Doctor and Patient Confidentiality

It was rare in the industry to employ a full time sex counselor for men and women who were addicted to sex. To be treated by an older male than his clients normally were.

Dr. James Newcomb was a distinguished looking man. Tall, about 170 pounds, intense blue eyes, salt and pepper hair, and a body maintained by gym workouts three times a week. Dr. Newcomb was married over 30 years now, and his wife and he had three children, twin boys who were 15 years old. There daughter was 11 years old

His wife Grace did not work, as James profession paid him an astonishing salary. James was shocked when his yearly income exceeded six figures, but was good at his job and a good husband and father. He was an orderly man.

The clients who wound up in James office were very complicated individuals. James heard often their stories of shame, regrets, total lack of self control, cheating couples, paid escorts whose working lives were ending as age took it's toll on their bodies. He took none of this home or ever got involved emotionally with any client.

That was unethical and unprofessional. He was a man of decency and moralistic values.

His new client was a good looking man in his mid-thirties. His wedding ring shone on his tanned finger. He was dressed in a grey suit and had dark black hair combed back. He was a handsome man married to his childhood crush, a sexy girl named Mary. Her husband's name was Tony Ulrich. The couple was childless.

The first of the Doctor's observations was that his wife was not with him. Normally, married couples were helped in sessions together. This practice generally repaired mangled relationships induced by sexual misbehavior.

They shook hands, introduced themselves and sat apart across a small mahogany desk. James spoke first.

"How can I best help you Mr. Ulrich?"

"Just call me Tony, OK?"

"Fine, call me Jim. The easier people talk to each other the more comfortable and revealing they can be. The reason or reasons you are here today have been ongoing and serious in nature, usually for long periods of time. Would that description be true of your situation Tony?"

Tony was clearly uneasy. Jim decided immediately to change his approach as Tony blushed and muttered "yeah, pretty much I guess."

Tony's body was in turmoil. He was scared to death. He did not want to be here. His presence was demanded by his wife. If he did not do this, she would leave him and divorce could be in his near future. He felt a huge amount of shame and a fear not only of today, but the tomorrow's that would follow.

"Doc, er Jim, I'm in terrible trouble. I don't know where to start. This feels awful."

"Your honesty Tony is admirable. The less you hide over these sessions the better I can help you. To hold back just beginning is likely to get you nowhere. I hate to see patient's make that mistake and pay the high costs of these sessions then disappear before a month or two passes."

The doctors soft spoken words eased some of Tony's distress.. His face brightened a little bit, and he made eye contact with Jim.

He sighed audibly. "Your right Jim. I'm relieved that you told me that. I feel like I'm living in a prison and only I can see the steel bars, alone in a cell." Tony's hands were shaking.

"How long have these impacted feelings of isolation, or being so different from other people rob you of living a normal, reasonably happy life Tony?"

The soothing tenor of the doctor's voice was empathetic, and sincere. Tony calmed down a little bit, but he could not look directly at JIm.

"I would say at least three years now, maybe longer."

"Was some radical change in your sex life with your wife also as long as you just said?"

"y.. yes"

"What happened Tony. Were you caught cheating on your wife? Did you stop being attracted to her physically?"

"No I did not cheat on her. She says I did. She's a very pretty woman, and she knows it."

The doctor sensed it was going to be extremely painful for Tony to tell him exactly what was going on.

"This secret seems to be eating you alive from the inside out. The pressure you are living with is abnormal and could lead to a severe depressive episode that will make a bad situation even worse."

Tony's eyes were wet. He felt he would explode and storm out of this office and just accept that his marriage was history. Oh he was fucked. Royally fucked he thought.

"Do.. Jim about 3 or 4 years ago I began having intense sexual dreams. I.. I thought about my wife fucking other men while I watched. She would never do something like that, but I wanted her too. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"You have the same dream countless men have Tony. Married men get bored with vanilla sex that has no real passion. Lust was something a couple feels before they live together for some time. Life becomes a series of daily or weekly rituals. Sexually a man's mind wants to see wild, uninhibited sex from the woman he married. More pure lust rather than just emotional love. Your only one of thousands of men I've seen over the years admit this to anyone else but themselves, Your in the stage of your life where reality is fighting fantasy. Tony, fantasy wins that fight all the time."

A long silence ensued. Tony was not shaking now. His eyes were dry. Jim sensed he might be ready to open up soon. He hoped so. He did not like seeing any of his clients suffer. Life is just so damn hard on most people.

"Jim, I had more wicked thoughts than the one I told you. What you said opened my eyes, and I realize I'm not some kind of freak."

"Did you ever talk to you wife about this fantasy Tony."

"I tried once. It led to a horrible fight. She was beyond angry. I thought we were done really."

"Did you two have sex again after this blow up Tony?"

Another loud sigh. The kind that expels some of the tension in a person. A small sign of honest communication.

"Yeah, about a month later I guess. She came home early one night and told me she was so sorry, she should not have gone crazy like she did. She was pissed off because she loves me, and would never have sex with another man. So we started kissing and wound up in bed and had great make up sex."

The doctor smiled. "and life goes on and the woman is happy again huh?"

"well, just for a little while Doc, er Jim."

"Can you tell me about any of those wicked thoughts you mentioned before Tony?"

His face turned beet red. His eyes were glued to the carpeted floor. His words came out in a flat monotone voice.

"Jim... I dreamed about" he shifted his body in the chair "about being with another man, and giving him a blow job."

The dam broke and Jim hoped Tony could now start feeling some measure of comfort. Their sessions were confidential and protected by law.

The doctor spoke in a totally non-judgemental tone.

"Tony, that kind of dream is way more prevalent in men, married or not, in engaging in homosexual activities. The truth is Tony, probably every one born with a penis is going to think about at some point in their lives. It's not uncommon to think this way.

"I have to ask you - did you act on this fantasy and have homosexual sex with a man?"

Tony's face was stoic. His body language did not change. He looked directly at Jim.

"Yes I did. I did it"

"What did you do Tony"

"I went to a gay bar and began talking to a guy around my age. We had a lot of drinks together, and he told me it was the first time he had done something like this. He said "don't take this the wrong way Tony, but my wife won't give me head, and I came here trying to find a guy who might suck my cock. I want that really bad."

Jim was laser focused on Tony's body language, voice inflections, looking for any hint of Tony's turmoil to run and hide inside himself again. This was a remarkable session for the honesty of the doctor and his patient. If only Tony could realize this.

"OK, what did you say then Tony?"

"I told him that I would... that I wanted... to suck his dick."

"Where did you to go after that Tony."

"We left the bar and got in his car. He drove to a park, to a dark secluded area and parked there. He dropped his seat back and told me to do the same. I was nervous but was so - so excited at the same time."

"Go on Tony, your doing just fine. No judge is in this room. Just you and me."

"The guy smiled at me and pulled his pants down to below his knees. He was naked and his cock was really big." Tony's eyes were now glazed. "It must have been 7 inches long and stood up straight, like a flag pole. The head of his dick was big and looked a little purplish which surprised the hell out of me. I could not help myself Jim. I reached over and held his warm smooth dick in my hand, and I started stroking it."

"Were you still fully clothed Tony?"

"Yeah, I was. My dick was hard as a rock though. I wanted to do this Jim."

"Sexual arousal overpowers almost every emotion there is Tony."

He seemed a lot calmer thought Jim.

"Sure as hell does. I could not take my eyes off of it. I never, never realized how beautiful a man's hard cock really is Jim. I was hypnotized as I was masturbating this guy, He said "that feels really good. Do you like this?"

" I told him I did. I told him I wanted to blow him right here in his car, He smiled and said "Do it please, suck my dick. I'm so horny I'll never tell anyone, I promise."

"Then I leaned over and could smell his man flesh, and touched the tip of his dick with my tongue. It was warm, smooth and very soft. His shaft felt hard as iron. I kissed his dick... and I slid some of it into my mouth and started to lick it with my tongue."

Tony fell silent. Jim waited before he spoke again..

"How did you feel doing this Tony. Were you glad you were doing something you had thought about doing, and now it was real and you had a man's penis in your mouth?"

Tony's eyes had a far away look.

"It felt so dirty and sexy. Men aren't supposed to suck each other's dicks. But I wanted to, and I felt free... that I really liked this, and just got more excited as I realized I was blowing a guy, and... I was going to make him cum in my mouth. I had tasted my own cum before, and it tasted a lot better than I thought it would. I bobbed down and up his cock and this guy was moaning "fuck suck that dick your mouth feels so good, make me cum cock sucker."

"When he said that and called me that name... it turned me on even more Jim. Not long after that he put his hand on the top of my head and pushed my mouth down deeper on his cock. I thought I would choke but he let me up a couple inches and his cock started pulsing, then throbbing, and explosed in my mouth. I was thrilled, I absolutely loved a man's dick shooting cum in my mouth. I swallowed almost all of it, and I felt, some kind of elation. I had really done it. And I fucking liked doing it too."

Jim allowed the pause to go on for a few seconds.

"Did that man ever touch you penis Tony."

A long delay ensued. Tony whispered "no, no he didn't"

"How did that make you feel Tony?"

"I really didn't care. I realized something when his cum slid down my throat. I thought this was wonderful. I felt really good about this. And... I knew I really wanted to do this a lot more now."

"Did you Tony"

"Yes. Many times I went back to that bar and would go with a man in his car, or get a hotel room. One time a man took me to a gay bathhouse and I went fucking crazy."

"You were filling a hidden need that gave you joy, a sexual joy Tony."

"Your right Jim. I would still make love with Mary sometimes, and she told me I seemed distant, what was wrong. I lied to her and just said work and worries gave me a lot of stress, I knew I had not been myself for a while."

"Were you going to keep these secrets and not tell her Tony."

"Absolutely. If I was really careful no one would know what I was doing. No one. I kept doing this and now wanted it more each time I did it again. It's all I could think about."

:"Tony what do you consider yourself - a bisexual man, or a total homosexual man?"

Tony pondered this question. The doctor could not see the erection bulging in Tony's pants due to the angle of the desk. He did feel IMMENSE relief talking about his sexuality. This guy was not judging him. He liked Jim.

"I like the dirty words Jim. I am a cock sucker. A cum lover. A fairy. A queer. A faggot is what I liked to be called best. It turns me on when men tell me to " get down and suck my dick faggot" And I do it. It makes me feel good. I like it."

"Tony I'm so happy for you. It's dangerous for your marriage. You don't have children. No one at work or your friends know about you new sexuality. But unprotected sex can lead to awful things Tony. You must be more careful and not be with so many different men."

"I know Jim. I'm going to try to calm the hell down. I just lose my mind sometimes I think."

"This is a good place to stop for now Tony. Can you come back next week and see me again?"

"Yeah, I would like to. I feel a lot better now then when I came in here."

"I'm happy for you Tony. Try to make things better with your wife. What that might be I don't know. See my receptionist on your way out and make an appointment. I'll be glad to talk to you more Tony."

Both men stood up, and the shook hands. Tony left and closed the door behind him.

Jim could hear their voices in the waiting room and sat down at his desk. His cock felt like bursting, and next week will be very interesting. There are sometimes perks in his profession. He wondered how good Tony's mouth had become and his instincts told him that would be excellent.

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Tony drove slowly and decided to park his car and just sit there and think. His confession to the Doctor was terribly painful, the shame he felt for his actions was a weight that felt a little lighter now, since he told another human being without being judged or ridiculed.

He closed his eyes and thought about the gay sex if the last couple of months.

When he was at the gay bar or the bathhouse he was always in a state of total sexual excitement. His brain did not care but he realized he gave tremendous pleasure to strange men, and sometimes he was fully clothed, other he was naked and his dick was rigid but for some reason Tony did not need to be touched.

He did not bother why this was so. Tony just wanted another cock to suck. Thick loads of cum to swallow. He was a good looking guy. This added to the pleasure of the man whose cock was engulfed in Tony's mouth.

The stranger was getting a sizzling blowjob from a man who truly liked sucking it.

Tony touched himself, rubbed his hand on his growing dick. Oh fuck, just one more time he thought. I'll just give one more blowjob and I'll quit. I'll kiss Mary's ass royally and behave, spoil her for a couple months. His behavior just might make things a little better and all this anger would slowly vanish.

The bathhouse was four miles away. Three from his house. He started the car and began driving away.

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Mary sat at the kitchen table. She was deeply worried. She did not dial Tony's cell phone but just stared at the thing on the kitchen table. She was close to tears, and the hurt inside her seemed to never leave from the terrible image implanted in her brain.

It had been a normal summer evening. Tony was not home from work but should be home soon. She decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and enjoy the cool weather. It would be dark soon and she would walk back home.

Mary noticed how empty the streets were. People did not sit outside anymore. Kids rarely played outside as she had when she was a young girl. Times really have changed she thought. Not for the better in her opinion.

The plan they lived in had rows of houses lined up neatly on each side of the street. Oaks and maple trees stood everywhere. The fall looked like a postcard with the vivid colors blazing in their glory. Not far away now. She had walked for a half an hour, and was on the street of he last row of houses in their complex.

She was just about ready to make the left turn to begin her walk back home. Then she saw it. There was a small parking lot used by home owners. There were about a dozen cars parked, and she was shocked to see Tony's car parked there. The longer she stared at the blue Ford it had to be his car. Somebody was sitting in the passenger seat looking down in the car. Tony was not in the driver's seat. What the hell is going on?

Mary quickly walked towards the car. It was nearly dark and the strange man sitting in the passenger seat now had his eyes closed. She was frightened, and when she neared the car about 15 feet away she heard the voice.

"damn, suck it faggot, your fuckin mouth is incredible. Here it fucking cums dick lover." The man grunted and made a loud groan. Mary saw through the window and saw Tony sucking this man's dick and he was obviously in the throes of a violent orgasm.

When Tony had finished swallowing this man's sperm, he raised his body up and then he saw her. Her rage and disbelief sent arrows into Tony's body. Her eyes had been traumatized. The stranger was frozen, in a confused state of fear. But Tony had just been shot. He wished he was dead. Why did he go so close to home to give somebody head?

#############################################################

The bathhouse door buzzed to allow Tony entrance. He hurriedly paid his money and threw his clothes in the locker. Only time to give one fast blow job and he would go home to talk to Mary about his sex therapy visit.

She had caught Tony blowing a man in his own car. The two week that had passed were miserable and painful for the couple. Indignation and shame could almost be smelled in their house. Her ultimatum that he fucking do something and never do this shit again was final.

Tony entered the playroom area as if in a trance. He should go home, but just one more cock he thought. Tony had no idea how addictive gay sex was. It was primal sex. Simple raw sex that he chose to be the man sucking somebody's cock. He was blissful with a man's cock in his mouth when he gave fellatio.

The world had three things for Tony. The man and his hard cock. And Tony who was blowing the guy. He could not express the joy this gave him. He did not care why. Time stopped and nothing existed when his mouth gave pleasure to a man.

Tony saw a tall older man sitting on one of the benches. His legs were spread wide, and a large soft cock drooped between his legs. He had low hanging balls with lots of cum Tony thought. The man's body language spoke for him.

"Kneel down faggot, Suck my cock."

Tony silently fell to his knees and smelled the man scent of his cock and balls and lifted the long dick to his lips. Nirvana covered Tony with it's protective blanket.

The older man cried out loudly when his torrent of sperm shot into Tony's welcoming mouth.

############################################################

"Don't say a fucking word you mother fucker. I fucking hate you!1"

Mary's fury was scary. If she had a gun she would have shot Tony dead in their kitchen. Deafening screaming and sounds of things being shattered could be hear two or three doors down the street.

The next door neighbor was ready to call the police when the house fell silent.

The lights went out in the Ulrich's home.

Tony was mortified. He had never felt so embarrassed or bad in his life. If he could feel shame that would have been an improvement to the low place he was in. He had done all this damage to himself. All because of dicks. He loved looking at them online and in gay magazines. He sat in the dark cellar stunned and could not sleep.

Mary's blood pressure reached the stars. That son of a bitch threw me away to suck somebody's dick. The hurt and betrayal were all she was capable of feeling. The fucking nightmare of that bastard getting back up after blowing that guy. Fucking cum is better than having sex with my huh? I''ll make that bastard so miserable he will wish he was never born. Men. Why the fuck did I marry him for?