I woke from a nightmare, finding myself wound up tight in the sheets-- one of those bad dreams where your own cries wake you. Les knocked at my door, asking if I was all right. I kicked the sheets, uncoiling my body, and told him I was fine.
"To see the world in a grain of sand," I said to myself. I knew what that meant now. William Blake was right.
God appears, and God is Light,
To those poor souls who dwell in Night;
But does a Human Form display
To those who dwell in realms of Day.
I stretched my arms and legs spread eagle, then kicked my feet, slap, slap, slap against the mattress. God, what freedom! I fluffed the pillow and smothered myself with it, then warmed my palms on the top of the quilt, rubbing them up and down, tracing the basket weave pattern in the quilt. All the simple tactile messages I'd missed, I now horded. The sun shining from the bay window baked me underneath like God's toaster oven, and I relished it. I used to hesitate to set foot on a cold hardwood floor-- now I couldn't wait for the experience. It meant I was alive and moving.
It is true. I appreciated life more, after all my agony. "Joy and woe are woven fine,/ A clothing for the soul divine."
While the pads of my feet were having their own little party on the floor, I heard the timid knock again and knew Les wouldn't leave.
When I opened the door to go downstairs, I freaked-- there stood Les with a dopey grin in pink bunny slippers, purple chenille bathrobe and orange polka dot flannels.
"You look like hell," he told me.
"Me?! I guess I didn't take you serious enough when you told me you wanted to run away and join the circus," I laughed. "All you need is a red nose and a unicycle-- "
He cleared his throat, raising his right eyebrow.
"I..." he began, bowing dramatically, "...wore this outlandish affair you bought for me in your honor--"
"But I don't think I expected you to wear them all at the same time," I suppressed a laugh.
"Yes you did?! Don't you remember?!"
"Yeah.. er, well.. ok... I guess," I stammered then turned tail and started down the stairs. He did the brotherly love thing-- he yanked my hair and pulled me back.
I turned around to do the other brotherly love thing-- tackle him to the ground, but I pulled back when he pointed down at his feet and leaned back on his heals, backing off.
"Hey, stop. See? Ah-h, the slippers are soft and squishy. You don't remember saying that to me, do you? You're the one who told me that! You can remember-- just try harder. You told me, 'These are the best-- they're soft and squishy and sure to make your toes curl.' Hey, and look! I'm curling my toes right now in shear comfort, but you can't see 'cause Mr. Bunny Wabbit's in the way."
I started back down the stairs. He followed behind me, saying, "Hop, hop, hop!"
"Back off Les! Shit, you're scaring me. You keep watching me like I'm some magician's white rabbit. I'm not going to friggin' disappear!"
"Well, excuse me for caring!"
"I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry I don't remember. Pink bunny, white rabbit-- I'm sorry! I'll be better after I had my coffee and use the bathroom..." I yelled, throwing up my arms.
I felt awful when I turned and looked into his face. He had that damn pouty bottom lip quivering, turning my heart to raspberry sauce. But I was glad I didn't take it back, especially after I heard him behind me in that lilting sing-song voice of his chanting, "Bunny hop, bunny hop, bunny hop, hop..."
Well, if you can't beat-- join 'em. I sang along with him on the way to the bathroom. "The Bunny Hop" echoed down the hall all the way to the bathroom. I turned around when I got to the door and waved bye to Les. At least he didn't hippity-hop on my tail into the bathroom while I was taking a piss.
After, I dried my hands, humming, and inspected my fingernails (which I still had), then opened the door and found him marching back and forth like a sentry.
The mood had changed. I felt like I had a fuzzy, purple body guard--
I decided not to say anything else smart ass to him. Hell, he was just concerned about me. I kinda wished he'd hop on my heals into the kitchen--
"Smells good. I'll have a cup of that," I said to Glenda with a yawn.
I sat down to the table-- and watched Les rub his chin and grin at me. Glenda sat down, warming both hands around her coffee mug. She looked at Les and smiled.
My coffee sat in front of me, and I stared down into it like it contained the mysteries of the universe.
"That's coffee, ya know," Les said. "It ain't tea leaves."
Maybe if I looked harder I could see my future.
Second thought, maybe I didn't want to look...
"Um, I need cream and sugar..."
They both jumped. Les pushed the sugar bowl over to me. Glenda poured cream in my coffee. She even stirred it for me. Made me feel kinda goofy and safe with both of them hovering over me.
"Thanks," I said. Glenda leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. Geeze.
"Hey, he's blushing. That's a good sign, don't ya think, Glenda?" I could feel my cheeks getting hotter, so I took another gulp of coffee to hide my face.
"What would you like for breakfast? I could make pancakes, waffles--" she bent her head to look at me. When that didn't work, she slipped her fingers under my chin and tilted my head up, catching my eyes, "--or maybe a bowl of cereal?"
"Cereal would be good. But if you don't mind, I'd like to take it upstairs."
She poured my cereal and set it down in front of me. I hated the disappointed look on her face. I decided to compromise and eat my cereal at the table, but I took my second cup of coffee upstairs and went back to my room to research anew.
Les still followed me, but he got the message that I wanted to be alone when I shut the door gently in his face.
