Dancing

I've just been reading your comments and mails on chapter 1, thank you! I didn't realise it looked like I had dropped off the face of lit, although I was surprised it had been two months - I've been writing loads, just not finishing anything. I will try and get something new up before too long, promise, I'm getting there with some m/m and m/f stories, and have started on some more Were ones as well.

Anyway, here's the last chapter of this one...

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I took the lead, keeping Matt's hand in mine, and taking him into my bedroom. I had a moment of nerves about this, and found myself shaking slightly. I knew we were not going to have sex, but taking him to my room, even just to sleep, was more than I had ever expected to happen. I had to tread carefully because I knew what lurked in his past and I couldn't scare him away from me. We had only slept together the night he told me about his rape. That had been unplanned, this time I was not going to wear my clothes to bed, but I'd need to wear something and I didn't know what would make Matt comfortable.

"Um, what should we find to sleep in?"

"What do you usually wear?"

"Nothing... I've got some pyjamas or jogging bottoms though," I added hurriedly because he looked concerned at the idea of me wearing nothing.

"Have you got two pairs of pyjama bottoms? We're the same size, just about, that would be okay."

I found them and handed him a pair.

"T-shirt too?"

He went shy on me again, and it was so cute I wanted to kiss him again.

"No. I want some contact between us."

That made me think of something else that might be more unwelcome contact.

"Matt, I can't promise I'm not going to get hard if we're in bed together. I can promise not to do anything about it."

"It's okay, I trust you. Plus I can't guarantee the same won't happen to me!"

I was glad to hear he trusted me and also glad that being with me might turn him on. Even if nothing would happen, it was reassuring to know. I left him to change in the bedroom while I went to the bathroom. I might never see him naked, despite what he said, but it really didn't matter. Just the thought that he was going to get into bed with me was enough to have me starting to harden, and I tried to will it away so I wouldn't scare him off before we even got there. It wasn't working.

The sight of him stood nervously by my bed when I got back to the room, especially half naked as he was, didn't help either and I felt myself swelling further. I lay down quickly and got under the covers so I could keep it out of the way. I sighed as he got in and settled down beside me, or rather pressed his body right against mine. It felt good to hold him, especially with our naked chests together. I'd seen his chest but he'd never seen me without a top on, and he seemed fascinated.

"You're all furry!"

"Just think of me as a giant teddy bear. Does it bother you?"

"No, I think it's sexy."

He certainly found it interesting, but I had to stop him running his fingers through it after only a couple of minutes.

"Sorry, but that really turns me on, and it's a bit much right now."

He apologised, but I don't think he realised how much of an understatement that had been. Years with no human contact, and just those simple touches were making me tingle in such a way I was fully erect and aching. He had to stop before I came. Maybe it was just because it was him. I gave him a smile and then a kiss, and he grabbed at me to continue it. Rapidly it became a replay of the one from earlier, intense and full of need and passion, with the most beautiful hard body wrapped around me. No, my beautiful boyfriend wrapped around me. That thought made me moan.

We didn't let up for quite a while, knowing this time we weren't going to be interrupted and we both wanted to explore, touch and taste. He felt so good under my hands I kept running them softly across his back and down his side but not into any sensitive areas. His hands on me were driving me crazy, even though his touches were light too. The kiss wasn't light, although it became more so as we both started to tire, and to need to breathe. When he finally drew back from my lips it was to yawn, and I laughed softly.

"Perhaps we should get some sleep. We can do this again tomorrow."

"And every day after that," he murmured, starting to fall asleep already. I smiled at him even though his eyes were closed.

"Yes, every day after that too, my angel."

I was also asleep before long, feeling safe and warm wrapped up with Matt, and happy now that we had sorted out what was happening, and in the best way possible. I had the most gorgeous man in the world as my boyfriend, and it wasn't just pretend any longer.

The next morning I woke to the alarm, and was greeted to a shy smile that I took the opportunity to kiss away. His hair was messed and his eyes still sleepy, but he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I really could be happy just with this. My day got even better when we got to work and saw the papers. The place was buzzing because all the reviews were good. That was worth the hard work on its own, but it also meant we'd sell loads more tickets and probably get a longer run. Nothing could take the shine off the day, or the coming weeks.

I had Matt by my side through all of it and I couldn't believe my luck. Something awful had happened to me, but it had brought me the love of my life. Every morning started with us curled up together kissing, and every night ended the same. In between we both worked at a job we loved, and every day just seemed to get better. I'd got to the point of thinking nothing could get better, and then one night Matt sprang a surprise on me.

"My lease is up in a month, so I need to find somewhere else to live."

I looked at him surprised, because he actually seemed nervous. He wanted me to ask him.

"You're actually worried that I wouldn't want you to move in here? Matt, we barely spend a moment apart and I love it. I love you, and I want you to move in with me. In fact, we're off tomorrow, let's go get your stuff."

He started laughing. "Impatient, aren't you! I'll still be here even if I haven't moved everything."

"But why wait? To be honest, it was dumb of me not to suggest it earlier."

"We've only been together a month."

"So what? We've spent every day together for two months, and every moment of that has been amazing. I don't want you to go anywhere. It's up to you, I'm not pushing for this, but you really would be here anyway."

"Yeah, I know. I was just looking for some reassurance."

I moved to give him a huge hug.

"I love you, you muppet. What more reassurance do you need?"

"I don't know. I just keep thinking that you're going to wake up and realise what you've got yourself into and not want it, not want me."

He looked so dejected I put my arms around him tighter and kissed him gently.

"Please Matt, you have to believe me, I want you and I love you. I'm not going to push you away because I'm not getting laid. That is not as important to me as you are."

"I want us to be able to do that though, I just can't seem to get past my hangups. I mean, I think about it, and I get hard when we kiss and touch, but I freeze up if I make a move towards your dick. I hate being like this, I love you and I want to be able to show that."

"You do show that, with every kiss and touch you give me. It's enough."

"Aren't you getting sick of wanking in the shower?"

I spluttered slightly, surprised it was quite so obvious and that he was commenting on it.

"No. I'm sorry about that, but sometimes I need a release. It doesn't matter that you aren't giving it to me."

"I wasn't judging. I jerk off in there as well, I just wish I was giving you that release, and that you could do the same for me."

"If and when you're ready, I will. If not, we carry on as we are," I shrugged. I'd really got no problem with any of this, which was possibly because I was a little screwed up as well, but it didn't matter if it worked for both of us.

The rest of the day Matt was quiet. I hoped that he wasn't still worrying about what he thought I wanted, but I didn't think it was going to help if I kept trying to persuade him I didn't want that. It was the first tense day we had had in a long while, and yet it had started out with us agreeing to move in together, which should have been a good thing. I was frustrated that he didn't understand me even after all the time we spent together and all I told him.

It was time for bed before he really spoke to me again, not that he'd been ignoring me, but he'd been so deep in thought that I'd not got much out of him.

"I've been thinking..."

He tailed off so I took over.

"I know. Do I need to remind you that I love you."

He smiled. "I don't mind hearing it. But that's not what I was thinking about, I believe you. I just want something more for us. Before you say it, not because I think you are missing out and I have to for your sake, but I want it for me as well. I don't think I'll ever entirely get over what happened, but if I can never have sex again, then it's like I'll never be well. And I know I want you, I'm just not ready for everything just yet."

"So we wait until you are. I'm glad you think about it, that's a big step. And I do understand it, I didn't think I'd want anyone close after what Ben did, but here we are and I couldn't be happier."

"Okay, but what if I've been thinking of some things that might not scare me, some things I want to try."

My ears, and another part of me, pricked up.

"What things? If you want to try anything we can, we'll just go slow and can stop at any time."

He went all shy on me again, and I had to try and kiss it away. He kind of wriggled in my arms, making it clear he wanted to keep talking, so I let him move his head into my shoulder so he could do it without looking at me. He was so sweet when he got embarrassed.

"There's two things, but the first is a bit selfish, and the other is a bit weird."

"Selfish? That means you want me to do something for you but you're not ready to reciprocate? I would love to do anything that will make you feel good, and I guarantee I will enjoy it anyway. Tell me what you want baby."

I was tingling with anticipation of the chance to touch him, stroke him, whatever he wanted. It might mean another trip to the shower but it would be a small price to pay. He didn't answer though, still shy, so I put a finger under his chin to encourage him to tilt his head back so I could kiss him. He was blushed a beautiful shade of pink. I kissed him, making sure it was one of our deep drugging kisses that lasted for several minutes, and was going to turn him on enough that hopefully he would tell me. When I finally released him he actually whimpered.

"Oh god. Please, I want you to touch me, to touch this."

His final word was accompanied by his erection being thrust into my leg. That was a first. Not him being hard, but him deliberately making me aware of it. It felt good, and him asking me to do something with it, that was music to my ears. I kissed him again, softly, before making sure I knew exactly what he was expecting.

"Do you want me to stroke you, or suck you?" I asked softly into his ear. I knew my voice was deeper due to my need to do something, but I had to make sure I wasn't going to scare him. This would have to be done just right.

"Anything you want. I need you to make me come. Just don't go near my ass."

That was pretty much a given, but the chance to get to touch his cock had me hard and aching already. I'd never even seen it, aside from a bulge in his clothes. We were still laid on top of the covers, and I could see it now straining against the cotton covering it. I really wanted to see as well as touch.

"I won't. Can I take these off?" I asked, lightly touching the waistband of his bottoms.

"Okay," he murmured, but this one was less needy, and more nervous. He hadn't been naked in front of someone for a long time, and that he would trust me to do that made me just love him more.

I kissed away his nerves, rolling him onto his back but not covering his body with mine. I wanted to, but I also wanted him to know he could stop me at any time, so I was by his side, only leaning slightly over him so I could reach. My hand stroked over his smooth chest, taking the time to explore it, and running over his nipples which made him gasp. I'd have to see what my mouth on them was going to do to him. I pulled back from our kiss eventually, needing to move down his body, but having to say one final thing.

"If you want me to stop, any time, you only have to say," I whispered, praying he wouldn't.

It felt like I was shaking almost as much as he was as I started to make love to him. My mouth drifted down his neck after my words into his ear, and I kissed gently and trailed my tongue down his skin to his shoulder. I kissed over his throat and down onto his chest, noting his breathing was getting fast but it was not panic, it was need. My first quick lick over one nipple had him moaning, so I settled in, licking and sucking but resisting the urge to bite, as I rolled the other with my finger. It didn't take much of that for him to start begging me to move, to touch him, but I still took my time. I slid my tongue across his tight stomach, tracing the hollows between the muscles and spending a little time tongue fucking his belly button.

He was panting and moaning and it was the most incredible sight. I'd got him into this state, and it could only get better. I knew he wanted to come, and I was looking forward to drinking his seed, but I couldn't stop myself from playing with him now that I had access. I was nearly at the main attraction though, and a quick glance down drew my attention. He was obviously very hard, and there was a substantial wet patch where the head was trying to break through the cotton. I mouthed it gently and he almost screamed with pleasure.

I had to lift myself up then so I could remove the clothes that were in my way. His dick leapt out of its confines, but I took the time to remove the trousers totally, needing to see all of him. His legs were just as defined as the rest of him, with only a light covering of hair. Perhaps more than was obvious because all his body hair was light. His pubes were darker, trimmed neatly, and formed a springy mattress around the hard and leaking pole on display. I just looked for a moment, savouring the intimate view I had of him. He wasn't excessively long or thick, maybe seven inches, but nicely rounded and perfectly formed. I didn't know why, but I fell in love with his cock too.

That decided, I had to taste him properly. I licked up some of the precum on the tip and it made my mouth water with wanting more. I became rather more frantic then, spurred on by his moans of 'please' and 'fuck' and my name said with such desire. I took him all into my mouth and throat, massaging the head with my muscles and drooling down the length as my tongue worked around his shaft. Then I pulled back for a bit, gently jacking him as I caressed his head with my tongue, working it into his slit for a while before trailing it around the edge where his foreskin had pulled back.

The feel of his hard cock in my mouth, the taste of him, and the frantic moans and cries I could hear were having quite an effect on me too. I couldn't touch myself as I had one hand on his cock and the other placed to help hold me up, so I started to hump at the mattress to get some relief from the ache at my groin. I needed to come too, even if he couldn't help me. My efforts on his cock increased and I was bobbing on him, keeping my lips tight so I gave some suction as I lifted up, but never letting him free from my mouth where I wanted him to be.

I felt him getting harder and knew it was nearly time. I didn't want it to end, but somehow I felt sure he would want this again. My hips moved faster, grinding my erection down into the bed even though I wasn't sure it would be enough. His back arched off the bed and he really did scream this time, the sound seeming to go on for ages as his cum flooded my mouth. I swallowed quickly, surprised at how much he was giving me but loving it, and one final thrust into the bed had me following him, pumping my seed into the material. I held it together somehow so I could take the last of his spurts and clean him up gently as he started to soften. Shit, that had been the best sex I'd ever had, and he hadn't even touched me.

His hands moved me away after a few moments. I might not have stopped licking him otherwise, because I couldn't get enough of his flavour or the feel of his cock. I moved up the bed so I could gather him to me and he surprised me with a passionate kiss thanking me. When he finally let me go, although not very far, I started to giggle slightly.

"You're welcome," I told him.

"That was incredible," he whispered, his eyes showing a beautiful afterglow that made me want to try and do it again, right now even though we were both spent.

"I agree."

"Now, about my other idea..." he began, with a sexy grin. "Don't you need a shower now?"

Even with the look in his eyes and the teasing smile, it took me a moment to get what he was saying, and it surprised me again.

"You want to watch me in the shower?"

"Yes. I know it sounds a bit odd, but I don't want any surprises if... no, when, I do something for you."

He wanted to watch me masturbate. It didn't sound odd, it sounded both sensible for him and a turn on for me, if the fact my cock had started filling again was any indication.

"Not odd. And that would be great. Tomorrow night, okay?"

He looked kind of disappointed, expecting me to need to go sort myself out right now. My mind warred between telling him what had happened, and possibly upsetting him that I'd not been able to control myself, or not telling him and having him think I wasn't turned on by what we had just done. Tell him won out as his face continued to fall.

"I already came baby, I don't think I could get it up again right now no matter how sexy your idea is. I promise you can watch me tomorrow."

"How? When?"

I actually blushed. He didn't sound upset though, just interested.

"Sucking you really turned me on, and I was kind of humping at the bed because of all the cute sounds you made. Then when you came, I did too."

He glanced down my body and saw the proof, my trousers were soaked, and he grinned at me.

"It was really that good for you?"

"The wet patch doesn't lie!"

"I guess I can wait until tomorrow," he said, pouting slightly as if put out, but the way his eyes were twinkling as he said it made me not believe him. He thought it was hot that I'd come like that. I was glad he didn't mind, and I liked the idea of stroking myself with him watching my every move. I wasn't an exhibitionist, but having my lover watch was a hot idea. I wondered how many more of them he would start to have now that his sexuality was waking up.

If we never got to it I wouldn't care, but one of these days I'd like to think he'd feel able to fuck me. Ben was a total bottom and I'd missed having a cock in me. Matt's would be just perfect for it, large enough to make it feel great, but not so big that it would be difficult to take. Even without his issues, he'd probably not want to take me once he saw what I was packing. I lay there thinking about him making love to me, hard and fast, and started to wonder if I would need that shower after all. I was broken out of my fantasy when Matt spoke.

"What are you thinking about?"

His eyes were on my crotch, so he'd definitely noticed that I had grown hard while I was letting my imagination run away with me.

I went red, and could only mumble. "Sorry."

"I don't mind you getting hard... Oh... that apology means you were thinking about something you reckon I won't want to do." He went silent for a moment, and I just stayed looking embarrassed and trying to will my erection down. His next question was very quiet. "Were you thinking about fucking me?"