My eyes went to the water of the harbor just below and to the right of where I was sitting on a sultry, glorious evening in the Mediterranean. There, between the bows of two bobbing small yachts, I saw them in the water and smiled to myselfâtwo spent condoms, floating there, like gelatinous jelly fish, on the surface of the slightly oil-slicked water. Had I remembered to come out with rubbers, they reminded me. I ran a hand into the pocket of my linen trousers. Yes, three rubbers and a small tube of lube. Never leave home without them. Not in my business.
"I'm so happy you were available this evening," Rifaat said, sitting across from me at the harborside restaurant table. "I found I needed to come to Girne from Lefkosa at the last moment. I wouldn't have wanted to miss the opportunity of laying you again."
He reached across the table and touched the silver bar in my left nipple, visible and touchable because I'd come out in the evening wearing a black mesh athletic T. I was seeing Rifaat Ilham by appointment in the picturesque Girne harbor, but it never hurts to advertise for other business as well. Rifaat was one of the more affectionate of my regulars. He liked touching me here and there as assurance, I think, that a young, blond American would go with him and open his legs for him.
I did it for pay, but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the company and cocks of men I did it for.
He'd just shown me the latest photo of his familyâa wife, two boys, and a girl, the children preteens, the wife not looking all that old herselfâcertainly a lot younger than Rifaat. And when I'd handed the photo back to him, he'd taken my hand from across the table and was still holding it, rubbing my palm with his thumb.
We were being fairly obvious, I suppose, out here on the stone quay moving in a nearly full circle around the inner harbor of the northern Cyprus Byzantine-period town held down at one end by a medieval castle and at the other by the Dome Hotel. The Turks, who controlled this part of Cyprus, called the picturesque harbor town Girne, and the Greeks, on the southern two-thirds of the island, called it Kyrenia. All of the restaurateurs with tables swirling around the harbor knew what I was about, though, so it didn't matter of Rifaat Ilham showed some affection.
He was an interesting man. This was the third time he'd engaged me. He'd come from mainland Turkey and had, I was told, an import business here. He lived in the capital city at the center of the island, a divided city that the Turks, in the north, called Lefkosa and the Greeks, in the south, Nicosia. Ilham must be fifty or more and he was a beefy man, but he was in great shape for his age, both hard bodied and hung, as I already well knew. His face was more one of character than of good looks, but he was all smiles and enthusiasm and was what one would call charismatic. A good salesman, I was sure. He had a body I liked tooâbrown, muscular, and hirsute.
He was gregarious and easy to talk to. He was giving me a leisurely dinner beside the water in the Girne harbor. We ate, drank, and chatted amicably into the hours of the early night that I liked so much here. It was a magical, ageless setting. The string of twinkling tea lights decking the tables, buildings, and bobbing yachts in the inner harbor floated a glow over the stone facades of the encircling buildings, their ground floors former shops and storage areas turned toward the harbor and their upper stories residences turned toward the upper road encircling the harbor.
I didn't resent it then when he said, "Shall we go up to my room now? I'm booked at the Dome Hotel again." Most of the men I served here began the night with the "Let's go up to the room now" direction.
* * * *
There was no use sneaking by anyone at reception in the Dome. I was well known thereâand tolerated. They all got their cut. There was a young man sitting in the lobby giving Ilham and me close scrutiny when we came inâhe was still there, reading a newspaper, when I left. If he was a policeman, he was new to the beat. But there wasn't so much as a murmur from those at the reception desk and Ilham guided me, hand on my butt, to the elevator.
The room was facing the inner harbor and had a floor-to-ceiling window.
"Do you want to join me?" Ilham asked. We'd both stripped and had done a bit of standing kissing and fondling inside the door. I could see that he was already set up for pleasure, with lines of Coke laid out on a sheet of paper on the desk. He was offering a couple of lines to me.
"No, thank you," I said. "Let me know where and when you want me." I went over to the window, leaned into the frame, and watched the late-night activity in the harbor, while he snorted some lines.
"I'll sit at the end of the bed," he said at length. When I turned, I saw that he was in full erection. He had what was called a beer-can cockâextraordinarily thick. He was longer than average too. That was one of the things I liked about servicing him. Average cocks did little for me anymore. I liked to be stretched and tested. Ilham did that for me. I wasn't that wild about the drugs, though. I avoided that shit. I'll have to say it gave him a magnificent erection thoughâand he'd be able to keep it for hours. With Ilham, it would be at least an hour. He took his time and wanted it more than once.
He settled on the bed and I came to him, went down on my knees between his spread thighs, took him in my mouth, and gave him slow head. Humming, he leaned over my body, moved both of his hands to my butt cheeks, and squeezed, kneaded, and pulled them apart. A finger from each of his hands went to my hole and he started the opening up process while I sucked him off.
At length, he gently pushed me off him, rose, helped me up, turned me, and laid me on my back on the bed. I led him manipulate my legsâhe liked positioning me. He wanted total, unresisting surrender from the get go. He put a pillow under the small of my back to elevate and roll my pelvis up, bent and spread my legs, and pressed my feet flat on the edge of the bottom of the mattress.
For a half hour or more, he worked me over. He wanted me to come before he fucked me. He knelt below me and ate my ass out, reaming me with his tongue. He produced a cock sleeve and fucked my cock with it while he was eating me out. This was followed with work with a thick dildo. The workout was fine with me. I knew I had to be monstrously open to take his cock.
He worked me until I came for him, lathering his face with my cumâanother glorious climax in death,
la petite mort
, a little death, the goal for me, both for me and the man I was with, any man I let inside me. Laughing, he rose, went back to the desk, and snorted a few more lines of the Coke.
He came back to the bed, still in monstrous erection. Standing over me at the foot of the bed, he made a ceremony out of slowly rolling the condom on and lubing it and my ass channel up before crouching over me, capturing my eyes with his, pressing his fists into the mattress on either side of my shoulders and slowly, ever so slowly, working his cock into me, deep and thick. I grasped his biceps in my hands, panted hard, and gave him moans that weren't in the least bit feigned as they were with some of my customers. This was when it was for more than the moneyâwhen I was fully possessed by a man's shaft. He was big, all-consuming inside me. He had a gold medallion on a thick gold chain around his neck. The medallion dangled in front of my face, and I took it into my mouth, sucking on it to stifle my incentive to scream, as his hips began to move, fucking me in long, hard, deep strokes.
As he lowered his muscular, hirsute chest onto to mine, becoming more intimate in the embrace, and buried his face in my throat, my hands went, first to his shoulder blades, and then as the pace of his thrusts increased and my pelvis began to gyrate to meet the rhythm of the fuck, my hands glided down his back, and I palmed and clutched his bulbous, bouncing buttocks cheeks to me, ensuring that he remain inside me with the maximum access possible.
This. This was why I did thisâgive myself to men, become open and vulnerable to them, lie on my back and open my legs for them, letting them cover me, use me. I didn't do it just for the money, or even mostly for the moneyâthere were other, less vulnerable, less painful, ways of making money. It was having a man want me, need to be inside me, covering me. A hard-bodied man on top of me, enslaving me, mastering me, becoming one with me, inside me . . . fucking me.
He came, again and again, killing me with each jerk and release,