This is utter bullshit. I barely hurt myself at all, the procedure was basically unnecessary, and the fact that I had to stay overnight wrecked a perfectly good camping weekend. FUCK.
As if that sack of shit isn't bad enough, I haven't been laid in about a week now, and I am hornier than I can ever remember being.
There are three other guys in this ward with me, and they're all passed out. That dude looks like someone freshened him up with a tire iron. That guy over there seems like he's having a bad day too.
I am so sexually frustrated that even that old fart with whatever is wrong with him, is starting to look like an option. I mean, maybe? The mustache is kind of hot.
They'll discharge me soon. They have to.
I smell like old sweat, because I was working outdoors when the accident happened and I still haven't had a chance to shower. There's a small bathroom off the ward, but I can't figure out how to take my stupid ass-flashing gown off while this drip is still in my arm and where the fuck are the nurses?
The clicker produces nothing. Fuck this shit. My drip stand has wheels, so I get up and unplug it. It starts making periodic beeps of disapproval as I drag it behind me out into the corridor. Where the shitting monkeyfucks is everybody?
And then it hits me. It's the middle of the night. I'm not sure what day it is. Maybe I got more fucked up than I thought?
I drag my drip stand down the corridor as I head towards the nurse's station. The lighting is low because it's night shift, but I don't get far before I'm intercepted.
"Woah buddy," the nurse says, "you're not supposed to be out of bed yet."
He's the most attractive human being I have ever encountered dear god I am horny.
Seriously, he's pretty hot. His hair is close cropped, with a slight fade. He shaved recently, but with a face like his, that doesn't mean much. He looks like a bad boy, and I can spot where he's taken his eyebrow piercing out - probably not allowed to wear it at work. That could go badly wrong near an MRI.
But it's his lips I'm staring at. They're so full, you know they'd be amazing to kiss, but oh how much I want to slide my cock between them.
"I really need to shower," I tell him, and suddenly I'm not shouty anymore. I'm actually just tired, and freaked out. "I'm not sure how long I've been out, but I smell really bad, and I just want to get clean, but I can't because of this fucking drip."
I hang my head. He can see how upset I am, and he's sympathetic. He puts his hand on my shoulder.
"You're up and about, which is great. Physio said we shouldn't push you the first day, but she wanted you to walk as soon as possible. So this means you're strong and you're healing well already - it's good news!"
Yeah, I was definitely more fucked up than I thought when I came in. It's coming back to me in pieces.
"I can't let you shower right now," he tells me, "because that dressing has to stay dry. But I'll help you wash up; there's a way I can pass the drip bag through the sleeve of your gown. It's easier than it sounds. Come on."
We head back to the ward, me still dragging the drip stand doggedly. He offers to take it from me but I'm not that fucked up yet god dammit.
We step into the bathroom. He begins running hot water into the tub, and locks the door for privacy.