint of something else in his eyes now. It is, perhaps, curiosity.

"Who are you?"

"I am your master, for now. Soon I will be you lover and then your partner for life."

He snorts. "You're fucking crazy. As if."

"You don't believe me, not yet, but you will."

"I don't know what you think is happening, but I can assure you that there is not the remotest possibility I am ever going to be your lover or partner and even less that I will call you my master." The words exhaust him and his eyes are growing heavy, but he is still fighting. My heart beats faster and my longing to kiss him is almost unbearable.

"It's what they all say to begin with."

"Do they?" He pauses frowning. "Who are 'they'?"

"My boys; my pets."

"Oh yes...you said I was your pet. Right. Think again."

"I have thought again and you are too good for a pet. Don't you remember? I told you that you are no one's pet. As soon as you are well enough, you will be moving into a suite near mine and you will be taken care of by one of my staff."

"One of your 'pets'?"

"No. Someone else, altogether."

"Fuck you. Fuck him." I smile at him and stroke his chest. He is so weak he can't stop me, although he actually manages to raise his hand. "Fuck off and leave me alone."

Still smiling, I move my hand lower and he growls. "Don't you fucking dare."

I dare. And then, I send him back into oblivion, with fire in his eyes and curses on his lips. Marvellous.

I am still feeling restless. I need release and I need it now. I want to take it with him, but he is too fragile. Slipping off my robe, I slide into bed next to David, taking him into my arms. He sighs and stirs blinking drugged eyes at me.

"I need you, David. I need you to please me."

He smiles openly. "Yes, My Lord."

With no further preamble David slides down and takes me into his mouth. This time he is fully aware of what he is doing, almost as good as Pen. I close my eyes and shiver as his lips and tongue play over me. My mind drifts and the thoughts that lodge there are not conducive to pleasure or release.

Reaching down I tug on David's hair, not hard but he knows what I want. Obediently he slides up my body and kisses me. It is sweet. I manoeuvre him so that I am straddling him and he continues to stroke me as I rub my balls against his erection. He whimpers and I rub harder. His fingers falter and I slide out of his grip.

He raises his hips as I press against his entrance, and bites his lip, waiting for pain. I forget that some of my boys are inexperienced and it occurs to me that perhaps the experience with Pen in the bathing room was his first. I do not usually consider whether or not I inflict pain, it is not my concern but this time, with Aqua lying so close there is something in me that flinches from it.

Scooping precum from his throbbing head I rub in into his entrance, lubricating him carefully and preparing him with my fingers. I know he appreciates it because there is a new dimension to his moans.

I am surprised. I find the experience exhilarating: pleasuring him for no reason other than to please him. Of course I pleasure my boys before I feed but with the sole intention of heightening the pleasure of feeding for me. This time that is not the case. Although I intend to feed there is no intrinsic connection. I am here for pleasure and not just to slake my hunger in the best way possible for me.

Taken by surprise by my own emotion, I bend to kiss him while I am still sliding my fingers in and out of him, finding the place inside that makes him cry out. He is sweating and writhing and it excites me as it never has before.

"David, you are very beautiful and I want to please you." His eyes are closed and his lips parted and I flick them with my tongue. This time there will be no fear to flavour his taste and I anticipate it will be all the better for it.

David arches his back and I take advantage of it to lick the sweat from his chest and take one of his nipples into my mouth. He sqeaks and buries his hand in my hair, careful not to pull. He is holding back a little, afraid to displease me.

Taking my fingers from him I put my hands on his hips, massaging the soft flesh beside the hip bone. He is shaking with anticipation.

"Let go, David. Don't hold anything back. Just let go." He is breathing hard and opens his eyes to look at me. There is dazed puzzlement there as if he doesn't know what's expected of him. Moving my thumbs in little circles I move them down along his hip bones to rest over his femoral artery and send short bursts of rippling pleasure through him until there is no question of holding back.

When I enter him he is in a frenzy and locks his legs around me raising his hips to meet me. He is panting and grunting and his hair is wild around his head. When I lean forwards he claws at me with his hands and pulls me hard against him, kissing me with real passion, his eyes glazed with lust.

"Do you like this David, do you?" He can't answer and I don't expect him to. Raising myself again I close my eyes and give myself to the pleasure as it rises higher and higher until it explodes within him and I surprise myself by crying out my release. Of course it is not a complete release but I have trained myself well and the restraint is almost natural to me now.

Sliding out of him I find him still panting, still straining. While normally I would simply have taken what I needed from him and walked away, this time I lower myself to lie beside him and stroke his throbbing cock with light, teasing touches of my finger tips. He moans deeply almost sobbing with anticipation. I stroke his face with my other hand and he turns it towards me. I tease his lips in the same way I tease his groin and I feel his body throb with almost painful tension.

"Do you wish for release, beautiful boy? Do you want me to take you all the way?"

"Yes." He manages to gasp and I lower my head to cover his mouth as I grasp him firmly and give him his wish.

As he climaxes I take what I need from him and then take a few moments to kiss and caress him before leaving him awake and shocked.

Sacha is still fast asleep when I return and slide into bed with him, kissing him gently before taking him into my arms and falling asleep with the softness of his hair beneath my cheek.

At 10am the following day I make my way towards the transfusion suite. I have given instructions to Chancey that Bridge is to receive my blood every day until his sickness leaves him. The rooms here are small but comfortable. I insist on comfort wherever I am and I have taken pains to ensure even in my deepest callousness that my boys have nothing less.

He is asleep when I enter. Some of the boys, especially new ones, find this a traumatic experience. In the next room Mario is undergoing the process unconscious; as he has been from the moment he came to his senses and started to fight. Soon I will go to him and take the fight out of him, but now he is not even in my attention, which is all fixed on the sleeping angel. For many, the experience is a tense one; lying waiting for me with my blood dripping, drop by drop into their arm. I could, of course allow them to feed directly from my body, but that is something so deeply personal it is only shared with lovers and, in recent centuries only one other, one time. In all of this part of my life, I have never yet found anyone who is so relaxed during the procedure as to actually fall asleep naturally... until now.

Bridge wakes, as I lie beside him and stroke his naked body. He stirs and smiles sleepily up at me. He has accepted completely and I wonder again what life he must have led before.

"Will this really make me well?" he asks in his soft voice. I had not realised until now how beautiful it is.

"It will, in time. You are very sick."

"I know. I was waiting to die. I was careful though," he says quickly, anxious that I do not think badly of him. "I didn't infect any of my... of the men who..."

I touch his lips and shake my head. "That is over now. No man; no one will touch you in anger again. There will be no more bruises on your beautiful face."

"But I... I am afraid."

"There is no need to fear. No one will hurt you here."

"No, no," he says impatiently. "I didn't mean me. I'm not afraid for me, I trust you. But you... you drink my blood and..." He falters at the expression on my face which is utterly incredulous.

"You are afraid for - me?"

"I... yes, I..."

The smile that cracks my face has tears in it, tears I have not shed for many, many years.

"There is nothing to fear little one. You cannot hurt me. Certainly not with any sickness your body carries. I cannot be harmed by your illnesses and diseases. I am not human."

His eyes widen. "I'd forgotten."

"Forgotten? You had forgotten what I am?"

"No, not really but... I had forgotten you're not human. You're the most human person I have ever met."

I smile and touch his face. "Compassion is not confined to humanity little one. Sometimes I wonder if it touches them at all anymore. Relax now. Lay your fears to rest and begin to heal."

He smiles his bright, innocent smile as I begin his journey to ecstasy. For all that this body has been through, for all that it has done and had done to it, the soul it houses is innocent and strong. He is all beauty, within and without, and all this I taste in his blood. All this and just how sick he really is. Without me he would have died very soon. He would have been lucky to last the month. I am glad that, with all he has already given me and will give me in the years to come, I will be able to give him at least one gift, the gift of life.

He does not moan or cry out as I pleasure him. The occasional soft sigh is the only sign that he is feeling the pleasure I so badly want to give him. When I run my fingers over his hypersensitive head, releasing enzymes into it, he shivers and gasps, already close to release, but I realise this isn't enough, not now, not for him.

Releasing him I raise my hand to his face. His eyes flutter open and he looks at me with surprise and disappointment. I smile at him and bow my head to kiss him; he responds eagerly. Gently breathing into him I feel his shivering body relax deeply. Leaving him semi conscious I get up and remove my clothes.

Aware of his delicate condition I move his body gently and when I massage his entrance and let my finger slide into him he cries out for the first time, not in pain but in shocked pleasure. I make love to him slowly. Oh Hel; I realise suddenly, I am making love to him - love, caring, compassion and protectiveness. What is happening to me – Aqua, Sacha and now Bridge? Is it something in me that is changing? Yes, certainly. There is a shift, a melting of the ice around my heart that is making me more capable of love, of compassion, but it is more than that, it is fate sending me boys who are truly beautiful in ways I have never experienced before, boys who are easy to love.

Bridge murmurs something incoherent as I move within him. He had been so completely relaxed my entry was sweet and easy. I consider bitterly the difference between him and David; he is no virgin, far from it. I bend forward to kiss him and he shudders, as I breathe joy into him.

I know he is close and so am I. The pleasure I am getting from caring about him, really caring, is something I have never felt before. I sink my fangs into is neck and in moments I am dizzy with him. There is something... something beneath the sickness that tantalises but eludes me. His body heaves under me as the taste of his orgasm floods me, to the point of intoxication. And he doesn't make a sound.

It is a while before I realise that he has continued to struggle and that the struggling is getting weaker. I wouldn't have noticed at all if I hadn't tasted it, like smoke in his blood. I withdraw hurriedly and raise myself away from him. He is gasping for breath, his chest heaving and his eyelids fluttering, showing only a crescent of white beneath.

Damn. I should have realised that, in his weakened state he has no strength, no endurance and he is rapidly losing what little he has. Gently taking his face between my hands, I breathe softly into his mouth. He takes a deep shuddering breath and then it falls into a more natural pattern. I continue to breathe gentle intoxication into him, until his frantic heartbeat slows and, with a sigh, he relaxes.

My own heart is pounding when I realise how close I came to losing him; my own selfish blindness the sole cause of his peril. Lying beside him, I take him into my arms and he stirs fitfully. Blinking open his eyes he smiles his open, innocent smile and it almost breaks my heart.

"Thank you," he whispers, simply and tears spring to my eyes.

"But I hurt you. I almost... I could have..."

"I know," he smiles. "But you didn't."

"You... you felt it?"

"Of course I did. When I... when I was... coming down I felt... I could feel you drinking and it felt good but I was... I was so tired and I couldn't breathe. My chest hurt so bad, and I tried to push you away. I knew I was dying, but there was nothing I could do about it. I had no strength." He;d been looking sombre and thoughtful, but suddenly he gives me his quick, bright smile. "I trusted you. I knew you would know, that you would save me, so I just let go and you came."

The smile, the trust; the absolute trust shakes me to the core. He has no idea how many boys have died under my hands, some by accident and some by design. He has no idea... he trusts me. He trusts me with his life and I have the feeling that, even if he did know, he would still trust me. And now there are tears on my cheek.

"Don't cry,"he murmurs and snuggles in to me. Impulsively I hug him close and bury my face in the soft scented hair.

"What's your name?" I surprise myself by asking.

"Bridge," he murmurs, sleepily.

"No. I mean your real name; the one you had before."

"Bridge is my real name. I've never had a more real one. There is no before."

Stroking his hair, I feel him tremble. "Bridge," I say gently and he looks up at me, his eyes shadowed and wary. "What kind of life did you leave behind, to throw yourself so hard at this one?"

"No kind."

I watch his face close up and I touch it gently with my finger. He shudders. "You don't have to tell me."