I went to college in the Bible Belt, back when it could still be quite dangerous to be openly gay, bi, or anything but totally straight. I was mostly straight, but had enjoyed a few experiences with guys. Although far from being some macho jock, I still wasn't one to set off anyone's "gaydar".
I met Karl in the first few days of school. I had taken a "gap year", so he was year ahead of me, but the same age. We worked together at the college radio station, and bonded over our arcane knowledge and deep love of music, and it was obvious we'd be lifelong friends. Soon, we were taking late-night walks after the station shut down, drinking beer and smoking pot.
We would go on what we called "adventures". His mother owned the largest real estate agency in the area, so he had the codes to the lock boxes of all the houses for sale in town. Late at night, we'd go into empty houses and drink beer. We had to be fairly quiet, and no flashlights, or the neighbors might call the cops. But sneaking around in the dark was what made it fun.
Our friendship, and conversations, were opening up, so one night, sitting on a lush carpeted staircase, with only the streetlights for illumination, we started swapping sex stories. I asked who gave him his best blowjob. He hesitated for an uncomfortably long time.
"It was a guy, wasn't it?" I asked.
"How did you know?"
I told him it was a "birds of a feather" thing. There was something about him, and as soon as we met, I knew his door swings both ways. He said he had the opposite feeling about me.
We discussed how most guys have their first experience with another guy, usually jerking it with their best bud over a stolen Playboy. We began telling each other our sexual histories, and I explained that besides five women, I had, by that time, gone down on a total of four guys, and sucked each multiple times. I could see he didn't expect that.
"I wouldn't have thought... I mean, everybody... but you've really been learning how to driving stick..."
"Yeah, like you said, it started by jerking with my best friend, but the fantasy of sucking him off was too much to ignore, and he was into it, so I tried it once, and really liked it. After that, if an opportunity showed up, well, why not? I think the taboo aspect of it is a big part of what turns me on."
"And a lot more taboo down here than where you're from," he said.
"Yeah, but you can't tell me these good ole boys out here, hunting, camping? I bet there's a lot of guys round here, knocking back a few beers in a fishing boat, just two good buddies, then somebody says 'let's try it once', and one of the two finds out how hot it is to suck a cock. That's how it happened with me. But of course, you've got to hide it a lot more here. Bury it deep, at least till the fellas are alone n the woods again."
"Sorry, you just seem more like the one who would be getting head, not the one on his knees giving."
"A lot of people think that way, like giving head is weak or subservient. You've been with guys. Is that how you feel when you go downtown? Submissive?"
"Well... Kinda, yeah."
"That's too bad. I'm nobody's sub. For me, it's always been about how much it turned me on, not about serving him. Sure, the guy is getting off with what I'm doing, but I'm doing it for me. I'm never there thinking 'am I doing it right, is he enjoying it'. I'm too caught up in how it's pleasing me.
"From that first time, the first second I opened my mouth, what it felt like on my lips and tongue... If it didn't turn me on, I wouldn't have done it again. Hell, I probably wouldn't have finished what I was doing. See, when I go down on a woman, it's all about driving her crazy. I love to lick pussy because it turns me on to turn her on, to make her squirm, make her cum. I love that.
"But I'm not into guys that way; their pleasure doesn't excite me like that. I suck cock 'cause I enjoy it. The fact that a guy is attached to it, I really don't think of it much, even when I'm doing it.
"And the fact that I'm in charge, that I can make him cum fast or make it last, that's my choice, I'm the one in control. However long I want to keep going, it's for my excitement. And he better mind his manners and appreciate what he's getting; no pushing my head calling me a fag, or stupid shit like that. I'll nut tap him and drop him quick.
"No wonder women don't want to give blowjobs, with guys pulling macho crap like forcing her head down, calling them sluts and whores. You've got to be pretty dumb not to realize that when your dick is in someone else's mouth, you are not the one with the power in that situation. But the thing is, if a guy tries to get grabby, feeling all tough and trying to force them to do this or that... What he doesn't realize is, it would be ten times better if he would just sit back and enjoy the sensation. If he'd just relax and let them practice, maybe they'd start to really get into it, too, and everyone wins."