Once I would have pushed his hand away but now? Well a lot of water has passed under the bridge since that first day I spent with Danny and certainly I am a much different human being, having discovered the real me, which is mainly thanks to Danny's persuasion and deep compassion.
He helped me to realise and understand something which had secretly been hidden for some time, something of which I was ridiculously ashamed of - all those things I did with myself in experimentation, to gratify the most innermost feelings I realised when I reached puberty, when my hormones were going mad, but when I realised I was not like most others of my sex, them liking girls and such, me fancying boys.
But I kept it all dark, because I didn't realise there were others of my leaning, but of course there must have been and they were probably like me, very shy and very ashamed of what they were thinking and doing was wrong. And myself, having come from a Catholic family - if my parents ever knew it would have been a disaster.
I managed to keep all my secrets to myself altho0ugh carelessly once or twice I was almost caught by my mother, who coming into the bedroom without knocking, almost caught me experimenting per anal with a bulbous screwdriver handle - just in time I managed to flick the duvet over me, only the mirror was in an ominous position but I managed to explain that by telling mum I had it down there on the floor against the chest of drawers because I was cutting my toe nails.
Although she did catch me once masturbating and was I embarrassed! After that she always knocked before she came into my bedroom,. I suspect realising that her little boy had grown up in more ways than one, but she never said a word about it, she simply smiled and departed quickly closing the door.. But back to Danny, the guy I love and the guy I sleep with, I was ready as always for his need of me. It was good and wonderful the way he always pampered me before he had me. And that first time I slept with him, with another guy completely nude was really gorgeous, the thrill and excitement of feeling and touching in the night, the smell of him, the taste of him, all so very wonderful and meaningful.
I vouch now that without love, the sexual experience cannot truly last like it has with us, for a whole year at least, and we never tire of being with each other in the most full and intimate way.
At first some of the things he wanted, and some of the things he wanted me to do seemed repellent to me, like for instance he loved to gag me with his worn briefs when he fucked me. And yet, under the spell of lust and all Danny had done in such a very gentle and unrushed way, made it all seem good and right and beautiful.
I have many times thought of that, of how when being under the spell of lust and love with the one you want so very much, how all you inhibitions go which makes it so wonderful and special to use all those dirty words you'd never use ordinarily, well I wouldn't anyway, and then the things you do, which become bog standard when you are making it together in the most intimate way, all the sucking, the poking, tying up, and all the oral sex you could wish for, having his cock and balls smother you, which with Danny I love and I know he loves me doing, he stretching my ass cheeks so wide apart as he does his thing with mouth and tongue between, giving me so many beautiful vibrations.