I discovered that I loved sucking cock in my very early 20's. I loved women, still do, in fact emotionally I can only be attracted to women, but there was something missing sexually. This was in the early 70's so porn was not a mouse click away like it is now. You either found an adult bookstore, not always easy to do, or you had the magazines like Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. If you are old enough to remember those days you know that Penthouse had a letters section. Not always believable, but good for discovering new things from regular vanilla sex between a man and woman, to BDSM, to bi or gay, hell even incest. Pretty much any story was ok. I loved reading those letters and jacking off to all the possibilities they showed me.
When I first read some of the bi and gay stories I found myself very excited, which surprised me. It surprised me even more that I always imagined it was me that was the one giving pleasure to another man rather than the one receiving it. I became more and more obsessed with the thought of sucking a cock. The problem was in those days I had no idea how to go about doing it. I certainly could not let anyone I knew learn of these desires. I could not imagine how people would think of me if they knew that about me.
I was 22 and in Houston Texas waiting to catch a ship. I had been in the Merchant Marines for a year and this was where I was shipping out of. While waiting for the next available freighter or oil tanker that had a job opening I discovered that only a couple blocks from my hotel was an adult bookstore. I was amazed at the porn that was available there. No longer restricted to R rated porn, suddenly I was able to get hold of the real deal. XXX all the way.
I bought issues of gay porn, bi porn, dominance and submission porn, everything but regular sex that I could see, or do anywhere for that matter. I would take the mags back to my hotel room and read them and look at the photos of every kind of sexual activity I could imagine. But I always found myself cumming hardest while looking at photos of men sucking cock. And I always imagined that I was the one sucking the, dare I say, beautiful cocks that were in the photos. I was embarrassed by these feelings, but they grew stronger and stronger.
One day while looking at the racks of magazines at the porn shop I saw one that was for swingers in the local Houston area. I of course bought it and when I got back to my room started reading the ads. A very few were from single women, though to be honest they were worded in a way that it sounded like there would be money involved. A few more were from couples but they almost always were looking for women. The majority were from men, most seeking women, but about 3 in 10 from a man seeking another man.
Also, most of the ads had PO boxes to contact the people which would not work for me as I did not know when I would be shipping out and in the days when snail mail was the only mail I figured it would just take too long to contact anyone. But a few of the ads had phone numbers to call. I was pretty amazed that someone would have big enough balls to put their phone number in an ad that dealt with sex, but hey, maybe I would find one that interested me.
And of course I did. By far most of the men looking for men were looking to give and take with other man, a smaller group was only looking to service other men, and the fewest were from men who just wanted another man to suck their cock. Those were the ones that interested me. I didn't even consider looking for someone to suck me; I just had to find out what it would be like to suck cock.
Well there was one ad from a man that said he was 55 and looking for a younger man who wanted to become his cocksucker. My cock actually twitched when I read the word cocksucker. In all the times I had imagined sucking cock I had never considered that it would make me a cocksucker if I did, but for reasons beyond my understanding I wanted to be a cocksucker, even called a cocksucker. And as much as I could not believe it, the ad had a phone number.
Well as you might imagine I spent a couple days debating about calling it. I would tell myself that it was probably a disconnected number or that at 22 why would I want to suck the cock of a 55 year old man. Then I would think about finally feeling a cock slip between my lips and I would get myself right to the point of being ready to call but chicken out and just jack off thinking about it instead. Well one evening, about 7 PM I had swallowed just enough beer to pick up the phone and dial without thinking about it. Gotta love the bravery that alcohol can give.
The phone rang several times with me sweating like a fool and as I was just getting ready to hang up a man answered. "Hello." I didn't say anything for a few seconds and the man again said, "Hello."
"I'm calling about the ad." I finally had enough nerve to say expecting him to not know what I was talking about.
"What ad would that be?" he asked with what seemed like a chuckle.
I told him, with a nervous voice that I had seen an ad in whatever magazine it was and he chuckled again and asked. "Are you a cocksucker?"
I didn't know how to respond and just held the phone shaking against my ear and he asked again, "I said, are you a cocksucker?"
I took a deep breath and said "I want to be." and took several deep breaths waiting for his reply.
"How old are you?" he asked and I told him.
"You understand I have no interest in touching you, I just enjoy a boy sucking my cock. Are you ready to suck my cock and get nothing in return?" he asked.
