Down N Out

Please let me know what you think guys. I don't know if I should continue it or not. Thanks!

*****

It was useless to deny how his eyes of pure emerald melted me. Every kiss, every hug. All I'd remember is the warmth. And those damn eyes.

It was so easy back then. It didn't take any thought to know what I wanted. Him. And nothing else. My life was in a state of perfection, but it seems perfection can never last.

Everything was so skewed now. I just didn't know. It's so hard. I wanted to push on. I did. I loved him. But I simply had no clue what to do.

That day has branded my memory. The beautiful park, perfect temperature, and beautiful perfect him. We didn't care about the glances, we had each other. Two bodies on a blanket on the grass.

His head was on my chest and my arms were holding him. I had him safe. Secure. Tyler in my arms was just... right. And I would never let him go. Eventually, the sun began to shrink behind the trees. We had to go. I sighed as I sat up.

He gave me that look. That unexplainable perfect look. A grin shot across him as he placed his hand on my chest and pushed me back down, pressing his lips onto mine. My heart fluttered and seemed to stop. I wrapped my hands around his head and kissed him back as I began to sit back up.

Our arms wrapped around each other and our foreheads touched. His emeralds met my sapphires. I was paralyzed in his beauty. He was just so fucking perfect.

I let go of him, gave him another kiss, and stood up. I pulled him to his feet and slid my fingers into the perfectly made spaces between his. My legs bent as I crouched down to pick up the blanket. My hands spun the blanket into a ball.

I squeezed his hand and told him I loved him. He smiled as he pressed his head onto my chest. "I love you more," he whispered.

I bent down and pulled his head towards mine. "I'm always right. So I love you more. Sorry baby," I said with a laugh as I kissed his forehead.

We began to walk to my car. We were silent. Cherishing the presence of the other. The sunset gleamed in his eyes. We walked by the pond, the ducks quacking, ducklings waddling.

All of a sudden, he fell to the ground. I burst out laughing. "Did the air get you, Tyler? Fucking klutz." He wasn't getting up. Or moving. "Tyler?" I asked as I knelt down, concerned. I smirked as he moved slightly. "Very funny, asshole. Get your lazy ass up," I said, as I smacked his shoulder and stood up. Still. "Tyler? Tyler this isn't funny!" I smiled, trying to make this a joke. It was, wasn't it? "Baby? Baby get up! Tyler?!" I got to my knees and turned him over. His mouth was slightly open, his eyes wide open. Unmoving. My heart rate roared.

I pressed two fingers against his throat. His pulse, slow, breath faint. I started to cry, the fear was overpowering. My eyes shut as I held my head and forced myself to breathe. As they opened I had a clear course in mind.

I slid one arm under his upper back and another under his knees. I pulled him towards me and practically launched to my feet. I set off in a dead run. My legs carried me to my car at an inhuman pace. I punched the code into my truck and yanked open the door. I jumped into the drivers seat, him still in my arms. I put him in the passenger seat, yanked his seatbelt out and clicked it. I slammed my door. I dug into my pockets and yanked my keys out, throwing them into the ignition, starting the car. Didn't even give a fuck about /my/ seatbelt. I threw the transmission into drive and roared onto the street. I drove mad, scared, reckless. The drive is a nonexistent memory. All I know is that I arrived at the ER in minutes. Too many minutes it seemed. I put my truck in park, yanked Tyler into my arms, threw open the door and began to run before my feet touched the ground.

"Help me!" I screamed. "Please! I don't know... he just, he fell! He didn't move and... and... please!"

Some nurses ran into the room. They saw Tyler in my arms, unconscious. They yelled out numbers, codes. I didn't understand. A stretcher seemed to appear and he was out of my arms and on top of it. I didn't know if I was supposed to follow, didn't care. My beautiful, perfect love was... I didn't know what he was! Tears were pouring down my cheeks. My legs seemed to be still, as if I was floating along with the stretcher. They got him into a room. I ran up to him and grabbed his wallet from his pockets, opening it, eyes running around. My hands moved by themselves as I threw out his license, allergens card, insurance.

"Honey what's your relation with... with Tyler."

"I, he... we, I, we, but," I mumbled to myself.

"I have to know sweetheart," she pressed me.

"We, I... boyfriend."

"I'm gonna have to ask you to leave hun. Family only, unless they come and vouch for you. It's the rules. I'm sorry sweetheart."

"But... but I love him! Tyler, he's, love him, but him but love. I... I," I said as I panicked.

The nurse put a hand on my shoulder. "He's in good hands sweetie. Please, you have to go. Have his parents been notified?"

"N... no. I've got their numbers. I'll do it. Please. I love him!"

"He's gonna be ok. Please, leave."

"I, but... ok. Ok. Ok." I ran from the room and somehow made my way through the sterile hall labyrinth. I flew into my truck and pulled it out of the ambulance driveway, into a parking lot. I turned it off and suddenly everything was into focus. I wiped my wet face as the sobs continued. They stopped what seemed like hours later, probably seconds.

I pulled out my phone and dialed his mother. The greeting alone told her that something was wrong.

"Um... well uh Tyler and I... well um he's, we're... we're at the ER," I managed to squeeze out as I began to cry again. She asked what had happened. Being unable to answer wracked me with guilt and pure fear. She said she'd be there as soon as she could and we hung up.

I opened the car door and slid out. I ran my hands through my hair as I looked towards the sky. The beautiful strands of pink and orange winding over the horizon was complete irony to the ugliness of the situation. I headed back off to the ER waiting room. I collapsed into a chair and buried my head in my hands as tears continued.