Discovery

Dinner that evening was a blur and on several occasions, my wife asked if everything was okay. Everything was not okay. I had cheated on my wife, sucked a friend's cock and let him kiss my neck and lips.

I made a cup of tea for my wife and me and we watched the news in silence. She prepared her lunch for tomorrow and I surfed the web for nothing in particular.

At eight-thirty, we kissed good-night and she padded off to bed. I slipped down to the entertainment room and phoned Andrew.

"Hello."

"Hi, Andrew. It's me.

"Hey, Tom." There was a pause. "How are you doing?"

"Have you ever had a dream in which you are trapped in a room and you can't find the way out and the harder you try the more difficult it becomes?"

"I've had a few of those. Being chased by monsters and being slowed by sloppy muck and quicksand."

"Yeah, exactly like that," I said.

"I know what you're going through," Andrew said. "The first time being sexual with another guy hit me pretty hard too. It's a lot to process."

"Cheating isn't exactly a noble thing and never in my wild imagination did I ever think of a kiss from another man."

"So you're okay with the sucking part? Just kidding."

A nervous laugh escaped my lips.

"I did enjoy that part, more than I thought I would. I liked the kiss and that's what scares me the most."

"It is the most intimate of acts and I wouldn't want you to be able to suck me off, but not desire a kiss."

The line was silent for several moments.

"Andrew. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to cancel breakfast tomorrow and perhaps take some time to figure things out."

"I understand, Tom. Take all the time you need."

I didn't sleep more than a few hours and I stayed housebound for the next few days. At times, thoughts of sucking Andrew drifted through my mind as did those delicious kisses on my neck and lips.

I loved how my wife tilted her head and exposed her neck for my kisses and I did the same for Andrew. Although my wife's kisses felt great, they were different than Andrew's. Hers was soft and gentle, his was soft, gentle and possessive. It was like every kiss was saying - you're mine.

I thought about the last time my wife gave me a blow job and although it was fantastic, something was lacking. Perhaps the lacking part was me and not her. Was it possible to enjoy being sucked, while wishing it was me doing the sucking?

By the time Friday arrived, thoughts of sucking Andrew's cock filled my mind. I called his number and after several rings got his message service.

"Just wanted to say hello and hope all is well."

After leaving the message, I sat at my laptop and wrote -

'Hi, Andrew... It's been a challenging week, but I now realize that a part of me has been dormant for too long. I won't use the label of gay or bisexual, but I am a cocksucker. But not just any cocksucker, your cocksucker.

During my teen years and periodically through my adult life, I wondered what sucking a cock would be like and that it would be a mistake if I didn't explore that part of me.

There are many times that heat flowed through my body, but nothing matched the moment that your cock was between my lips and went into my mouth. And when I thought it couldn't get hotter, you shot your seed into my mouth and I went miles beyond bliss.

Right now I imagine my lips caressing your ball sac, with thoughts of your manly essence swimming inside your balls. Kissing them over and over and teasing my tongue lower until it teases your anus.

Licking and kissing up until I reach your pee slit and hoping for a reward of precum. I love your foreskin and want to once again suck it into my mouth and tease it with my lips and tongue.

I have no desire to deep throat you, but will happily learn if you desire.

I do have a deep desire to feel you spurt into my mouth, face and eventually inside my body.

The sigh from Judy when I cum inside her makes me feel great, but even more so, I want to feel what she feels - a man spurting his seed inside her.

How can I be satisfied spurting my seed, while imagining being her, receiving it?

Your kiss on my neck sent shivers as I've never felt before. I want that feeling again, and soon.

Your kiss on my lips still causes mixed emotions. Not whether I liked it or didn't like it, but the effect it had on me. It's like I surrendered myself to you, trusting that my vulnerability would be safe with you.

I should sign off before this gets even sappier.

PS...Is it too early to think of us as lovers?

Regards, Tom'

Over dinner, Judy mentioned that I seemed more relaxed than I'd been all week. She had a rough week at work and turned in just after eight.

Later that evening, I flipped through my Emails and was about to close down the computer for the evening when one from Andrew appeared.

'Dear Tom... Thanks for the note, it was great to hear from you. It is too early to think of us as lovers, but before your lips even touched my penis, I knew you would become my cocksucker.

There was a time when my wife enjoyed sucking and she was quite good at it, but similar to your wife lost all interest. After a few years celibacy, a business trip and too much alcohol resulted in my first male blow job. Great at the time, but guilt and remorse followed.

A short time after that, an old friend and I met and I discovered he was gay. We would meet a few times a month and he loved sucking and I loved being sucked. He met another guy, fell in love and we both agreed to stop our meetings.

When I saw your interest in me, I got the feeling that there was a part of you that, just under the surface, was hidden but ready to blossom. What I didn't imagine was how natural it would be for you and me as well.

It felt as if I was going to spurt the moment you touched my cock and you drove me crazy when you touched along my vein. I've never struggled so hard not to cum. My wife never seemed comfortable with my foreskin, yet you seemed so attracted to it.

When you uncovered the head of my cock, I was thrilled at the sparkle in your eyes and my precum began to drool when your lips touched me there. Again I had to constrain myself from grasping your hair, opening your mouth and sliding my cock in until it breached your throat.

And yes my cocksucker... there will be times when you will take me deep. I do want to hear you gag on my cock.

The first two lines of a song go -

'You must remember this

A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh'

Women tend to view kissing as an important way to show affection in long-term relationships and I think you were so receptive to my kiss because you were showing your affection for me.

On the outside, you're all male, but you seem to have needs that are generally thought of as feminine. I do want to penetrate you with my bare cock and spurt my seed into you. At that moment, we will become lovers.

PS... If you get this before 10:00 pm and if you like, give me a call.'

After reading Andrew's first sentence my cock began to stir and it quickly grew to hardness. I missed his cock, missed its heat in my mouth. I missed his lips on my neck and imagined make-out sessions as a teen and now wanted him to ravage me with his kisses.

More than anything, I wanted to expose the most private part of my body to him and allow him to take me with all the male power he could muster.

Earlier, my wife had gone to bed and I crept to the basement and pressed Andrew's contact number.

Andrew: Hi Tom, thanks for calling.

Tom: My pleasure. I just finished reading your e-mail and it made me feel like a teen with raging hormones.

Andrew: [Laugh]. The openness of your note showed a great deal of trust in me. Thank you.

Tom: I'm very comfortable with all we did. I've repressed so much of myself and it's like you released me from the chains that were holding my true self.

Andrew: Even the kissing part?

Tom: Especially the kisses. My wife has kissed my neck many times, but yours were completely different. Or perhaps, I perceived your kisses to be different because they were from a male. Is it a sign of my weakness if I imagine being in your arms and being kissed by you?

Andrew: It's not weakness, but it is an adjustment from giving, as opposed to receiving a kiss. When you accepted my kiss, you were surrendering yourself to me and that is a precious gift.

Tom: I never thought about it that way, but it is true. When you kissed my neck I thought I was going to melt into a puddle of bliss.

Andrew: And, what did you feel when I kissed you on your lips?

Tom: Later that night, I felt disgusted with myself, but at the time I wanted to wrap my legs around you and have all of me in you.

Andrew: [Laugh]. I do want you, Tom. I want to be over you, my eyes gazing at yours as I slide my cock deep into your ass.

Tom: [Gasp].

Andrew: And having you on all fours, swatting your cheeks and taking you from behind. You want that, don't you?

Tom: I do. I want you over me as I surrender to you and your desires.

Andrew: My desire is to breed you. Slip my cock in you and pump my seed into you.

There was a long pause.

Tom: I can't put into words how much I want that. So many times I've spilled my seed into my wife and so many times I wished that I was her, receiving a man's essence.

Andrew: I loved spurting my seed into my wife, but it doesn't compare to a man's submission and willingness to be bred. To have my DNA in another guy ... in you.

Tom: Just us two. You and me?"

Andrew: Yes. You and me. Gay, homosexual lovers.

Tom: I get the feeling that if I pinch myself I will wake and realize this has all been a dream.

Andrew: I'll be parked in front of your house in fifteen minutes. Sucking my cock will show how real this is.

Before I could respond, the phone went silent.