Over the next two weeks I went over my planned future conversation a billion times. It took me a full day to get past the thought of Elgin standing in front of me to actually focus on the words I needed to say, the questions I needed to ask. I knew I'd just want to touch him, but I needed to take it slow so he understood my real intentions.
I let him know when I was flying in and we agreed on a time to meet at Frost Manor. My flight landed in Manchester a little late and it took longer to get the rental car than expected. I hated running behind schedule especially with such nerve-wracking things to deal with in front of me.
It was pitch dark as I made my way up the bluff road to the house. I was still going to be on time to meet Elgin, so I was only half as nervous as I had been at the airport.
As I swung around one of the tight turns on the narrow road, my headlights lit up a pedestrian walking up the road in the dark. It was Elgin! I slammed on my brakes, hit the emergency blinkers and leapt from the car.
"Elgin! What are you doing out here in the dark?" I was panicked and nervous and confused and more and it all came out in my voice.
"Al?" He swung around to look at me. His eyes were huge and he looked so beautiful to me. He stood and stared.
"What are you doing?" I was now standing right in front of him. I felt like grabbing him and pulling him into my body but I kept my hands tight to my sides.
"I was walking up to the house to meet you."
"Why? Where's your car?"
"My mom needed it." He glanced at his feet, looking embarrassed, which felt foreign. He'd always been so open with me.
"Elgin?" It all caught up with me at that moment. He was right in front of me and my whole body was trembling with my overwhelming feelings for him. I needed to touch him, make sure he was real.
He looked right into my eyes, like he was looking for a sign or an answer to an unspoken question. I looked right into his gorgeous dark eyes and melted, my brain shutting down.
And then he was in my arms. I felt his tears on my chest, soaking through my thin shirt. I squeezed him tightly as my own tears started to fall.
Enough sense to realize we were in a dangerous place finally came back to me. "Come on, let's go home and talk." I led him to the passenger door and helped him into my rental car.
In the car he was looking at me, like he didn't believe I was real. I took his hand as I drove the rest of the way up to the house.
"You should have texted me. I could have just picked you up instead of nearly running you over in the dark." I tried to joke a little because my nerves were shot.
"I know. I wanted to figure it out myself, but I forgot how steep and narrow the road is. I've only driven up it in the last five years. I used to walk up here when I was a kid, and it was daytime." He trailed off since he was sort of babbling nervously.
I just smiled at him as I continued to hold his warm hand in mine. We drove down the driveway which was completely dark in front of the big, lonely house and I added it to my mental list of things to take care of here.
We finally made it into the dark building and turned on some lights in the grand foyer. When I turned to look back at Elgin, he looked incredible to me. He was so beautiful and he was in my house. Alone. With me.
He read the heat in my eyes and he leapt into my arms. His legs wrapped around my hips and his arms were around my neck. Our lips crashed together and I groaned into his wet, open mouth. I held him to me and kissed him with everything I had.
As I kissed him, I made my way down the hall, carrying my whole world in my arms. I finally got us into the living room and had him flip on the light switch. I sat down on the couch with Elgin in my lap.
We continued to kiss for a few more minutes, neither of us ready or willing to let go of each other. But I had to talk to him. So I finally pulled back and smiled at the sight of his glorious face.
"I missed you so much, Elgin." I ran my hands along his body, touching him, making sure he was really real.
"I missed you, too. I didn't think I'd ever get to kiss you again." He leaned forward and kissed me softly and then he snuggled into my chest, sitting on my lap where he fit so perfectly.
"Me neither. It took me a long time to get here." There were so many meanings to that statement. Today had been exhausting and long. It had been weeks and weeks since I'd held him and I finally felt happy and complete. It had taken me way too long to get here mentally and physically.
I felt myself relax as our bodies finally shared space again. Just being here with him, in the quiet house, holding him, it felt perfect. I hadn't felt this happy since before I'd left him behind. It was so easy to see now.
"I love being here with you, just like this." I whispered into his soft curls. His hair smelled like heaven to me and I caressed his soft curves without being too forward. I would talk to him first and then take my time with him later.
He nestled closer, his lips touching my neck. "I missed you, Al. I don't think I even realized how much." I understood exactly what he meant.
After another few minutes of holding each other, just soaking up each other's scents and presence, we finally pulled away from each other, enough to see each other's face.
He sat up against the arm on the couch, his legs still in my lap. I had one hand on his knees and he held the other in his hands, in his lap. It was time to talk.
"Elgin, so much has happened since I left here and I want to tell you everything. I don't even know where to start. My mind is racing." I shook my head, trying to clear the fog and get my thoughts together.
"Look at me, Al." He sounded calm and reassuring. I looked right into his eyes again. I loved those eyes so much. "That's better. I know you thought about this before now, so calm yourself and start at the beginning you planned."
"How do you know me so well? How did I ever think I could live without you?" I hadn't meant to say anything that loaded so early in this conversation, but there it was.
"I'm glad you couldn't because I don't think I can live without you either." He looked so calm when he said it. He really could be my anchor, even though he was so young.
Age didn't really matter. When you find your person, that kind of thing just doesn't matter. Elgin was my person. I was completely sure of that now.
"I guess this is the best place to start. I have so much to tell you, but first I want to ask you to be with me, as my partner. I thought we were too different and that we couldn't build a life together. It wouldn't be fair to ask you to be with me. But now I know the differences don't matter. Not when I need you so much."
I took a giant breath and blew it out, trying to gather my thoughts further. "I think we can make this work, but I need to know how you feel. How do you feel about me and being with me?"
"I love you. I have since I met you. I also didn't think it would work between us, but after you left, I thought I would die without you. I want to be with you. I really do."
