Crushing Part 3
A/N - shorter update, but I hope you like it! Please do comment your thoughts its the best motivation to write more! :) Thanks for reading, love you all x
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"Come with you. Are you serious?" Alex whispered.
Logan turned in the bed so that he was facing him, their knees overlapping and bumping. Alex looked down at them unable to meet Logan's intense gaze, and yet finding he couldn't tear himself away for long. His eyes flickered back up to his pleading expression.
"I'm serious Alex. You could live with me. I can show you what it's like in the real world, not just in this shitty little town."
"But- my job, my life..." he stammered, feeling shocked and overwhelmed by Logan's intensity.
"You can get a job at a book shop in Leeds. Maybe even better than that. Alex," Logan reached for his hands, leaning in close, "your writing is so expressive, your journal was so vivid and I could hear your voice, your imagination exploding out of it. You love books and stories. Do you like the idea of being an author?"
"I mean... of course that would be incredible but-"
"You could apply at the university, do an English course."
"Logan I don't even have my A-Levels, and my GCSE's were hardly-"
"Then just write! And we can take things to publishers and-"
"Logan stop!"
Logan fell silent, his head dropped and his eyes that had been filled with a manic excitement only moments ago sunk into their prior sad state.
"You dont want that."
"I'm not saying that. I just, need you to slow down for a second."
Alex took a deep breath, and he looked at Logan. He took in his dejected posture, his face still pink from tears, his black eye, almost concealing one of those beautiful blue irises. So lost. Scared even. It was such an unfamiliar sight that it unnerved him. Where was the cocky, arrogant and charismatic boy he had always fawned after? The one who made him melt with a grin despite his best efforts? Sat here was a completely different person. As he got to know all of Logan's issues and pain, it only made him love him all the more. The beauty in the imperfections. His heart ached with longing to comfort him, to make things better. He understood what pain he felt, this he was familiar with. Logan was just as broken as he was.
He reached forward and stroked Logan's cheek, then up to his hair, brushing it from his face. Logan closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the touch, wincing only slightly when he traced too close to his injuries. Then he reopened them, his gaze fixed on him, expectant and unwavering.
"I'm not ready to move in with you," he said and Logan nodded, beginning to speak but Alex continued over him.
"But I could come stay with you for a while. If you wanted that? I've got some holiday time banked up that I could use and then we could-"
Logan stopped him midtrack with something that was a cross between a kiss and a tackle. He fell back against the cushion and laughed.
"Yes, yes I want that," Logan said in between kisses.
"Um, ow," he complained but he grinned. Logan smiled, and kissed him again, gently this time, passionately. He could feel the rough scratch of his healing lip, the tickle of hairs on his chin that were overdue a shave.
"I've been waiting for the first time to say this... I love you Alex," he whispered.
Alex let out a laugh that made Logan frown.
"I'm sorry.. its just not the first time you've said it."
"What?" Logan's frown deepened and then suddenly his face filled with realisation. "Oh....ohh" he groaned. "That's so shit."
Alex shrugged, "I kinda liked it, felt... natural. And for the record, I love you too. I always have you moron."
Logan grinned, and he leaned in to kiss him, his body pressing against him, their legs beginning to entangle and Alex knew he wasn't leaving this bed anytime soon.
*
Logan had terrible mood swings over the next few days. Alex could barely keep up with him. One moment he was happy and laughing, often attentive and horny, the next he would be moody and quiet, or even worse he would shut down or even cry. He tried his best to be understanding and supportive, even if he felt frustrated when Logan would snap at him, grovel an apology and repeat. But he understood the mental turmoil running through his brain.
As far as they knew his Dad did not know yet, and he had been hiding at Alex's out of fear of facing him. The gossip had spread across social media like wildfire, someone even uploading a video of the fight to YouTube, which got almost 4,000 views before it was taken down. Logan's mum had been ringing him several times a day, leaving worried voicemails and texts to which he would just reply that he was fine and he would see her soon.
"Why don't we go together to talk to them?" Alex had suggested and the look Logan had given him would have once terrified him.
"Absolutely no way."
"But maybe your dad will keep it cool if I'm there?" He suggested.
"Yeah? And what if he doesn't? What then? I'm not letting you go anywhere near him when he might think... No."
He scrubbed harder at the pan he was washing in the sink, Alex watching from where he was perched on the kitchen surface.
"Ok. Then let's ask your Mum to come here? Ooor a coffee shop?" He added hastily when Logan gave him a look.
He looked back down at the pan, scrubbing quietly. Alex took his silence as a good sign and waited, watching his scowl gradually relax. He placed the last dish on the draining board and braced his hands against the sink, looking at Alex reluctantly.
"I guess that could work," he muttered, and Alex smiled.
"You should do it. Today."
"Today?! What? Why?"
"Because your mum is worried about you Logan!" Alex said exasperated.
"She's not actually worried," he grumbled.
"How do you know that?"
"She didn't exactly step in when Dad used to... well you know."
Alex didn't know. Logan hadn't gone into anymore detail about what his father had done bar what he had said the first night. But he wasn't going to push it out of him and Logan didn't seem ready to say any more.
"Ok, well she's been calling you non stop. Wouldn't it be good to get it sorted? You were saying this morning that you have no plans today?"
Logan groaned, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist where he sat. In this position Logan had to look up at him. Alex took in his face, his swelling had almost entirely gone, but the bruises were a yellow hue and the cut on his nose would likely become a scar. And yet through it all, the twinkling blue eyes shone through, like the undulating ocean catching rays from the sun. He felt that dizzy lightheaded feeling that made his stomach tighten and his toes tingle. Only Logan could make him feel like that.
"Why do you have to be right all the time, it's annoying," Logan teased and grinned.
