Hey all! I'm back after a long absence with this anthology series. Each chapter is a different guy who falls victim to our protagonist's dad's charms. Will he ever lose his virginity? We'll find out!
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My name is Leo, and I'm an 18-year-old virgin.
Ugh, it feels gross just to admit that. I know what you're thinking--plenty of people don't lose their virginities until their late teens or early twenties. What's the issue? But you don't understand! I want to lose my virginity more than anything, but every time I get close to a guy, my dad swoops in and ruins everything.
It's not that I think my dad is a bad guy or anything. He's always been a good dad: kind, caring, not afraid to show emotion or be vulnerable. He was nothing but supportive when I came out of the closet a few years ago, and in our small town, that's not something to take for granted. He's a great husband to my mom, too. They seem so happy sometimes it honestly makes me feel a little queasy inside. But for whatever reason, he is the world's number one cockblock.
It doesn't help that he's objectively fucking hot. I mean, I'm not into him, obviously--he's my dad, for Christ's sake! Talk about yuck. But that doesn't mean I don't see why other guys would be all over him. It's not like he's got a six-pack or anything, but he's beefy and muscular from years of working construction. I guess he's like a bear, kind of, since he's pretty hairy and he's got a crew cut and that thick mustache. It's really furry.
I'm nothing like that, sadly. I've always been short, and I'm about as pale and smooth as a porcelain doll. But I like to think I'm hot in my own right! I get a lot of compliments on my curly brown hair and I've always had a perky ass. When we're at the beach, guys are always doing a double-take to see me in my little swim trunks. Of course, then they see my dad, and they forget all about me...
Anyway, enough about him. This is about my boyfriend, Kevin. He's so dreamy! Kevin is my first-ever boyfriend, and the story of how we got together is actually really fucking cute.
We're both seniors and until recently, I never thought I could score a hunk like him. He's an actor, and a really fucking good one. I watched him perform in Grease for all ten runs. He was such a good Danny Zuko. He's got that dark-haired, brooding look to him, and his scruff is so fucking sexy. I actually auditioned just to be close to him, but I didn't make the cut (that's neither here nor there).
That didn't stop my crush, though. He was straight, as far as I knew, but I can be persistent when I want to be so I didn't think that would be an issue. I stayed late after his final performance even though he'd never so much as said a word to me before. But when he came out from backstage, his hair still greased back, there I was in my tightest pair of shorts clutching a bouquet of daisies.
"Omigosh, you were so amazing!" I said, racing over to him before any of the other fangirls had a chance to swoop in.
He did that sexy head nod thing that guys do and took the flowers from me. "Thanks."
"I hope you're going to keep acting after high school," I said, touching his wrist. "You're so talented."
He gave me a humble smile. "Nah, I'm going to be a mechanic like my dad."
I gasped. "No! What a loss."
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I know. I auditioned for NYU, but... I didn't get in."
I shook my head ruefully. "They don't know what they're missing. But seriously, don't give up. We need more actors like you."
He laughed a little and scratched the back of his head. "You really think so?"
One of the other actors, a tall, bro-y guy named Jason, clapped him on the shoulder. "Yo, you riding with me?"
"Yeah man," said Kevin. He looked at me for a moment, then tilted his head. "Hey... we're having a little cast party after this. You wanna come?"
My heart skipped a beat. My all-time crush was not only talking to me, but inviting me to a party. Fuck yes!
"Sure," I said nonchalantly.
"Rad," said Kevin.
That was how I ended up in the backseat of Jason's mom's Honda Accord, headed to a party with the future love of my life. Kevin and Jason sat in the front, chatting about the play and who was gonna bring beer to the party. I just sat in the back, reveling in my good luck and workshopping my plan to get in Kevin's pants by the end of the night.
The party was at some girl's parents' house out in the sticks. It was already in full swing when we arrived. I could hear loud bass music thumping from inside the house before I even got out of the car. The second I walked through the door, Kevin and Jason headed straight for the beer keg, leaving me all alone.
No matter. I knew how to socialize just fine, and besides, I didn't want to come on too strong with Kevin. Better to work the room a little and then make my move once I had the lay of the land. I filled a cup full of cranberry juice and vodka and sipped at it, scanning the room of actors. I spotted the guy who played Kenickie chugging a beer in the center of the room, the foam spilling all over his tanned, shirtless torso. Rizzo was in the corner gossiping with Sandy, and they were both shooting looks at Kenickie as he burped loudly and crushed the can against his forehead.
A girl stood up on the coffee table and turned the music down on her phone. I recognized her as the girl who played Principal McGee, although I think her name was Rachel or something.
"Okay guys," said Rachel (?) with a slight slur in her voice. "Who wants to play Spin the Bottlleeee?"
Cheers sprang out across the room. We all gathered in a circle as Rachel (actually, now I'm thinking it was Rebecca) grabbed an empty bottle of AndrΓ© and placed it in the middle. For a brief moment, my heart stopped as I realized that Kevin was nowhere to be seen. But he soon emerged from the back hallway, zipping his pants.
"Sorry, I had to piss!" he said as he took a seat across the circle from me.
I blushed. God, to be a fly on the wall in that bathroom.
The game started out simply enough--Principal McGee kissed Roger, Rizzo kissed one of the stagehands, and Sandy sucked face with Kenickie (to Rizzo's chagrin). One of the tech girls spun the bottle and landed on the girl who did costumes, which got a lot of whoops and hollers as they swapped spit for a few seconds. Then it was Kevin's turn, and my heart was beating out of my fucking chest.
"Come on bro!" said Jason as Kevin grabbed the bottle and spun.
It felt like the world stopped for a moment, the sound dropping away until all that was left was Kevin, the bottle, and me. I watched it like a hawk, praying to God or Satan or whoever had the power to stop that bottle right on me. It started to slow, and for one sickening moment I thought it might land on the disgusting little gremlin next to me, but then it stopped pointing straight. At. Me.
"Thank you God/Satan/whoever," I prayed silently.
I could see the redness on Kevin's cheeks from across the room.
For a moment nobody moved, and then Jason shook his head. "Nah, you gotta reroll."
I could have strangled him. "Says who?" I asked, a little too loud.
Jason laughed uncomfortably. "Come on. That's not fair. You can't ask a guy like Kev to suck face with another dude."
"Those two did it," I said, pointing at the (temporary) lesbians who'd spun the bottle before me.
"Yeah, but that's different," Kenickie chimed in. "They're like... hot."
My face was burning. This was my moment, dammit! And yet it seemed like the room was turning against me. For a second, I thought all was lost. But then Kevin got to his knees and started crawling over to me.
"Dude, what are you doing?" asked Jason.
I could feel my heart thumping as he edged his way closer to me. Suddenly he was on his knees in front of me, and everyone else in the room ceased to exist.
"You ready?" he asked, his voice low and wavering.
I nodded. He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. The scratch of his unshaven face brushed against my skin as he crushed his lips against mine. He tasted like bitter hops from the beer, but it turned sweet in my mouth. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment and trying to ignore the sounds of laughter and jeering that came from all around us. Finally, he broke the kiss and leaned back, looking at me like a nervous little puppy dog.