"Hey Brandon wanna hang out with us?"
It was the girl with the weird orange hair. I couldn't recall her name. She and a few of my other dorm mates were gathered round the television in the common room. I was just passing through from the showers.
"Um..thanks..er..."
"Jill." she giggled. "We were just going to watch the SciFi Friday line up. Your welcome to hang out with us."
"I would love to," I lied taking in the assemblage of out casts. They didn't call this 'The Geek and Loser Dorm for nothing. I fit right in. "but, I have a ton of homework to catch up on."
It did feel good that they seemed to want my company. I wasn't used to that.
I finally disengaged myself from my roomies, towel drying my hair as I went.
When I was in the privacy of my own room, I dropped the bag of toiletries and eagerly checked my cell phone.
No new messages.
I really did have homework and figured I might as well get started on it.
I was feeling a bit depressed. My boyfriend Dan was attending a party tonight. He was a big man on campus and one of the star players on our school team. All the pretty and popular crowd would be there. I hadn't been invited.
Dan told me that he really didn't want to go. He insisted that he'd rather hang out with me. He claimed he felt he should go because the party was being held in honor of the team's last big win. The invite list was like a page from the campus 'Who's Who'. I wouldn't fit in with that crowd at all.
No one knew that Dan and I were an item. Dan wanted to keep our relationship on the down low until he worked up the courage to come out to his family. We confessed our feelings for each other our senior year in high school and only just recently began having sex...if you can count quick covert make-out/hand job sessions sex that is. He'd never even been up to this dorm to see me. He did take me once or twice to see the house he and his brothers rented near campus.
Dan's place was always full of his team mates, family, and friends so we were always on our guard to be careful not to let our affection for each other show.
I was beginning to feel like a dirty little secret. What was I thinking getting myself involved with someone way out of my league. I was untimely going to get my heart broken. I felt it every time we had our clandestine little meetings. Even if the people in his world accepted the fact that Dan was gay, they would never ever except me. I was getting sick of the hiding and the stress (not to mention the jealousy) of having to be kept separate from his social life.
I vigorously began drying my hair with the towel before breaking out the books. It was still wet and dripping down my neck and back. I was at least grateful I didn't have a roommate for the weekend. Since no one was around to nag me about keeping things neat, I tossed the damp towel toward the only chair in the room. I missed, but I didn't give a shit. I was dressed in nothing but a tan pair of pajama bottoms stamped property of the VA.
While I was pulling books and papers from my knapsack, someone knocked on the door.
I figured it was Jill or one of the other dormies letting me know the pizza they ordered had arrived and perhaps wanted to offer me some.
I was stunned when I pulled open the door to see Dan standing there.
My heart began to hammer in my chest as it always did when I beheld the man of my dreams. He looked self-conscious and a lot nervous to be calling on someone in the famous 'Geek and Loser' dorm, but he was here!
"Hey," he greeted me looking fine all dressed up for a party. I noticed Jill and company craning their necks around the corner of the hallway to get a better look at my guest. I also noticed Dan was carrying a single red rose. No doubt from one of his many adoring female fans or worse perhaps from Ric Cornell the only other guy he'd ever dated besides me.
"Can I come in?" he grinned at me in his lopsided way. That smile could make me do anything he wanted.
"Sure, man." I stepped aside so he could enter. I played it like he was just a good buddy coming to call. It would be believable for the school jock to call on a nerd for homework answers.
"I thought you were going to be at the party?" I hadn't meant to be sarcastic, but that's the way it come out. "What are you doing here?"
"How fast can you get dressed?" he was gawking around my room taking everything in. I could tell he found it unacceptable.
"Why?"
Dan took a deep resolute breath and looked me straight in the eye. Chills shot up my spine.
"Your coming with me to the party."
Had he gone mad?
"I wasn't invited." I reminded him gently.
"I'm bringing you as my guest." Two bright red spots glowed in his cheeks and he suddenly had a fevered look in his eye. "I think it's time everyone found out our true relationship!"
He strode over to the wardrobe and began pawing through my clothes.
"I hate it that you think I'm ashamed of you and I'm so sick of pretending to be someone I'm not. It's time that every one knew the truth and what better way than to just do it!"
Wow!
I was speechless for a moment.
He suddenly remembered he was still holding the flower. He handed it to me with another of his grins. My heart twisted in my chest.
"For you."
No one had ever given me a rose before. Not even a girl.
"I don't know if I have a vase (I pronounced it the snooty sounding way) to put it in."
I made a show of looking around the place for a container of some sort. I joked around so he wouldn't see the tears that suddenly sprang to my eyes. I couldn't believe this was truly happening. He was choosing me over them. He was ready to stand up in front of everyone and declare that he and I were a couple. I was also touched by the small token of his love that he'd brought so openly in front of my dorm mates.
"Don't worry about it now." Dan's voice was soft. "It has a little vial of water to keep it alive for a while. Throw it on the dresser and help me find something for you to wear."
I realized that I really didn't want to go to this party. I was comfortable in what I was wearing. I didn't feel up to the happy chatter of Dan's friends or dealing with a mob scene when he announced to everyone that I was his boyfriend. I wanted us out, but not this way.
I had been after him to call a quiet family meeting with his folks and letting them know he was gay. After that he could tell them about us. If they wanted to have me over to get to know me better that would be fine. Then we could deal with our peers. I didn't want to just show up this party and stir things up.
I turned around and for the first time since he arrived placed my hands on his hips and pulled him over to me.
"Dan, I'm glad you want to let everyone know about us, but I don't want to do it this way. I'm not up to a party. I think that you should still get your parents together and tell them first before we tackle your brothers and friends. It will be so much better that way. I also want to thank you for the rose. That was sweet."
Dan placed his strong arms around my neck and leaned into me for a kiss.
"I can't stand being away from you. I hate leading a double life. I want you by my side, sharing with me all the victories and defeats that come to any couple. I want the world to know that your not only my best friend, but the one I love. I want to just go out tonight and get it over with."
I wanted it over with too, but not tonight. I wanted him all to myself and hoped he didn't really want to go to that stupid party.
My mother always grumbled that men were easily manipulated by the part of their anatomy that made them male. I decided to test that theory. This would be the first time we could truly be alone.
I pulled him back to me and kissed him again.