Desire

Desire

Chapter 1

I guess I had always been gay, even from my first sexual experiences, I knew that my desires didn't conform to those of my peers. At 18, I was still a virgin, though I had wanted to have sex, I never seemed to have the opportunity. Shortly after turning 18, all of that changed. As I was of age, I took the opportunity to explore my sexuality and I chose to do this by visiting one of the local adult book stores. That decision, though I didn't know it at the time. Set the stage for the rest of my life.

I had viewed pornography and had a fair collection of various nude magazines, which allowed me some respite from my sexual frustrations, but it always seemed lacking, never quite as good as I imagined it would be. This was probably when I should have realized I was different as the magazines that excited me the most were those that featured photos and stories about sex outside the normal, particularly those that depicted men who dressed as women. As my experience was limited I never considered where this interest would lead. It was a few weeks past my 18

th

birthday that I began my journey.

I was excited the night I visited the book store. This I knew would allow me the opportunity to acquire some explicit pornography, things which I had only been able to fantasize about. I remember being nervous, not know what I would find and feared I would look out of place, but I fortified myself and entered the store. My first impressions were of awe, as I was immediately treated to rows of explicit sex magazines. Fascinated and a little overwhelmed, I tried to remain casual while I gawked. I could feel my sexual desire rising and felt my penis begin to stiffen in my pants.

It seemed that there was a magazine for every conceivable sex act you could imagine and some I hadn't thought of yet. Couples, threesomes, groups, blow jobs and men and women fucking in every position possible. There were rows upon rows magazines from which to purchase magazines depicting whatever your mind could imagine. I couldn't decide where to start or what I would purchase. I continued to peruse the aisles for some time when I noticed a sign at the rear of the store over and closed doorway. The sign simply read, "Movie Booths." This was something I hadn't considered and my hormones got the better of me. I casually made my way over to the door and after some hesitation, tried the door and found it opened easily and I quickly slipped inside.

The area was dark and for several minutes I couldn't see anything. As my eyes began to adjust, I found myself in a long hallway with doors to either side. Beside each door was a display which showed the movie available within. As I walk down the hall glancing at each of the displays, I came across one showing a shemale with a huge cock. Looking around quickly, I opened the door and went inside. A moment of panic ensued as I suddenly realized the movie required quarters to operate. Not know whether I had any, I quickly search my pockets and was relieved to find I actually had several. I dropped 4 into the slot and the movie began.

The scene opened with what appeared to be an attractive woman meeting a man in a living room. They kissed and reclined on the sofa together. After some foreplay things began to heat up with the woman giving the man a blow job. After several minutes, the man took charge and slipped his hand between the woman's legs, eventually revealing a huge hard cock. This scene peaked my sexual excitement and I began rubbing my stiffening cock through my pants.

As I stood mesmerized and gently rubbing my hard dick, the door to the booth slowly opened. I had a moment of panic as a man stepped into the booth and closed the door behind him. He smiled at me briefly, which did ease some of my panic, then turned to look at the movie As he did so, he edged closer until he was standing beside me. I glanced back at the movie to see the man sucking deeply on the shemales large dick. I was distracted as I heard my booth mate say how good that looked. As I turned toward him, I caught movement as his hand moved to his crotch, after just a few strokes of the bulge beneath, he unzipped his pants, pulling out his cock, which he immediately began stroking it.

Not really knowing why, this further relaxed me. This whole thing was new to me and I was uncertain what to do or what was acceptable. I was now horny as hell, my dick hard as it had ever been, without much thought, I followed suit and I quickly had my own cock out, stroking it as I watched the movie. It was only a few minutes later I felt a touch on the back of my hand. I looked down a saw my booth mate reaching towards my erect cock. As if it were the natural thing to do, I removed my hand and he took hold my stiff shaft. The feeling of another person's hand on my cock sent shivers through me. I had never before felt so sexually aroused. I closed my eyes relishing in the pleasure I was feeling.

I had never had someone touch me this way and the feeling was amazing. He stroked my cock bringing ever closer to orgasm, when suddenly the stroking stopped. While he still held my cock, he squatted down as he moved in front of me. His head came forward and I felt his lips engulf my erection. Waves of pleasure began exploding in my head as he sucked my cock deeper into his mouth. It wasn't long before I began convulsing as my cock exploded into his mouth. This didn't seem to faze my booth mate as he slurped down every drop of my cum. With a last long suck, my cock slipped from between his lips. He stood up, smiled at me, then quickly exited the booth.

I stood for several long minutes, first just recovering from my orgasm, then from the stupor I experienced after having been given my first blow job, not only was it my first, it had been given to me by another man. I cleaned up as best I could, got everything back in place, then opened the door and left the booth. I quickly headed back into the store and had started to head for the entrance when I remembered why I had come in here to start with. I was still flustered and couldn't think clearly. I grabbed a couple of magazines at random then started for the cashier. As I turned the corner around the last rack of magazines, I froze. The entire rack was devoted to gay sex, men with men, shemales with men, and women with other women, without really thinking I grabbed several of these and went to check out.

My ride home was a blur. My mind was still racing from what I had just experienced. Images raced through my mind, his hand on my cock, my cock sliding into his mouth, and lastly, the smile as he licked the last of my cum off his lips. I kept rolling over how it felt, him holding my cock, then his lips closing around it, the feel of his mouth as he took my cock deeper. The waves of pleasure at each new sensation and finally the orgasm of which, I could still feel as I drove. The drive home took about 45 minutes, but I don't recall much of the drive. I just remember arriving at my apartment and parking. I sat for a long time before I opened my door to head inside. As I exited the car, I remembered my purchases, so I grab the bag and headed for the front door.

Once inside after getting a drink from the kitchen, I sat down on the sofa to collect my thoughts. I had just had my first sexual experience with another person and it had been a man. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, pondering the implications of having had my first sexual experience and that experience had been a gay encounter. Then I remember some of the sensations I had felt and they were good, as was the climax, which had been far better than when I masturbated. Why had it been so exciting? Why had I been so turned on by it? Was there something wrong with my being so aroused by the touch of another man? All questions that slid through my mind as I sat. I decided a hot shower would help clear my head and allow me to think more clearly, so I headed to bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, still pondering my questions. I came to the conclusion the answer to the first two was that it was my first experience with another person. I was already sexually excited by being in the store to begin with. I had fantasized about what I would get and what I do after, so it made sense that I had been aroused, but the answer to the third question still eluded me. As I considered it, I felt that familiar tingle in my crotch. I was getting hard thinking about all of this. I knew I wanted to masturbate and that was when I remembered my new magazines. I quickly retrieved my bag and returned to the bed room.

I took the magazines out and began looking at what I had ended up with. I had been so flustered and distracted I hadn't paid much attention to what I picked up. My head clearer now, I looked at what I had. The first two magazines just depicted a couple having sex. The first one showed a close up of a large cock sliding into a woman's pussy, the second a woman sucking another big cock. It was the other three magazines that surprised me. The first showed several men jerking off and the content was much the same including photos of them cumming. The second had a photo of a shemale being fucked from behind. The last one was some sort of swingers magazine, a swingers magazine for gay men.

My cock was demanding attention. I could feel it pulsing as the shaft thickened and the head began to swell. I tentatively gave it a gentle stroke and felt that familiar tingle as my desire increased. I settled back and picked one of the regular magazines. After several minutes I seemed to lose interest and picked up one of the gay magazines, my cock rose in response. I had chosen the one showing the men jacking off and starting shuffling through the pages. Though I had known that all cocks were different, as I looked through the magazine, I noticed that each had a different appeal, long, thick, uncut, large glands, almost every aspect was somehow suddenly interesting. More importantly I found looking at them closely was also very arousing.

Not yet ready to finish myself off for the night, I decided to glance through the swingers magazine. Most of the photos weren't as explicit as the others but the adds themselves fed my imagination. Some men were looking for relationships others just plain sex and they were very explicit in what they thought as sexually gratifying. The longer I read the more aroused I got. I started imagining my answering some of the ads and fantasizing about what those encounters would be like. It wasn't long before my cock was oozing precum and demanding I satisfy its needs. With all these new fantasizes in my head I soon found myself having my second climax of the evening. My demons all sated, I cleaned up and crawled under the covers for some well earned sleep. Little did I know that my sleep would be restless and disturbing.

The next morning I awoke tired, though I had slept through the night even sneaking an extra hour before actually getting out of bed. I vaguely remembered dreaming but couldn't remember any details. What thinking about those lost dreams did do was give me another raging hard on, one that just didn't want to seem to go away, no matter what I did. All day the events of the night before crept back into my thoughts and several times during the day I had to stop what I was doing to relieve the pressure. I had on occasion masturbated more than once or twice during the day, but this day I ended up masturbating 6 times before I drifted off to sleep.

I opted out of college in favor of a good job offer. My week was filled with work activities, at least for the most part. There were still moments during the day, when my thoughts would wander back to the weekend and I could feel myself getting an erection. I had several difficult moments when I had to hide my uncontrollable erections, but I finally got through the first day. My erection quickly returned when I was alone in my car on the way home. That night I spent time considering what had happened, my first sexual experience, my first blow job, and with another man. I couldn't quite get my head around why I found it so arousing. I decided I need to do it again, maybe that would provide me with the answers I needed.