Once the unemployment checks began arriving on a weekly basis I was able to budget my finances accordingly. I wasn't thrilled with my calculations. No more steak dinners at nice restaurants; no more bar-hopping 3-4 nights a week, and no more golf. That one hurt β I love to play golf.
What I could afford didn't excite me either: cheap fast food; top ramen noodles and staying home at night playing computer games and drinking bottom-shelf liquor. Talk about a complete change in lifestyle!
What a cruel joke life can be: you study hard and get good grades; you marry your high school sweetheart with big plans for a lucrative career and a house in the suburbs with three kids, and you live happily ever-after.
Then out-of-nowhere they outsource your job to India; the wife leaves you for another man; you find yourself living in an old duplex on the other side of town, and worst of all, you discover the skills you developed for your professional career are no longer needed in this country.
What surprised me the most was that many of my friends, and even some family members, think it is my fault I am unemployed. I met almost all of my current friends at work, and they don't want to be seen with me anymore. It's seems so many people are afraid of losing their jobs they think being seen with 'a guy who got fired' might somehow affect their positions. Sometimes I think my mother is the only friend I have left in the world.
Oh, well, I can do this, I told myself. It won't be forever β I'll find another job and live the good life again.
So one day I was coming home from a long walk, went up the flight of stairs to my place and noticed the door across the hallway from mine was open. Someone was moving in. Fred, the guy who had lived there, lost his job at his company, and couldn't live on what he received from unemployment. He had to move back in with his parents. I shuddered at the thought of it.
I didn't see anyone so I turned to open my door.
"JOHNNY?"
The voice was familiar. I turned and got the shock of my life.
"TOMMY!" I shouted in surprise.
We hugged and laughed and looked at each other in amazement. He invited me inside.
For two years in high school Tommy and I were best friends. Inseparable -- we did everything together. He was the only person I could ever really talk with. He knew me inside and out. He was a great listener, and told funny stories. We debated politics, religion β you name it -- there was never an awkward silence between us. We shared our secrets; our hopes and dreams. If it were socially acceptable I would have married him, hahaha...not really, I'm not gay.
Then I met Karen, my wife. She was gorgeous with a body to match and every guy in high school wanted her. I won her, but lost Tommy. She hated him and forbid me from seeing him. Unfortunately, I listened to her. Tommy and I drifted apart β I went to college with Karen, and the last I'd heard of Tommy he was making a fortune on the internet. And now, six years later here we were β back together again!
I mean, do you believe in miracles, or what?
I helped him unpack. He didn't have a lot of stuff. It was almost like he wasn't planning on staying here very long. When we finished, we had beers on his couch.
"What are you doing here? I asked. "Last I heard you owned the world and had a mansion overlooking the ocean in Florida."
He gave me that familiar, sheepish grin, and said, "Well, a guys gotta be somewhere β this is as good a place as any, I guess."
Then he launched into one of his fascinating and funny monologues. I never tire of listening to him and watching his facial expressions with his arms waving around for emphasis.
The short of it is he did make a fortune on the internet. He started some social network-type thing, sold it for millions, made really bad investments, lost most of his money, and the house in Florida, and decided to move back here and start over.
"How in the world did you find this place? I mean...well, this is one helluva coincidence!" I asked, still amazed he moved into my building.
"Hey," he replied, "I lived here long before you did!"
"W-What?"
"Johnny, I lived here when you and the princess went off to college...I was living here when I came up with the million dollar idea...if you had ever bothered to call me β you would have known that."
The guilt and shame washed over me like it did almost every day since I cut-off our friendship.
As sharp as ever, he saw the look on my face, "Johnny...forget about it...that's all behind us...Hey, how about dinner? β my treat!"
"Let's do it!" I smiled.
We went out that night and had a fabulous dinner, sparkling conversation, and a whole lot of laughs. When we came back home it was like we had never been apart.
The next few days were more of the same. Except since we were both short of money, I suggested we buy groceries and stay in at his place and eat and drink. Of course, he bought most of the food, he knew of my budget.
Well, he was still a master chef, and we ate like kings. I was still duke of the dishes and prince of the pots and pans. I couldn't believe how happy I felt that he was here.
Since it was a hot summer, and both of our air conditioners were worthless, we got into the habit, like the old days, of him in just his boxers and me in my navy blue gym shorts. Yeah, we laughed, not much has changed.
Tommy is two inches taller than me and thirty pounds heavier. Not an ounce of fat on his body. He is strong, but doesn't have huge biceps or rippling muscles. His tanned body looks fantastic. I, on the other hand, am not out of shape, but do not have a physique like his. It was fun watching him walk around the apartment in his boxers.
One morning, I was at his place having coffee. He was wearing his robe, but forgot to tie it around himself. He brought me a refill and I could see everything. What struck me odd was that he didn't have body hair β none β anywhere.
"Like what you see?" he asked, striking a funny pose.
I asked seriously, "Where's your hair? I mean...Iβ"
"Oh, you didn't know. I've got alopecia β always have...just on my body...the hair fell out...I like it. Keeps my skin soft and smooth...here, feel..."
He sat next to me and took my hand and I rubbed his chest. It was smooth! His hard chest was soft and smooth. I absentmindedly continued rubbing his chest. I became lost in a fog. I couldn't get over the feel of his skin. Then I noticed his penis was rising. I still didn't stop stroking his chest. His penis stood straight up β hard as a rock. I stared at it.
I coughed, embarrassed, and jerked my hand from his chest like it was on fire. My face blushed a deep red.
Tommy put his arm around me. "Hey, Columbus," he said, "You looked like you just discovered America!" and he burst out laughing.