F Is For Fifth Wheel

Inspired by Sue Grafton's alphabetical series.

"No, that's all right. I don't have to go. You guys have a good time."

"Oh, come on, Roger! You can't sit at home on my birthday!"

He was right. Bobby Yeager had been my best friend since college, which seemed like way too many years ago and there was no way that I was going to get away with sitting at home on his 24

th

birthday. The problem: Bobby's lover, Gerald was in town for the festivities and our other friends, Reggie and Carsen were an occasional couple. That left me, the dreaded fifth wheel. Never heard of a fifth wheel? The fifth wheel is the poor, sad person that's left without a date. The fifth wheel was me.

"I'll be your date!" I heard Gerald's voice in the background and laughter followed.

"Tell Gerald that I wouldn't have any chrome left on my trailer hitch if I dated him." Bobby relayed my retort and the laughter was louder.

"He said to tell you that he's your designated trailer bitch tonight." Bobby snickered over Ma Bell. "Now get dressed, grab a couple of bottles and get your tight ass over here!"

"All right. I'm coming."

"Not without me!!"

I had already taken a shower so I raided my closet for a satisfactory outfit for Bobby. I didn't have too much to worry about because he had always maintained that I was a gay man who was still in the closet. I would walk into a mall and get a major hard-on. Hugo Boss was my favorite, followed closely by Armani but I selected a Tommy Hilfiger shirt and Ralph Lauren jeans for Bobby. He always raved about how my ass looked in jeans and since it was his birthday, I'd give him a little visual present.

I grabbed his present on the way out, stopped by the corner store for a case of cold asti spumante and headed over to Bobby's apartment. Gerald answered the door, his curly blond hair spilling over his face. He smiled brilliantly at me.

"Roger's here!"

A cheer went up inside and Carsen and Reggie grabbed my arms, ushering me into Bobby's abode. I accepted cheek kisses from all and asked Reggie to grab the case of booze from my car while I went to see Bobby. They had him sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen, a dunce cap on his head. He gave me one of his patented grins and hugged me tightly, kissing my ear.

"Took you long enough to get here."

"I had to pick out my clothes."

He threw his head back with a loud laugh. "You are so gay, Roger, but I love you any way!"

That was our private joke. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him until he squealed. "Happy birthday, bitch." I put my present in his hand.

"Thanks." He smiled at me, holding my hand as Gerald and Reggie breezed into the kitchen with the booze.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Pop those corks!"

Needless to say, we were all zonked when we headed out to the club. Out of twelve bottles, we had five left. Carsen broke into uncontrollable giggles as he proclaimed that there was 'one for each of us' and Bobby said that he hoped there was more than one. Gerald called a cab and we headed over to Siren to dance our asses off.

Siren was blazing when we arrived. The cab deposited us at the entrance awning and we were waved in by Carsen's brother, Conrad, the owner of the club. Conrad had arranged for us to have a private booth near the dance floor and bought the first round of drinks, although none of us needed any more. Techno pounded the club and I let Carsen, then Reggie pull me onto the floor, dancing like a madman. Bobby, however, proved that he was the man of the hour, by stripping to his Calvin Klein undies and parading around the dance floor. The four of us decided that it was time to take the baby home.

The cab ride back was silent as everyone was trying to catch a few winks. I surveyed the group, my heart full. Of course, Bobby was first, my greatest friend. He was nearly as tall as me at 5' 11" with wavy brown hair and green eyes. Gerald had been his boyfriend for two years and had black hair and blue eyes. Reggie was the minority of the gang with his semi-sweet chocolate skin and dark eyes and Carsen was his mirror, blond-haired and blue-eyed. Reggie was the building super at the first apartment that Bobby and I shared six years ago and had remained a friend and Gerald and Carsen had been incorporated into our merry clan. Carsen was a late-comer but he fit right in.

"Come on, guys! We're home!"

I was really happy that the cabbie was patient while I helped my inebriated partners out. I gave him a fifty dollar bill. Or maybe it was a hundred. I wasn't sure. I was having a difficult time focusing. It didn't matter anyway. It was Bobby's birthday.

"Present time!" Gerald proclaimed, snapping a hat onto my head. I laughed and took the horn he gave me, tooting like I was insane. Reggie handed out glasses of asti and Bobby took his bar seat throne. Gerald handed him the first gift from Carsen. It was a coffee table book of Mapplethorpe's pictures. Everyone

oohed

and

aahed

over the pictures of naked men. The artistic value was lost on our drunken crew. They were staring at dicks and nipples. I found myself drawn to asses.

Conrad's gift was a $500 bar tab. Carsen and Reggie gave him a Steve Walker canvas print and Bobby just sighed as he gazed at it. I gave him my present. He was speechless, tears brimming, then dripping from his eyes.

"Oh, my God!" Carsen exclaimed. "It's a Lacroix!"

Gerald took the watch out of its container and strapped the Calendrier Retrograde on his lover's wrist. Bobby nearly leaped into my arms. "Oh, Roger! It's beautiful!"

I hugged my friend tightly. "Well, you were bitching about not having a watch a few weeks ago."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect this!"

Everyone laughed. "That's okay." I filled my glass again. "Since I don't have a girlfriend, I guess you're the next best thing."

Bobby grinned. "Yeah, but that's not fair! I don't get any perks!"

"Night's still young." Reggie quipped.

Gerald's present was the last and best. He got down on one knee and offered Bobby his heart with a two-carat marquise diamond in a platinum setting. I found myself sandwiched between Reggie and Carsen, the three of us bawling like queens. Of course, Bobby said yes. So a birthday celebration became an engagement party. And we decided to finish the remaining asti. It was late when I figured out that I was too fucked up to drive so I did what I always did. I shucked off my shoes and crashed on Bobby's bed, sliding into a deep sleep.

* * * * *

I was having a fantastic dream. A beautiful woman with piercing green eyes was on her knees, sucking my dick with an artistry I'd associate with oil painting. Long, slow strokes, then quick, detailed stabs that outlined my pee hole and the crown of my head. Something was wrong.

I fought my way to consciousness and was mortified to find Bobby with my rock-hard prick in his mouth, lovingly licking it while Reggie drilled him from the back. Carsen and Gerald were in a passionate 69 just inches from my head and Gerald reached out and grabbed my hand. My eyes were drawn to Carsen's thick prick, the head of which hovered just over Gerald's mouth. Gerald pumped the thick flesh with his hand, moving faster until Carsen stiffened and groaned and I watched in fascination as cum jetted into Gerald's waiting mouth.

Just then, Bobby moaned and the vibration hummed down my spine to my now-curling toes. I wanted to tell him to stop but I couldn't. It felt too good. Bobby looked up and our eyes met, just as he pulled back and licked the head like a lollipop. I exploded. Bobby tried to catch as much as he could and it was the most sensual thing I'd ever seen, followed by him turning to Reggie and sharing his mouthful of my jizz.

Carsen swung his body around and licked the remaining cum from my stomach and I moaned at the sensation. He smiled and leaned over my face. I jumped when his mouth touched mine, only because his lips were so warm. I guess I had expected something more masculine, hard and chapped, but Carsen's were far from it. His tongue silkily slid down the seam of my mouth, opening my lips and plunging inside to plunder me. My whole body shivered with the gentle passion of that kiss and I gave myself to it.

"Good kisser, isn't he?"

I hadn't even noticed that Reggie and Bobby had finished. Reggie had lain down behind me and he began to stroke my back lightly. My best friend was noisily French-kissing Gerald on the other side of Carsen. "Yes, he is." I said breathlessly.

"Want to see what else he does well?"

I guess I nodded but I didn't remember. Carsen climbed over me and bent to take Reggie's semi-hard cock in his mouth. Again, I was hypnotized by the sight of a man's mouth on another man's penis. And Reggie had the largest penis I had ever seen, long and thick like a muscular chocolate log. Suddenly, I wanted a taste. I moved down beside Carsen and gave the dark skin a tentative lick. He had cleaned himself after being with Bobby so the shaft was tasteless. But Carsen tongued the head and I saw a crystal of pre-cum attached to his lips. I pressed my mouth onto Carsen's, sucking his tongue and the pre-cum into my mouth. Carsen moaned softly.

"Do you want me?"

I should have left then. I wasn't gay, was I? I was a full-blown heterosexual with a full date book.

Then why was this turning me on so much?

I didn't want to answer the question because deep down, I already knew the answer.

Instead, I kissed Carsen again, weaving my fingers into his soft curls. "Yes, I want you." I turned to Reggie. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Reggie bit my shoulder playfully. "Just don't forget the favor."

Carsen smiled and grabbed my hand. "Come on. As much as I like this orgy, I think we should be alone."

"Thank you." I didn't know if he heard me because Bobby and Gerald were whooping so loudly. We went down the hall to the guest bedroom and he closed the door, while I sat on the bed. Suddenly, I was so nervous. "Carsen, I have to tell you something." I took a deep breath. "This is my first time."

"I thought so." Carsen sat next to me, touching my arms and legs, shivers rippling through my skin. "Don't worry, sweetie. You run the show. Do whatever you want."

I leaned forward and kissed him for that. That kiss turned into another longer kiss and then we were passionately kissing, our bodies rubbing against each other. I couldn't seem to get enough of his sweet mouth. I wondered if the rest of him was as sweet. I pushed him onto his back and pinned his hands above his head, then bent and nuzzled his neck. He hummed with pleasure. I moved from his tasty neck to his nipples and he moaned so loud that it startled me. I kept him pinned, straddling his writhing body and licking, sucking and biting his super-sensitive nipples.

"Oh, God, Roger. I love this!"

"I'm just getting started." I whispered, nibbling his ear. I took his hands and wrapped them around the bars in the headboard. "Don't let go."

Carsen's blue eyes deepened to indigo with passion as I kissed my way past his nipples and over his flat stomach. He whimpered as I placed open-lipped kisses along his waist, then wetly nibbled down the inside of one thigh and up the other. His boyish penis flexed in response and I paused to examine him. His slender shaft was capped with a delicate head and his smallish nuts were covered in blond down. I was hooked. I kissed the tip gently, smiling at his moan, then parted my lips and slid him straight into my mouth.

"Oh, yes." He whispered. I shivered at the sound of his voice and pushed down again, doing what I would want someone to do to me. I waggled my tongue around the head, pressing against the tender underside on the upstroke. Each stroke brought a moan from him, deep and plaintive and as he neared the edge, I had to hold his hips still. "Roger, oh, Roger! I'm so close."

I didn't care. I was loving the taste of his pre-cum and now I wanted to taste his sweet cum. I moved faster, tightening my mouth around his hard meat. He was panting my name, his grip white-knuckled on the wrought iron headboard. He was hanging on for dear life, his eyes closed, his body taut. "Give it to me, baby."

"Oh!" His long, drawn-out exclamation accompanied his ejaculation. The first warm gob hit the back of my throat so I didn't get to taste it, but the next three landed squarely on my tongue. He was salty and sweet, with just a slight hint of lemon-lime. I swallowed every bit. "God, Roger, that was the best."

"Really?"

"Really." He murmured dreamily, sighing at the aftershocks. His eyes opened and he raised his arms. I came into them, relishing the feel of his body against me. "I could easily fall in love with you."

I found that I wasn't repulsed by his words. In fact, I was feeling the same way. "What about Reggie?"

"He's just a good friend. We have sex from time to time but we're not a couple." His hand slid down and found my cock, giving it a squeeze. "Why? Are you interested? In me?"

I didn't like the way he said, 'in me'. I had the feeling that he didn't know how wonderful he was and I knew that I wanted to take the time to find out. "Yes. In you." I kissed him again, gathering him into my arms. He melted into me, my captured prick still in his hand. He broke the kiss and reached over, opening the nightstand's drawer and removing a tube of lubricant and a condom.

I took the lube and applied a generous amount to his pink pucker, then pressed my rubber-covered prick into it. He groaned, hooking his legs over my shoulders and laying his hands on my biceps. He was so tight that I nearly shot my load right away. I stopped and took a deep breath, trying to think about something else. It worked for a minute. Until he flexed his hole around me. I growled.

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" He blinked innocently, giving me another squeeze. "This?"

I growled again. "Yes."

"What are you gonna do if I do?" He squeezed again, pulling me down for a hot kiss. "Give me a spanking?"

"Maybe later." I grunted. "But first I'll have to give you a good fucking."

He squeezed again, staring into my eyes and I lost it. I started pounding him, gazing into his beautiful eyes, feeling his warm flesh around me. He and I had become one. I pulled out, yanked the rubber off and sank back into his welcoming hole. We were skin to skin now and the feeling was incredible. I bent to take his mouth again and moaned when I felt him erupt between us, following with my own explosion, coating his ass innards.

We lay together for several minutes, my head over his heart, lulled into quiet. His fingers brushed my hair back from my temple, his fingertips lingering on my sweaty skin.

"Were you serious about what you said?"

His dancing fingers stopped. "About falling in love with you?"

"Yes." I lifted up, meeting his sleepy eyes. "I need to know."

"I'm very serious, Roger. We've been friends for so long ... I just never thought, you know, since you weren't gay."

"Well, maybe I am. Maybe I'm bi. I don't know." I cupped his cheek. "All I know is that I've loved you for a long time and I can't imagine you being with anyone else but me."

Carsen smiled and gave me a warm hug. "Music to my ears."

We spent another thirty minutes, cuddling and kissing, then rejoined Bobby, Gerald and Reggie. They were stunned at my transformation but were happy to hear that my first time had been a homerun. Reggie was a little sad to lose his fuck buddy but happy that Carsen was going to be with someone who would treat him well.

I smiled at him and said, "We still have to settle up on the bride price." His eyes met mine and I knew that he wouldn't mind being my first.

But that's another story.