After the other night with his wife I wasn't sure whether I expected Jack to show up at the bar or not. But there he was, just like he was every Thursday after the closing bell on Wall Street. And there I was too. Sitting at the bar, in my usual spot, nursing my drink and saving him a seat next to me.
He sat down just as he always did.
"Marc," he asked with mock bravado patting me on the back, "How's it going man?"
"Fine," I said, grinning, "Now that you're here I have someone to talk to."
He looked at me and smiled back, and then turned to order a beer.
Once the bartender had set a bottle down on the counter, Jack turned back to me again. He had that stupid grin, the one that I found so attractive. I stared at his face carefully. He took a swig of his newly arrived beer.
Here we were, just a couple of guys.
"How's Debbie?" I asked casually.
"Still recovering," he replied, his smile disappearing.
His face took on a very serious countenance as he began to stumble over his words, trying to get his feelings out.
"Man, I appreciate what you did," he said, struggling to get out the words, "...it was...I...I really enjoyed it."
I went back to my Scotch for a minute. Took a sip of the liquid, and let it evaporate on my tongue, filling my throat with its warmth.
"Jack," I started, "Getting to fuck your wife was a reward in itself. She's a fine looking woman. More than fine actually. She's quality. Any able man would have been honored for the opportunity to fuck her."
"You think I don't know that?" he said, for the first time with a hint of tension in his voice.
"No offense intended, man," I told him, not wanting to upset him.
"I know that," he muttered.
"So what is it then, Jack?" I asked him, "What's the matter? Every Thursday you come here, sit next to me and shoot the shit. Then out of the blue one day you ask me to fuck your wife. And before you say anything Jack, I've fucked other men's wives before. I've watched them fuck their wives and they've watched me do it. A lot of the times we do it together. It's fucking hot man. But there's something different about you Jack."
There was a very pregnant pause as he composed himself.
"Why did you kiss me that night, Marc?" he asked, in that vulnerable tone he'd used the other evening.
"You looked like you needed it I guess."
He turned his attention back to his beer to think.
"I did need it," he said finally, not caring who overheard him, "I do need it. Would you do it again?"
"Jack," I said suddenly, not sure why, "I'm not queer."
"Neither am I," he replied, "Or at least I'd don't think so. But don't give me a load of crap. Straight men don't kiss other men like that. Fuck, straight men don't kiss other men period."
I looked at him carefully.
"Plus," he added, "Straight guys don't look at me the way you look at me."
I raised my eyebrow slightly, inquisitively, encouraging him to go on.
"I like it Marc. It makes me feel...different. Good."
I looked deep into his eyes and I said, "Jack, I want to fuck you too."
There it was said, done. The whole business was out in the open now.
"But I thought you weren't queer?" he said, with a bit of a grin now.
"I'm not queer," I said, breaking eye contact with him for a minute, "I'm not some closeted homosexual. But that doesn't mean I don't find you attractive."
"So you're bi then?" he asked, in a tone that I assumed was meant to be rhetorical.
I answered the question anyway, in my own vague fashion, "It happens, but very rarely. I haven't felt like this in a long time."
We both paused to think about that, taking a sip of our drinks.
"So..." I said finally.
"So..." came his response.
It seemed obvious he didn't know how to make the first move. I didn't either really.
"So," I started in again, pressing my point, "What do you want to do about it?"
"Debbie has a class on Thursday nights," he said, "That's why I started coming here."
I paused again to wet my mouth with another drink from my glass.
"Let's go to my place then," I said.
I didn't wait for an answer. I got up and left him sitting there. Behind me I could hear Jack get up and follow. I didn't look back, but I sensed that he was in step behind me as he followed me through the bar and out to my car like a trained dog. He opened the car door and took his place in the leather seat of the passenger side, glancing at me once or twice on the drive home, but saying nothing.
We arrived at my place, as I parked the car and we headed upstairs to the sanctuary of my apartment.
Our silence continued as we walked up the steps to my door, the only sound in the stillness of the hallway was my keys as I turned them in the lock. The door opened and I strode into my bachelor pad. My place did not have a feminine touch, but my interior designer had managed to capture a sort of simple, luxurious elegance that was much to my satisfaction.
"Just throw your stuff anywhere man," I said nonchalantly.
He'd come in after me and shut the door behind him. In taking my own advice I took off my suit jacket and pulled off my silk tie. Jack was similarly clad, having just come off work at the brokerage firm not too long before making his appearance at the bar.
"Do you want a drink, Jack?" I asked him.
"I think I'd better," he told me.
"Whiskey? Vodka? Beer?" I asked him, indicating my liquor cabinet, "What's your pleasure, I'm fully stocked."
"Uh, beer's fine," he said.
"Beer's in the fridge behind you," I said, "Help yourself."
He turned around to the kitchen area where I'd indicated and took a beer out of the fridge. My apartment was a loft like space and the dining room, living room and kitchen where really all one big open area with very little to differentiate them.
I poured myself a Scotch, and I realized watching Jack taking in his surrounding that I was really packing at that point.
I gazed at him standing there, beer in hand. I thought to myself that there were moments, they were rare, but there were moments, when I would have liked to be swept off my feet. Like a VCR on fast forward the countless number of times in my life that I'd instigated sex, too numerous to mention, ran before my eyes. I breathed a sigh. Thinking of all that work, all that follow through, every time controlling the fucking. For that moment, that one moment, I thought it might be nice for someone to take me in their arms. For that someone to do to me what I usually did to others. Someone who'd just take me any way they wanted.
I would have liked it to be Jack. But it was not to be. The moment passed.
Jack stood there so shyly, waiting for me. So I didn't disappoint him. I walked over to him and set my drink down, took his head in my hands like I'd done the other night and kissed him soundly on the lips.
I kissed him and then I was going to fuck him.
We groped like school kids trying to pull off our clothes. I ran my hands over his chest, his back. He in turn felt my six-pack, my ass, held my powerful biceps in his hands, bracing himself from my relentless tongue-lashing.
Then we both lost our minds for a little while.
As Jack's passion built, so did his courage. As I made love to him there in the middle of my living room on my couch, he began to make love back to me. He began to strive for dominance, enjoying this moment.