*Please note that all characters are 18 years of age or older.*
We haven't spoken since the incident, and that was weeks ago. It's summer now and we both have our lifeguard jobs at the pool, but he avoids my gaze so religiously that it feels like I'm not even there.
I'm not sure what to say, or if I should even say anything. He was the one who pushed me, but I didn't exactly hold back either. But I can't stop thinking about what happened, and what would have happened if Evan's mom hadn't come home. But we were both adults now, and we should act like it. Soon we'd be in different colleges, and I didn't want our friendship to end like this.
At work on Wednesday I see him in the staff room joking around with some of the other guards. They're tossing the balled up swim trunks of another lifeguard back and forth, playing monkey in the middle as a little hazing ritual.
I can see his shoulder blades outlined through his t-shirt as he throws. I remember the feeling of my hand on the back of his neck as I shoved his face to the floor; the sensation as I dragged my fingertips between those shoulder blades.
I have trouble focusing for the rest of the day in the blazing hot June sun. At shift change I step out to take a piss, rubbing my eyes as I walk through the men's locker room. I'm so confused; I've slept with girls from before and its never felt like it did that day. I was being honest when Evan asked if I was gay. I truly never thought about it until now. But it didn't exactly seem like that was Evan's first time with a guy. I might have a dick, but I definitely wouldn't know what to do if one was shoved in front of my face. Or maybe I would, I don't know.
It was weird to think about Evan that way. I had known him since freshman year when we both sat next to each other in Biology. He had never had a girlfriend, but that seemed normal to me at the time; most of the guys on the baseball team just kind of fuck around. He mentioned sleeping with a couple of girls I know, and from the looks he got from them -- whether it was an embarrassed glance or a coy smile -- made me pretty sure that he wasn't lying.
I'm so lost in thought that I run straight into someone.
"Oh shit, my bad," I apologize quickly and look up. It's Evan. He stares at me with a look of shock; both of us just standing there like idiots in front of the men's room.
"Its fine," he mumbles and hurries down the hall.
I try to go back to the chair to pay attention, but my heart rate has gone up so much I almost don't noticed the kids rough housing in the deep end. I'm thankful when the day finally ends.
-----------------
"Declin honey, is that you?"
I set my keys down in the bowl and kick off my shoes. "Yeah Mom, it's me," I call back.
She appears in the doorway to the living room. "I'm seeing a movie with Carrie later; she's coming in a bit to pick me up so I'm just finishing up dinner. You can reheat some in the microwave when you get hungry."
"Okay, thanks."
"Are you okay, hon?" she frowns.
"Yeah, just a busy day at work." I give her a weak smile.
"Well, you're almost done. Soon you won't have the luxury of your mom's cooking," she says with a laugh as she walks back to the kitchen.
"I'm going to my room to study," I call over my shoulder as I trudge up the stairs.
"Don't work yourself too hard, its summer after all!"
Flopping onto my bed, I pull out some of my textbooks and try to get to work. I've been trying to study a bit before the fall so I'm not behind in math. My eyes are fixed to the page, but all I can think about is Evan's blue eyes looking at me with my dick in his mouth, his hand as he pins my wrist to the couch. My cum dripping down his thigh. Soon enough I have a hard-on and I groan in frustration as I roll onto my back. I stare at the ceiling and imagine the feel of his lips around my cock as I absently stroke it through my pants.
The doorbell rings and I glance at the clock. It must be Carrie here to pick up my mom. I hear footsteps as she makes her way to the door.
"Declin, hon!" Her voice is muffled as she yells up the stairs to me. "Evan is here to see you!"
I sit up like a rocket but make no move towards the door.
"DECLIN!" she calls again.
"Coming!"