That damn website ruined my life! I had been minding my own business, reading fun and raunchy stories on my favorite site when an author linked out to a site. I won't share it because I don't want any of you to fall into the same trap. But no one warned me.
I had been hard and sleepy when I clicked the link originally and have to admit the swirling colors were really nice to look at. I didn't realize until much later the subtle hints and messages it was drilling into my head. Days later after things started to happen I came back to find this page and found, to my horror, that I had indeed been hypnotized. I searched and searched for ways to reverse it but found no solution. Now I'm always stressed because I don't know what each day will bring.
Because of this damn site, I can't help but accept any dare I'm given... Here's my story. I hope it doesn't happen to anyone else.
-Brandon
After that night, my life was pretty normal for a few weeks. Work was boring, the gym was grueling, but my weekend were awesome. Being a pretty handsome guy, I got along great with the ladies and my group of equally fit and successful buddies were quite the 'in crowd' in our smallish Midwest town.
The first incident happened at Dusty's bar on a Saturday. My guys and I were having a good time and some of the hottest chicks were all there dancing together. I think it was someone's bachelorette party.
They had blown off some of our advances so for the night they were just eye candy and teases. After a bit, my buddy Dylan said we should give the bachelorette a night to remember. We all laughed and asked what his plan was.
"Nothing extreme, but someone should definitely let her know what she's missing getting hitched to some boring dweeb."
Rich asked, "How do you know who she's marrying? Maybe she's marrying me!"
"Idiot." Dylan rolled his eyes. "Although she's probably as good as you'd ever get."
We all laughed a bit at Rich and he joined in as well. All in good fun.
I broke the silence after that, "So, what are you going to do Dylan?"
"Well I was thinking, someone should go over and offer her an all-you-can eat sausage party for her last single night."
We all laughed at the idea. Clearly an easy way to get slapped.
"You know you'll get slapped," I said.
"Or worse!" Kevin added.
"She may knee you in the balls," Rich said before chugging back his beer.
"Well duh. That's why I won't do it. But someone else should!"
"Who's dumb enough to do that?" Kevin asked.
We sat in silence again, watching the girls dance around and against each other.
Rich piped up, "I mean, Brandon's the dumbest."
"What?!"
Dylan agreed. "That's true. He did get the lowest grades in high school."
"Hey! I graduated. That's a lot more than some folks can say from our town."
Rich said "Maybe, but at this table that still makes you the dunce."
"Ass."
Dylan really wanted to push this idea though. "Come'on Brandon. It'll be hilarious! And I'm sure she won't hit you."
Rich piled on, "Annnnd it may even lead to getting all of our dicks wet. You'd be our champion!"
Kevin laughed while claiming me "Dick Champion Brandon. Friend to all wet dicks!"
I stewed while the guys basically cried from laughter. "Come'on Brandon," Dylan finally pleaded. "Do it for me? I really could use a laugh."
"I could too! Why don't you do it?"
"Because, while you're the dumbest..."
"Ass."
"You're also the best looking."
"Gay."
Dylan ignored me. "If anyone has a chance of this working, it's you!"
"It's not going to work."
"It may..."
"My answer is no."
Then Rich ruined my life accidently. "I dare you!"
"What?" I asked.
Kevin said, "Really Rich? We're not still in high school. Do you want to double-dog dare him too?"
"Maybe..." Rich took a swig of his beer.
"You dare me to what, exactly?" I don't know why I was asking the question but something about his challenge was exciting. I wanted to know the rules of how to win the dare.
"I dare you to go over to her and ask if she wants an all-you-can eat dick buffet."
"Sausage buffet" Dylan corrected.
"Yes, sausage buffet. Ask if she wants to have an all-you-can eat sausage buffet on her last night of being single."
"And if she's as dumb as she is pretty, grab your junk to emphasize the point," Dylan tacked on to the dare.
Kevin sighed, "because I'm sure she won't get the obvious juvenile reference."
I finally concluded the discussion, "and that's it?"
"That's it." Rich said.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I shouldn't be doing this and I wouldn't be doing this in any other instance but I wanted to win this dare. I wanted to prove to Rich, Dylan, and Kevin that I wouldn't back down. That I was a real man. So I sighed, and got up.
"I hate you guys."
I walked onto the dance floor and made my way over to the group of girls. The bachelorette was easy to pick out with her sash and crown. As I approached some of her friends eyed me up. Some with an eye roll, some clearly upset that I was interrupting their fun, and some were enticed. As I said, I know I'm good looking.
"Excuse me ma'dam, may I ask as to why you would tie yourself down to a single planet when clearly someone as ethereal as you could have the universe?"
Cheesey? Probably. I usually didn't have to worry too much about what I said. I'm not ashamed to say it wasn't my vocabulary or 'smoothness' that got me laid.
He about choked on her drink as she laughed at me. "Really dude? Worst line ever and really dude? I'm about to get married."
"I... I know. I just wanted to tell you how beauti..."
"Look. Flattered. You're cute and I'm sure you don't get turned down a lot, but I'm happy with my decision. I'd rather just dance with my girl friends tonight."