Discovering Boys

# Hi everyone, I know it's been years since the last update. I thought I'd revisit the story of Jake, Matt, and David and see if I can't carry it on where I left off.

***

Life, just occasionally, can be bliss after all. David lay on me, sweat lightly shining on his chest after the exertion of the morning, his chest rising and falling slightly rhythmically and his scruffy brown hair clinging to his forehead. My mind swam; I had just had sex with another guy for the first time, just taken his hard dick inside me, just a week after my first kiss with another guy, a different guy.

"Not a bad way to start the day," I quipped, trying to keep some levity in my voice.

He laughed weakly, rolling off me towards the wall and lying flat. The narrow single bed could barely hold the two of us like this and I found myself having to twist to stay on the mattress. His eyes stared into mine, somehow seeming to soften into a soft, warm grey as he grinned wolfishly at me. Then his eyes darkened slightly, and he looked firmly at me.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry?" I felt the bliss draining away, had I done something wrong? What if I hadn't been good, had he had a bad time, what if --

He laughed softly again, "I'm sure I promised I wouldn't push you into anything last night, with all the crap you've put up with this week..."

"Oh!"

His arms were wrapped around me still, and he lightly traced the skin of my arm, sending ripples of thrill and relief all intermingled rushing through me. In the same breath I relaxed again, the knot of tension leaving me as swiftly as it had arrived.

"I know you're dealing with some stuff, and all this is new, but you're so sexy, Jake. You need to know that. You do know that, right?"

I stammered, not really giving a reply. His eyes softened yet further, flickering with concern.

"Well you are. And I'm sorry if I --"

I did the only thing I could think of and kissed him. It was different again, this time I could feel the warmth of his lips as I pushed myself into him, soft and pillowy and yielding to the urgency and firmness of mine. Then I punched him lightly on the arm in rebuke.

"Will you stop apologising! I think you'll find I started it, and I enjoyed it, no promises broken."

He laughed again, quiet and low.

"Okay, okay, no being serious, I get it!" He winked at me, "So, do I at least get a coffee before I go to class?"

I groaned, checking my watch, it was early enough to make my lectures for the day and I couldn't exactly miss another day's classes without my professors docking my attendance. Reluctantly I stood up and found some pyjama bottoms before shuffling out the room, leaving the glorious figure of a man tangled in my bedsheets in search of caffeine, cursing the diligence of medics as I went.

***

The day passed in something of a blur. Lecturers droned on endlessly about animal behaviour, evolution, and genetics. Their admonishments about upcoming exams and essays washed over me without impact, and I resolved to get copies of the notes from my classmates rather than try and actually pay attention. It didn't feel all that important in the context of the last few days, which felt like they had completely altered the course of my life.

By the time I got back to my flat the sun had dipped below the horizon. Harriet was in the kitchen, and glanced over at me as I came in.

"You know, you could have said you were gay, Jake."

My heart thudded in my chest, "Uh, what?"

"That hot guy last night, he stayed over, right?" She pouted impishly at me, "I guess it makes sense, how else could you resist me, I'm a catch!"

I swallowed hard before replying, thinking how quickly rumours and gossip spread like wildfire through our dorms and picturing the harassment Nate would soon visit on me.

"Harriet, I'm not gay, don't be ridiculous, I just don't shit where I eat."

"Sure, if you say so. It's totally not gay to have a random guy come round at night, stop over, and wake me up with all the moaning in the morning. Not gay at all! I'll believe you, sure."

"Honestly, you don't half make some fanciful ideas up Harriet, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She gave me a theatrical pantomime wink, "Sure! Just as you say, Jake, nothing happened, yep."

I half groaned, feigning exasperation, "Look, believe what you want but don't go round spreading shit, I cannot be bothered dealing with your made up nonsense chasing me all over campus."

She winked again, walking over in an exaggerated sultry walk. Pressing herself against me briefly, her breasts to my chest, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you could always prove it to me if you're really not..."

She laughed sharply before I could reply, and pulled away, heading out the room. Over her shoulder she said, "Well, if you won't, maybe I can convince Matt to give me what I want. He was looking for you, by the way."

She left without another word, leaving me stood mutely, alone.

***

I found Matt in his flat, sat with Nate, huddled under his duvet which he had dragged into the lounge. His eyes looked a little puffy and red, a mar on his otherwise perfect looks which any master sculptor would have been proud to have chiselled into marble. Almost annoyingly, his hair was still that perfect tousled mess which I couldn't help but envy. Nate rounded on me as soon as I entered, glaring daggers.

"Oh god, it's the queer, what, come round to ruin more lives?"

I was taken aback by his overt hostility. I knew he was a dick, and probably a homophobe based on the rumours he'd been spreading over the last week, but this was a clear escalation and I had no idea what to do with it.

"What the actual fuck, Nate, leave off it."

Matt spoke before I could react, rising to my defence and actually half getting out of his chair. Hardly a knight-in-shining armour, but I felt a surge of affection towards him. Matt really wasn't one for conflict, usually laughing off Nate's more off-colour jokes, but he looked genuinely irate at this jibe.

"No, I don't think I will. I don't get you, Matt, he's always been the weird one, I don't get why you always defend him. Kerryn dumped you because of this queer fuck and you're not furious? I just don't get it."

"Wait, what? What happened? What has Kerryn said?" I cut in, looking at Matt.

He sighed, "Yeah, she said it's over, refused to say why"

"For fuck's sake, Matt, you know why, Jake has been all over you for months, then he practically forced himself on you at Wire and you don't cut him out like I said --"

"Nate, shut up."

"-- and now he's here, following you round like a puppy again. Why wouldn't she think --"

"Nate, I said back off."

"-- no, man, I just don't get it, you're gonna let this queer fuck make everyone think you're gay? What the actual fuck man?"

This last seemed to hit Matt like a body blow and he sank back into the couch, shrinking away from the accusations about his sexuality. I tensed, hating to see him like this.

"Nate," I said, doing everything I could to keep my voice as low and level as possible, "a single kiss in a club doesn't make Matt gay, or me, or anything like it. Especially not a kiss in a game of chicken which, remember, was your idea. You're not really helping."

I kept one eye on Matt as I swallowed, gritting my teeth slightly, fighting back the urge to shout 'so what if he's gay, so what if I am, who the fuck cares' at the top of my voice. I knew it wouldn't help, and Matt looked about as vulnerable as I'd ever seen him. He didn't quite meet my eye, staring glumly into the blanket.

"Kerryn is an idiot if she's bought into the bullshit you've been spreading, Nate, if she's throwing away everything with Matt just because you love drama. Call me whatever you want, I really could not give less of a shit what you think about me, but your drama is now hurting people, so why don't you just fuck off."

Matt looked up, and gave me a weak smile of thanks.

"Nate, I think you need to leave, I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

Nate looked like he wanted to fire back at me, but thought better of it. He shrugged, "Sure, man, if you wanna hang with this gay fuck then I'm not going to stop you, just don't be surprised if people think you've caught it from him."

"Nate. Honestly, piss off with this stone-age bullshit will you? Get the fuck out."

He let out a sharp bark of a laugh before flouncing out of the room in a fit of pique, slamming the door behind him as he went. I sank into the chair next to Matt once I was sure Nate had gone.

"You okay mate? What happened?"

Matt let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair. Even now, at his lowest moment, I couldn't help but notice how... cuddly he looked. In movement Matt had this unselfconscious grace, irritatingly smooth in pretty much everything he did. But he could also deliver an Oscar-worthy performance in scolded puppy when he wanted to, and wrapped up under his duvet he managed to make feeling sorry for himself into an artform of warmth, softness, and that underlying hint of muscled power temporarily disarmed.

"I dunno man, things have been weird for a while, y'know"

"I thought the two of you were doing great though? You've been practically inseparable for months..."

"Well yeah, Kerryn is awesome, she's like a wild cat in bed," Matt laughed at my wrinkled face as I grimaced, "yeah, yeah, I know. But maybe, I mean, I guess that's sort of all we had going on? The physical stuff. And she gets so jealous whenever I talk to any other girl, she was only really chill when she knew she would be there to keep an eye on me, or if I was just hanging out with the guys."

"Oh." My mind filled in the rest almost immediately -- suspicion and jealousy and then hearing he'd made out with me, one of the people she thought she could trust him around...

"Yeah, she suddenly didn't even feel comfortable with me being out of her sight. It got super controlling, really, but I kind of get it, right."

"Man I'm so sorry, I really had no idea all this stuff was going on with you."

"Hey, not your fault right, I kissed you, not the other way around. Everything just kinda sucks right now." He had turned the puppy dog eyes up to eleven, their soft blue brimming with emotion as he looked directly at me. "But hey, I'm sorry I've been weird, it's just been really rough."

My mind flashed back to the other night, Matt, drunk, practically throwing himself at me as he wrestled with his emotions. The anger and lust and hate and desire warring within him. It had hardly been my most pleasant interaction with my best friend I'd ever had. But that first kiss we'd shared in the club was still one of the hottest memories, the urgency and strength and solidity of his body and lips pressing into mine, his tongue invading my mouth and his arms around my neck, my back, roaming all over. The only thing I'd ever felt which had topped that kiss was the feeling of Dave's body pressing into mine as he took my ass the night before. But now my best friend looked so crestfallen, his face crumpled. He'd been so confused, so angry, so... lost. I felt a surge of empathy, I knew all those feelings racing across his face. If anything, they mirrored my own over the last week perfectly.

I remembered what had helped me. David had been there as a friend first, a compassionate, hot top second.

"Look man," I started, "the thing to do tonight is do nothing at all. We're going to chill, pick a movie, I'll order a pizza, and we can zen out. I'm sure everything is going to be fine. Things always look better after a good movie and a pizza."

Matt smiled, wanly at me, his puppy dog eyes slipping a second and the usual lively energy re-entering them, "Sure, I guess, sounds like a plan"

"Well shove over then, you're hogging the couch."

We spent the next couple of hours watching an absolutely awful B list horror movie. The makeup on the 'zombies' was hilariously bad, the dialogue was atrocious, and the acting among the most wooden either of us had ever seen. It was, all things considered, the perfect choice. By the end we were roaring with laughter as we counted down the obvious jump scares and trying to predict which of the campy college girls would be first to suggest going into the basement of the house on her own. We ended up both curled up on the couch, covered with Matt's duvet, not quite cuddling, but not quite not cuddling either. Matt's arm was draped lightly over my shoulders, and as the credits rolled he pulled me closer into a massive bear hug. His biceps practically crushed me with the force of his affection, a vicelike crushing grip. I had my friend back, not quite the same as before, but maybe a bit stronger for the experience.

"Hey, thanks for this Jake, I think I needed it."

Matt physically span me around in his arms, not letting go, and stared into my eyes. Their blue depths bored into mine and I was taken aback by how earnest he looked. Earnest wasn't one of Matt's usual expressions, he usually went much more for light hearted and playful. His mop of tousled brown hair had fallen over his face slightly giving everything a slightly dusky look and he clearly hadn't shaved in a while so he looked much more pleasantly grizzled than normal.

"Uh, err, yeah mate, don't mention it" The intensity of his stare was causing my head to swim slightly and I couldn't quite form anything witty to say to keep the mood light.

He shifted slightly, and brushed his hands through my hair, almost unconsciously.

"Have you had a haircut or something? I never noticed how nice it is like that..."

I pulled back, trying vainly to keep things light, "what, got a thing for redheads have you?"

He grinned, "Maybe, I've never been with a ginger before."

He traced his hand down my face, following the curve of my jaw and then down my neck, pausing slightly at my collarbone. The light tracing of his fingertips, with barely even the hint of pressure, was enough to send my heartbeat into overdrive. It was like electricity radiated from his touch right through me, giving me goosebumps. I felt a warm sensation in my groin as blood rushed in and my pants tightened.

"Maybe this is okay" he murmured, more to himself than to me.

My breath caught in my throat before I could give a real reply. He leant in towards me, his eyes closed and head tilted slightly. His lips pressed into mine. They were soft, pliant, and compassionate, but had that same firmness I'd felt the very first time. The sense of authority and strength, but this time neither urgent and breathless, nor hostile and demanding. Slowly, methodically, and deliberately he kissed me. His lips parted slightly and I felt his tongue touch mine, dancing lightly in my mouth as the passion and heat of the moment threatened to overtake me. He shifted slightly and suddenly I realised he was on top of me, pressing the weight of his body against mine, muscles strained ever so slightly against the fabric of his t-shirt.

The hands which before had sent electric shocks racing through my body were firmer now, more insistent, roaming across my chest and down my sides. The kiss seemed to absorb the whole world and everything else faded away. Just me and Matt, locked together. His hands reached my belt and moved to my groin, cupping me on top of my jeans and feeling the warmth of my bulge straining against the layers of fabric. I mirrored his movements, my hands roving down his chest, feeling each chiselled abdominal muscle pass under my palm before I reached the huge bulge tenting his shorts. With my eyes closed I could only feel the urgency of his body against mine, the solid weight under my hand, and the intensity of both of us breathing, fast and deep.

I kissed him again, and again, and again, working from his lips to his neck, to the hollow where his sharp collarbone met his neck. I kissed deeply, letting my tongue massage into his skin, and felt his sharp intake of breath give way to an almost animalistic moan. He fumbled with my belt, but I knocked his hand away, kissing his neck still more deeply. I kept working my way down his furry chest, lightly licking then nibbling on his small, pert nipples. Matt groaned again, his hands coming up to twine themselves in my hair, guiding me further down.

I was operating entirely on instinct, my brain empty of anything resembling conscious thought. I hooked my thumb into the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down slowly. It became obvious immediately that Matt had been hiding a definitely solid sized dick, as the elastic passed over the tip it flicked upwards, hitting me gently in the cheek. I estimated it was probably approaching six inches long, shorter but much girthier than my own. What it was, though, was beautiful. I'd never really thought of dicks as being beautiful before. But if any were, this was. My mouth watered as I looked, struck for the moment by the enormity of going down on my best friend. But I had gone too far now to slow down.

I lightly licked down the length of it, savouring the warmth and the faint musk radiating from him. Then, slowly, I put the tip of it to my mouth, my tongue gliding in lazy circles around the head, tasting the salty-sweet precum that was leaking copiously from it. Matt gasped sharply as I played with his frenulum, his hands tightening in my hair adding just the hint of pain as he pulled me down onto his cock, invading my mouth.

I struggled to relax my jaw as the sheer size of it filled all available space in my mouth, trying to swallow him deeper and breathe through my nose. It took a good few moments but then my nose was buried into his groin, the full length of his dick filling my throat, every sense in my body filled with him, his smell, the sound of his hitched breathing, his taste. I pulled back, trying to catch a breath, before pushing down again.

"God," Matt grasped, "that is so intense."

His hips started to buck under me, increasing the tempo and the force. I quickly found I was barely in control of what was happening. His grip on my head, and the thrusting of his hips, driving his cock in and out of my mouth with increasing speed and force. Pretty quickly he was fucking my face, burying himself into my throat again and again, and all I could do was try and grab breaths in time with his thrusting. I could feel the energy and passion in every movement, his groans and moans getting louder as he neared his climax.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," he panted, "I'm gonna cum"

He buried himself into my throat, holding me there firmly and my mouth was suddenly full of the warm, salty, strangely sweet taste as he burst forcefully into my throat. I swallowed hard, trying to take it all in. He held me there for a second or two more then collapsed back onto the couch, exhausted from the exertion of his orgasm.

"Fuck!" He groaned, "That was intense."

"Yeah" I gasped, winded and panting, "intense feels like the right word."

He looked at me, "You okay?"

"That was... wow"

He laughed, a bit sheepishly, "Yeah, I really got into it, sorry, you okay?"

"Yeah, just..." I was still out of breath, "Give me a second to recover"

I stood up, straightening my clothes and glanced at my phone which had fallen out of my pocket. There was a string of texts. I groaned. David.

'Hey sexy, how was your day?'

'Trying to memorise all these drug names isn't working with the image of you in my head, distracting me!'

'Wanna do something tonight?'

'Hey, Jake, everything okay? I know it's October but no ghosting me, right!'

Shit. The buzz and intensity of everything that had just happened drained from me as fast as it had arrived. David. Shit. I hadn't even stopped to think. Shit. Matt looked at me, curiosity giving way to concern as he saw the tension in my face.

"Hey, is everything okay?"