Everything will be fine, we will be alright, she will come, I tell myself repeatedly as I prepare her favorite pesto pasta with a side of grilled chicken breast for tonight date, it is Bailey favorite, she likes every dish I make but chicken and pasta is her favorite combo. It makes me feel good making her happy.
Lately, I am not so sure anymore, we have our difficulties but what couple doesn't fucking fight, our quarrels are frequent for the past few months than I would like, nothing to sweat about because we can easily resolve with a good back rub and it is me massaging her, I wouldn't say it is fair, but the massage always lead to make-up sex, so it is a win-win.
This time though our fight is bad, I don't remember exactly what I said to provoke her but whatever it is she screams at me bulging throat and all, it started off calm. We were having a nice dinner at her favorite restaurant and the waiter slips me his number and of course Bailey was upset, I will admit that I was sort of flirting with the guy, but it was innocent fun, Bailey didn't think so she furiously accused me of cheating, throwing insults and unearthing my flaws. I am not insensitive to why she was upset, but it wasn't a big deal and I apologize several times practically begging except for my flaws because that makes me...well me, she wouldn't hear me.
For the next following days, I give her space, on the third day I call and text, she ignores me at first and it took her until the fifth day to reply back, I show up at her doorsteps with a bouquet of roses and took her out for lunch, we part with a kiss on the cheek and hug with a promise for date night to mend our relationship and here we are on the sixth day.
We are having dinner at my place tonight, a part of me is hopeful saying I can fix this easy-peasy because me and Bailey always do while another part of me the one gnawing on my fucking brain is telling me to wake the fuck up, it is over, there is nothing wrong with you and all those stupid fucking fights you had, guess what? Bailey is the instigator. Don't you see the fucking red flags! Let her go.
I wrap that thought in a tight bundle hanging it on a hook at the back of my mind as I set up the table for two, a vase with fresh flowers in the middle, a bottle of decent quality wine and red candles for a romantic ambiance. Some scatter of petals on the table to make it cliché but I figure she will think it is sweet before I wash, shave and dress in a black button-down sleeveless shirt, it is Bailey favorite shirt, but I would wear it anyway because it shows off my biceps over black slacks. Eyeing the clock while I pretend the spoon and fork are drumsticks and the table, dishes along with the glasses are my drums.
Another glance and so far, I have been waiting for seventeen minutes and there still no sign of Bailey, she is probably stuck in traffic I tell myself as I continue to wait, tick-tick seventeen minutes turn to thirty-seven, I give her a call, the call goes straight to voicemail, it is obvious that she stood me up, I am piss there is no doubt about that but also content because I did my part. With the petals gather toward the edge of the table I throw them in the trash and my thoughts unfocused, the sudden chime of the doorbell causes me to jolt.
Maybe I am wrong about Bailey, I move quickly to open the door with a smile on my face which is mirror back at me but not from Bailey. "Pecan chocolate chip cookies for you, they are freshly baked. Hm?" Han my landlord's son happily pushes a plastic container toward me, he looks out of breath, and his cheeks are red like he participated in a triathlon, but his smiles is so infectious lifting my mood from cold rain clouds to hot sunshine, he has that effect on me, whenever I have a bad day just a few minutes with him talking about something trivial as the weather can make me feel whole again, and he is super friendly bringing me baked goods or homemade food often.
"Thanks." I take the container of cookies, his cheerful smile drop. "Is this a bad time?" He asks while I shake my head. "No, not at all. Why are you her--- Oh, the rent! That is right, would you like to come in?" He nods his head, I step aside to let him through the door, he gingerly makes his way in being careful of each step. Weird.
"Yum..., smell delicious, I like chicken." He walks off before I can show him in, there it is again his stride looks uncomfortable but thinking nothing of it I follow him to the kitchen where the table for a romantic dinner for two is still set up. "Shit, I am interrupting something." His shoulders slouch, I tap his biceps and I am kind of surprise that his muscles feel firm under my fingers because he looks skinny. "Don't even worry, she isn't coming but have a seat, I will be right back with the rent," I said pointing at the seat with my chin. "Okay, you do that, and may I eat this?" He sits down picking up the knife and fork getting ready to dig in, I swiftly take both of the plates away.
"You don't want to eat this, it is cold. I was going to throw it out anyway." He pins me with an angry glare like I slap his mother, he grabs the plates pulling it back toward him. "Throw away your perfectly grilled chicken and pasta. Your blood, sweat and tears! Are you nuts? This is what you will do, Mitch you will get my money and leave the food to me." I try to pull the dishes back, but he is determined refusing to let go making me chuckle. "Fine, have it your way." He smiles victoriously, "Of course!"
There are not a lot of men that I would call cute, but Han isn't just cute, he is dangerously stunning with his K-pop looks, he is mixed race half German and half Korean with the sweetest boyish face one has ever laid eyes on, he is as tall as me at five feet and eleven inches, but he is not as broad shoulders nor thickly built as me.
He is attractive albeit I feel a bit guilty because he is twelve years my junior, him being nineteen and me thirty-one, he is a recurring catalyst for Bailey to picks fight with me, she hates that I am bi it is my worst imperfection according to her, now that I think about it, she is crazily jealous and petty. The only thing I am guilty of is looking. Yeah, I don't need her phobic ass.
My phone abruptly vibrates so I excuse myself, I finally got a text from the she-devil, the message reads, "Sorry, I haven't been honest with you, but I have been seeing someone else for about three months and I like him better than you at the very least I don't feel insecure with him." My heart nosedive right into my stomach acid. After the shock comes anger. Seeing red, I smack the phone roughly on the kitchen counter feeling the hot bubbling tendrils of rage coiling around ever nerve in my body, it fucking burn, I want to scream and start throwing shit to ease the flames that is incinerating my insides, but I can't do it in front of Han, it wouldn't be polite, and he doesn't need to see so instead I scrub my face up and down to help me stay in control.
Barely. Bailey you fucking cheater. You fucking bitch! Han turns in his seat, "Are you alright?" I sigh forcing myself to relax the tensions in my shoulders. "Yeah, I will be right back." I walk off to my room needing a few minutes to cool off. I shut the door as normal as I can but once that door is click shut, I pick up a pillow throwing it irately across the room, the pillow smack into Bailey vanity knocking some of the make-up to the floor, the make-up I bought for her. She loves her dumb cosmetics; they all will feed the trash nicely, and I must be making a ruckus because there is a knock on my door.
"Mitch, are you sure you are alright?" Han asks concern in his voice; I drop the trash before opening the door keeping my blue eyes on the floor. "She...she cheated on me and this was supposed to be our date to.... Fuck!" I said in defeat. Sadness, disappointment, and rage battling inside, I guess I am not as strong as I think. Han pats me firmly bringing my eyes up to his face, "That is good news my friend you should be grinning ear to ear and doing the hokey pokey! You are a free man, but I know the real reason you are frowning you haven't eaten my cookies yet. Come."
Han wraps his hands around my wrist pulling me with him to the kitchen, he selects a cookie before holding it in front of my mouth, I take a bite taking the cookie from him, the taste of bittersweet chocolate, brown sugar and crunchy pecans flooded my tongue, sweet without being too much. Perfect. "Mmm...," I moan making Han smiles wider. "Right, now sit that handsome butt down." He winks giving me the container, I feel blood rushing toward my face unsure how to respond to his compliment, but he restarted me. "Since she is not here, I will be your date." He places the microwave warm pasta and chicken down. "You already are." Getting settle. Impromptu date it is, besides food tastes better sharing with one so gorgeous.
We eat and drink then eat his cookies again and drink some more, the "date" flow easy as we talk about our families and friends taking my mind off Bailey. When I begin to slip Han pulls me back in. Sitting across from him, I find it difficult to look away from him, he thinks I am making shit up when I told him that I have a little Southeast Asian blood in me because I look one-hundred percent Caucasian, the poster child of All-American white boy with my blue eyes and blonde hair, but it is true my great-great-grandmother is part Cambodian and French.
He squirms in his seat and chews his lower lips every handful of minutes or so looking uneasy, I decided not to ask just in case it will make him uncomfortable. "I wish I have your genetics, those jack arms of yours can crack a walnut," he jokes bringing a smile to my face, the more we talk the more I dread that date night will eventually end. "Thanks." His gaze drops to my naked arms, I feel his eyes tracing a path to my shoulders follow by going down my barrel torso then back up to my clavicle and neck, the tension in the slow sensual way he is checking me is so physical that I can almost feel it making me hot, his hazel brown eyes track my Adam's apple bobbing up and down before our eyes connect.
