I sure as hell did not expect to end up here, yet here I was...
*****
Over the years I have done my fair share of good business on online market platforms, buying and selling everything from laptops to juicers. I was done-in once, but that happened because I'd been stupid. Subject to the usual bartering, everybody transacting online, had always been stand-up.
The item today was a small digital camera I wanted to get rid of.
David asked about the price and why I was selling, and we agreed on a time for him to come have a look at the camera. Nothing out of the ordinary to this arrangement, plus it was convenient, since I was working from home, and I did not have any online meetings for the rest of the day.
Right on time he called to say he was at the gate, so I buzzed him in and waited on the porch. He pulled up at the front door in a Jeep that looked as if it was actually used for its intended purpose -- and the guy who got out of the Jeep, looked as if he belonged in it.
I am in pretty good condition for my age, hiking and gymming to get rid of my stress and irritation -- but the guy in front of me looked big enough to carry a Jeep for the same hike! He flashed a smile at me over the roof of the Jeep, and approaching, I guessed him to be about ten years younger than me and in prime condition.
Handshakes exchanged, we moved inside, falling into easy conversation about why I was selling (when hiking I prefer using my phone to take pics, so I don't use it anymore) and why he wanted to buy a camera for his daughter (she developed an interest in birding)
"To be honest, I don't think this camera is the right option for that" I offered. "The kind of camera you need to take photographs of birds, is something in a very different category."
"True!" David grinned, "but I am not going to buy her something like that, until I am convinced that she is serious about this, and that she can look after a camera!"
Having raised two boys and accumulating 25 years of experience in "the newest fad", I could not fault his reasoning -- so there we were, nodding and grinning, affirming our membership to the brotherhood of fathers and husbands.
"You look to be in pretty good condition" David remarked, looking me up and down. "Do you just hike, or do you work out as well?"
"I try to hit the gym three times a week" I replied, happy to draw respect from a guy like him.
"We were not created to sit behind a computer all day" I lamented, "and as you get older, you can't just jump into long hikes anymore -- so I try to keep active!"
"You look to be in damn good shape -- I bet you could outlast me!" he grinned, still checking me out.
I always feel self-conscious receiving compliments, and I positively suck at responding appropriately.
"I doubt I am near to the condition to you are in!" I offered lamely.
"Bull!" David replied, gripping my shoulder. "If I had to guess, you are probably ten years older me? If I can look like you in ten years, I will be a happy man!"
I had no idea what to make of what was happening, or how to react to it all, so I ended up standing there with a stupid grin on my face, while he was squeezing my shoulder and upper arm as if inspecting a horse...
Then he stepped back, leaving me feeling...what...?
"Are you happy with our transaction?" He had his wallet out, counting the bills and holding them out to me.
"Uhm... yes of course!" I stammered, finally registering that I should do something other than gawp. I took the money and shoved it in my back pocket without counting it.
"So I will be off then? Thanks for the camera."
He didn't move.
I didn't either.
For some reason I wasn't making eye contact anymore. Instead, I was staring at his chest, my brain melting and my heart thumping like a tribal drum. Was I going insane, or having a stroke?
"I was thinking" he started quietly, "I have never done anything like this, but I have this fantasy."
There was no way I was not going to ask what his fantasy was! This had to be some ridiculous dream that I would wake from any second now...
I found myself studying the stitching of his shirt, wondering whether his shirts tore when he flexed his pecs -- anything not to wonder about his "fantasy", trying to ignore my hammering heart and the sudden lightheadedness overtaking me...
I heard David's voice from somewhere above my head, "I have always wondered about a moment like this -- with a real man..."
Why the hell was I not reacting...?? Was this one of those sleep-paralysis dreams...?
"Unless you tell me to leave...?"
For a moment it sounded as if David was faltering... (I hoped not -- but these types of dreams always ended in anti-climax -- or waking up!)
His voice firmed "How about I give you five hundred, and you give me a blow-job...?"
"Five hundred...??"
I cringed at my timid response.
I sounded tentative instead of pissed. I should be whipping his ass (or trying to!) rather than staring at his chest.
But here I was, sounding meek -- or even worse, whiney -- or as if I wanted to barter...?
"Listen! I am not trying to dis you or anything" he was saying, his voice raw, urgent, "but I have to know! I need this -- and I think you do too...?"
He waited...
