Enduring

Five years was no time at all. Standing in the doorframe, Julian heard his heart racing in his ears and his teeth chattered with fear.

Tom.

Absent-mindedly, Julian's body peeled away from the cool comfort of wood against skin and he walked slowly to the top of the steps. His feet were in control now and he watched as they betrayed his intentions. Julian didn't want to see Tom; he'd spent the last five years actively trying to forget about this man. But his body wanted something different for Julian and so, he walked. One step after the other, until he came to the middle of the dark, wooden staircase and could see Tom. He's still so beautiful, Julian thought as he consumed Tom's visage, partially blocked by Arthur's own scantily clad body.

Tom's flawless, sharp jaw seemed sharpened by age with a light dusting of dark brown hair to match his winding curls and bright green eyes. Julian once remarked that, with his slender frame, the brightness of his eyes, and his ability to make quiet any stranger's discomfort with him, there was nowhere that Tom couldn't get into. And yet, here was Arthur, built strong and sturdy, disrupting Tom's pathway to Julian.

Another step followed one more. Like poisoned darts aiming at enemy flesh, Tom's eyes met Julian's once he was level with both men, feet planted on the floor. The air between them became so electric, neither one of them dared speak for fear of levelling the entire neighbourhood like an atomic bomb.

Arthur was the brave soul to dismantle the bomb and quell the energy.

"Julian, do you know this...person?" he said, voice calm, considered, and failing to hide his instant disdain of someone who could have this much undeniable energy with the man he dared to want.

"Yes, this is Tom. He's..." Julian's word suddenly failed him but Tom was quick to fill in any gaps.

"I'm his fiance," said Tom with a smile so bright and toothy, Arthur wondered if he'd suddenly stumbled into a toothpaste commercial. The words sunk in and Arthur's face fell to the ground, bringing with it his heart. He could barely recognise the words that followed from Julian's lips.

"We broke up, as you'll recall," said Julian, careful not to give Tom the satisfaction.

Julian was stuck, physically, between two men. His poisoned, desolate past and his potential future where planted seeds could bloom into trees that cast comforting shade on hot sunny days, provide fruits to give sweetness to bitter pills, and flowers for making a graying world more beautiful.

"Is that why you're still wearing my ring?" Tom pointed his skinny finger to the ring on Julian's left hand. Julian slapped himself with his other hand to cover him the ring but he could already feel Arthur's vision burning through his hand to see what he tried desperately to hide.

"So, y-you're...engaged?" Arthur said, losing his composure as the early morning air wafted between the three men and stalled right then and there.

"No, Arthur, it's nothing. It's just -"

"Yes, well after you've loved as hard as we have, I guess no other man can compare. Especially the way I'd have you howling like a rabid dog, right baby?" Tom said, clearly getting some erotic pleasure from seeing Arthur's discomfort and Julian's dismay.

Arthur snapped his gaze towards Tom and Tom tilted his head. "It seems you two have a lot to talk about so why don't you both just go?"

Julian could hear his heart beating in his ears again. He doubt it ever really stopped but the reality of seeing Tom in front of him after all these years made him deaf to anything else.

"No, I...I want to stay," said Julian, grabbing hold of Arthur's wrist and closing his eyes tightly as if getting ready to be punched. Arthur smiled and turned to Julian.

"If that's what you really want...baby." Julian could feel the warmth of Arthur's words and the tenderness of his hand against Julian's cheek. Arthur scooped Julian into his arms in an embrace so tender, so loving, so warm, Julian forgot there was a world around them. He closed his eyes and all he felt was Arthur. He wrapped his arms around the older man's broader shoulders and all he touched was Arthur. He inhaled Arthur's scent and an intoxicating mixturel of old books, body musk, and unfulfilled desire filled his nostrils.

"Well, would you look at that? Seems you found yourself a sugar daddy, Jules. Can't say I'm surprised. You were always good for being turned out, weren't you?" Tom chimed in and his voice was the nails on a chalkboard that draw the two men's attention back into the room. Arthur reluctantly let go of his young paramour's handsome figure and stepped towards Tom.

"I think it's time for you to go, young man. I suspect Julian doesn't want to speak with you anymore, do you, baby?" said Arthur, his eyes locked onto Tom's.

"N-n-no." Julian cleared his throat, stood up tall, and stepped forward to be closer to Arthur. He pulled the silver band off his finger and thrust it towards Tom's face in an open palm.

"Take it. You know why I was keeping it but clearly, that's what you came for." Julian placed his free hand on the professor's shoulder. For the first time, he saw Tom clearly. Not obstructed by Arthur's far-superior build or the front door. Illuminated by the sun's earliest rays, Julian could see that Tom was not slender but almost emaciated. His face was still as handsome as ever but his clothes hung from his frame, he had dark circles under his eyes, and, upon closer inspection, desperately needed a second pass with his razor to clean up his patchy five o' clock shadow.

"It's not worth much, though I'm sure you'll still try," Julian softened his tone and became filled with an emotion he'd never felt for Tom, one that seemed to cure him of any fear, longing, or residual affection for this man.

Tom snatched the ring, trying to play it off as cooly as he could. "He'll never be as good a lay as me. Old ass man." He snorted, shot Athur a look and then Tom disappeared down the stairs and turned down the street, heading to God knows where.

Arthur let out a long, loud sigh and turned to Julian. He smiled, Julian smiled, and both men crashed into one another, falling into a puddle of soft kisses on the floor. Julian held onto Athur tightly, his body seeking shelter from his past self that Tom dragged, kicking and screaming, into his sparkling clean life. Arthur felt Julian's longing and was comforted to know that the younger man needed the same thing he did. Julian was the first to come up for air, breaking the kiss but still tangled up in Arthur. He smiled boyishly, stroked the older man's grey hair that crested over his forehead and said, "So, I have some explaining to do."