Curiosities Satisfied More Please

Steve and I had worked together for several years. We were always friendly to each other and enjoyed spending time in hotel bars together on business travel. I always assumed Steve to be gay. His mannerisms and lifestyle seemed pretty typical for that. I know that sounds prejudicial but in some respects, I guess that's why I enjoyed spending time with him. It was a covert way of me experiencing my curiosities.

My curiosities? Yes, for many years now I have recognized a leaning towards homosexuality, or at least not 100% straight. My wife knows this. We've talked, role played, explored this facet of my sexuality. She has always been accepting and supportive, even to the extent of giving me a hall pass for homosexual play dates. No heterosexual play dates, however. Even being out to her made a big difference in how I felt about my interest in sex with men.

My first, and only until now, experience was not very satisfying. It didn't turn me off to same sex relationships, but did help me identify my mental and emotional blocks to playing with another man. The concern over STDs and hookups with random strangers prevented me from exploring and even being in the moment.

Back to hotel bars with Steve. The first time I got a hint that Steve may be interested in me was after several drinks together. During the conversation, he showed a lot of interest in my personal side. I reciprocated with conversation about his interests and aspirations. Through the evening, our body language became more open towards each other. I liked that and tried to show interest in the way things were going. Steve ordered the last round of drinks and said he was taking his to his room. I agreed that I was headed up as well. When we reached our floor, we chatted briefly before going in opposite directions. But the intriguing thing I remember is his reference to being given an extra big suite this stay. I guess I'm a little slow on the uptake, but as I look back, that may have been a disguised invitation to 'see' his hotel room. But, it did make me think there was some shared sexual interest between us.

We returned to the office and over the next several weeks there was just normal interaction. I try hard to not mix personal and work. We attended a few of the same meetings, exchanged a few work emails. Very normal.

I had a need to talk with him about a work issue one day so I sent him an instant message asking if he had time to chat. He suggested we meet in a n area where the office has some sofas and casual chairs. He got there first and sent me an IM telling me where he was sitting. We chatted. I was conscious of my body language, trying to be open. We chatted about the recent holidays and concluded our business. When I got back to my desk, I noticed he had sent me an IM from our meeting location prior to me getting there. I didn't know you could do that.

I used this as an opportunity to plant a seed covertly sharing my openness to exploring homosexuality. I sent him an IM... 'Question for you...' He responded, 'What do you need?' I sent, 'I'm curious.' Paused. He replied, 'About?' I type, 'How did you send the IM when not at your desk?' My subliminal messaging... 'I'm curious.' Now to wait to see if that seed grows, maybe with a little fertilizer.

It was a couple of months before our work schedules put us in the same city together again. We really hadn't had much contact in the mean time. We were staying in the same hotel and ended up in the bar again. We talked, caught up on work changes before exhausting that topic and moving onto to personal lives.

'So, you're married?' he asked. I replied 'Oh... yes. She's great. Very happy together.' He said, 'I thought so, but you threw me before when you said you 'were curious' before I realized you were asking about how to IM.' 'Ha! Yes, I can see where that might be unclear out of context. But, I would never have such a conversation at work or on any work IM or email system.'

'We aren't at work and we're just talking, so have you ever been, curious that is?' He asked.

'That's an abrupt subject change.' I said with a nervous laugh. He said nothing and left the question hanging. 'I suppose, yes.' I said.

'Does she know?'

'She does'

'And how does she feel about that?'

'She's ok with it. We've been pretty adventuresome at times.'

'Ever experimented?'

'Just once. Wasn't that great for a variety of reasons. Mostly the guy was pushy and I never could relax into it. Too nervous.'

'Too nervous about what?'

'STDs, hooking up with a serial killer, being at the wrong place at the wrong time...'

'So, not about her finding out?'

'No. We kind of have an arrangement. As long as she knows about it and it isn't a woman. I can't believe I'm telling you this!'

'Why are you?'

'I don't know. Just going with the flow, I guess.'

'So would you do it again? If the situation were better?'

'Maybe. Just depends.'

'On...?'

'You're persistent!'

'Just talking is all.'

'Right guy, right time, right place, some one trustworthy... In all ways.'

'How so? You can trust me. I'm not going to tell anyone.'

'No STDs obviously is big, and some one who I'm somewhat familiar with. Enough to rule out being a serial killer!'

'Hummm... Sounds like me!'

'But there's the work thing.'

'We're not at work right now.'

'Are you suggesting we...?'

'Why not. Let me help with that curiosity. That's what you really meant when you typed that, right? Maybe not consciously, but...'

'I don't know. I mean, it's a better situation, sure, but...'

'Let's take our drinks up to my room and see how things go. We can do nothing, or as little or as much as you want.'

'This place is boring, so...ok. But no promises on anything.'

'Of course!'

'I'm going to stop by my room first, then come to yours.'

'Don't back out!'

'I won't, but still no promises.'

'No promises. You can trust me.'

'I know. That's the only reason I'm agreeing to this.'

I left the bar and headed to my room. I wanted to freshen up since I didn't know what would happen. He stayed to close his tab. When I got to my room, my heart was racing with nervous anticipation. I took a Cialis just in case. Then I stripped and jump in the shower. As I stood there naked seeing myself in the mirror, I thought about what was about to happen. If we did anything, how would it change me?

I jumped the shower and just rinsed off. I wanted to be clean but not appear like I prepped. I had a water bottle there, so I gave my self a quick cleansing enema. I kept hearing him in my head, 'as little or as much.' I didn't know but wanted to be prepared if he wanted to fully initiated me. I dried, got dressed and headed to his room. The Cialas was starting to take effect and I was getting firm with anticipation.

I knocked on his door. He opened it and I went in. He had changed clothes and was more casual; jeans and T shirt, no shoes. He handed me another beer.

'I got another couple of rounds to go when I left. I wanted to keep things loose,' he said with a smile. 'Relax. Kick off your shoes. Have a seat.'

I followed his direction mostly because I wanted to show him I would follow. I sat on the couch and he grabbed the remote and sat beside me but with some space. After a few minutes he moved closer.

'Is this ok?' He asked.

'Yes.'

'Ok. Tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable or if I move too fast.'

'It's good.' Is what I said but really wanted to jump right in to messing around but slower would be better I reasoned.

He began to rub him hand over he crotch and I could tell he was hard.

'Still doing ok?' He asked.

'Still ok,' I said watching him rubbing his crotch. I was getting hard.

'It looks like you're doing ok!' He said eyeing my crotch where my penis was increasingly pressing against its confinement. I nervously laughed.

'Tell me to stop if we're going too fast.'

'I will.' I had no intention of stopping at that point.

He unzipped his pants and slipped his hand inside his underwear. I could see the head of his now stiff cock protruding out. I felt my cock responding to the moment with a growing erection of my own.

'Still ok?'

'Yes.'

'Then you have some catching up to do.'

I unzipped my pants and began playing with my cock. After a few minutes if watching each other, I decided to give myself to the moment and to him. I stood up and undressed. My cock was hard. I sat back down beside him. He began to slowly stroke me.

'I'm going to quit asking if you're ok. I get the feeling you are.' I didn't say anything as he stroked me. Then he leaned down and took my cock in his mouth. He worked it up and down while grabbing my scrotum with a firm grip and pulling down. He stopped, stood up and undressed. He put one leg on the couch beside me and his hands on the wall. He leaned forward moving his stiff cock close to my face.

'Nothing to worry about with me. Now it's your turn.' He put a hand on my head and guided his cock into my mouth. The warmth and soften texture of his skin contrasted against the hard erection. It was my first time and it felt so good physically, emotionally and psychologically. It was more than I had imagined all those times I'd masturbated to this fantasy. I was lost in the moment and gave into him. We found a rhythm and maintained it bringing him close to a climax. But, he stopped me.

He pointed over to the bed and told me to lay down on my back. I complied. He took a position on his knees between my legs. He began to slowly stroke me and bringing my hard erection back he let his fingers explore my balls and sack, sometimes squeezing hard to the brink of a dull ache. I would arch and moan and he would smile and then release. He did that several times and I never protested. It was kind of a power move by him to test my level of compliance.

His fingers moved lower and he began to finger my asshole. I moaned to signal my openness to this.

'Don't move,' he said as he went to the vanity area. He returned with what I soon learned was a small bottle of lube. He placed a small amount on his finger and then caressed my asshole again. I did not protest. I was lost in the cocktails and cocktails of emotions.

'Can I penetrate you?' He asked.

'... yes.'

I felt him slide his finger into me. I relaxed, moaned, and arched. I felt a rush of emotions overwhelm me. I wanted more. He continued to stroke me, taking me into his mouth, and probing my ass with his finger. I was close to coming when he stopped.

'I want you to fuck me.' I said. I don't know where that came from, but I just kind of said it without thinking. It's what I was feeling I guess.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes. I want you to be the first. I want you to fuck me.' I said eagerly and nervously, like someone getting on a rollercoaster.

'Are you ready to do that?'

'Yes.'

Nothing else was said. He motioned for me to roll over onto my stomach. I did. He knelt between my legs and began to caress my ass to relax me. He ran his hands over my body bringing me deep into the moment.

His hands slowly began to circle my anus. Then he began to slip him fingers inside me , first one then two then three. I was relaxing in preparation for him entering me. He spread my cheeks and circle his lubed fingers around my anus. This made want to feel him inside even more. He teased me for what seemed like forever. Then I felt his knees push against my legs spreading me wider. Nothing was being said. My body was his to take. He leaned over me and I felt his hard cock sliding between my cheeks, pausing over my anus. Increasingly, he would push his penis into me but my body wasn't yielding yet.

Then with the head of his cock positioned perfectly, he lowered his body onto me and pressed his hips forward. I felt him fully penetrate my with a pop as his head pushed past my sphincter. It was such incredibly intense ecstasy. In that moment I felt emotions that had been suppressed for so long. I felt my body give way to his rhythmic thrusts. I heard him taking pleasure in my body. I felt his orgasm building with my own.

He stopped, pulled me to my knees and then immediately reentered me. He fucked me deeper and deeper. I felt as though I could come just with this. I could see my cock flailing between my legs and see the tip glistening with pre-cum.

'I'm going to cum in you!' He breathlessly said. I felt him pull me close and he tried to get as deep as possible. I felt his cock tense and then his thrusting stopped. The only thing I felt was the twitching of his cock as his balls pumped semen into my ass. Then he pulled me upright with his cock still in me and grabbed my cock. With just a few strokes I was coming hard. We collapsed on the bed.

As I lay there, I felt waves of emotions pass over me. From fear, to relief, to satisfaction, to happiness, to peacefulness. Then I felt tears and an emotional outpouring. I was realizing for the first time I was a homosexual, or at least not entirely straight. The frustration and anger from all those years of repression and fear were melting away. I had such clarity in the moment about my sexuality.

We said very little to each other as we cleaned up and got dressed. I hugged him, kissed him softly and told him how much I appreciated what just happened.

'We'll do this again. Now I'm curious about what else you'd be willing to do together.' He said.