School was exceedingly dull the following week. I struggled to get through math and English on Monday more than you could possibly know. Tuesday was much the same, with engineering, geography and chemistry slamming me over the head. By the time Wednesday came around, I seriously considered not even going to school. What was the point anyway? I had been eighteen for months now and could probably get a job with my dad in the steel-works. Still, the idea of actually going to my parents and telling them that I had dropped out two terms before completing my final year of school was not a pleasant one. So, grudgingly, I made my way towards the bus stop on a dreary, Wednesday morning.
When I had reached the bus station, I threw myself onto the bench shivered slightly, wishing that I didn't have physical education today. Trying not to think about how cold I was going to be once I left the comfort of my school trousers and changed into my PE shorts later, I turned to gaze up the street to my right. At the end of the street sat a weatherboard house with peeling paintwork and unkempt gardens. Looking up, I tried to see into the top-left window. No light was visible from within and the curtains remained drawn. I sighed heavily, wondering where on earth Corey Matheson might be. After all, he had stayed with me for weeks for the simple fact that he had nowhere else to go. Where would he stay if not at my house? He had no other friends of family that I knew of. I had not seen him for weeks. Corey had stopped going to school and I had stopped attending footy. I could only assume that he was working at the car dealership. At least, I hoped he was. I hung my head, staring down at my knees. My stomach lurched unpleasantly as I glanced at the bench I was sitting on between my legs. What if he was sleeping on a park bench?
I exhaled a long, drawn out breath. If he were, then it was all my fault. I couldn't believe what had happened. I had been over the scenario a million times in my head, each time more difficult than the last. I still saw him, standing there in my room. His mattered, dark brown hair sticking up at odd places. His thin, handsome face and blue eyes always studying me. I by contrast had short, blonde hair. I would like to consider myself fit and toned, with grey eyes. Corey and I had, much to my surprise, kissed. I could still hardly comprehend that fact in my mind, yet I could not deny that it happened. Afterwards, my friends turned up so quickly that I didn't really know what to do. I let them treat Corey like a piece of shit, and throw him out of my room. After he had left, I didn't really know what to think. My friends were just talking about crap, and all I could think about was how much I wanted them to leave. When they finally left, I just sat there on my bed, looking down at the magazine Corey had found a few hours earlier. I was staring at the black haired man with a moustache on the page, sucking the dick of a blonde policeman. I stared and stared, wondering why I even had that stupid magazine. Then Corey came back and...and I don't know what happened. He was angry and I knew why. I should have understood, I should have said sorry. Instead, all I felt was a hollowness and a strange desire for Corey to leave me alone. Before I knew him, I was never confused; never unsure of myself.
'Why would you treat me differently? Because I'm gay? Because I'm a faggot? Noah, you're a faggot too!'
Next thing I knew, I was on my feet and Corey was pinned to the wall.
'I am not gay!'
As I stood for the approaching bus, my heart felt as if it were made of lead. I couldn't believe what I had done; that I had thrown out my best friend in the world. My body shivered violently as a sudden gust of wind passed through me. Just before the bus pulled up, I had to ensure that my face was fixed and my eyes dry once more.
***
The grass was damp as we made our way up towards the oval. Just as I anticipated earlier, I was freezing in my terse PE shorts. My bare legs and thighs were an easy target for the increasingly icy breeze. I hoped bitterly that we would be doing something that involved a lot of running and contact. My friends were just ahead of me, making me the last person in a line of thirty or so guys following Mr Baxter. Nathan, with his red hair and bony arms and legs was laughing seedily about something. On his right was Nick, perhaps the most attractive of all of my friends. His sporty figure, strong face and dark skin made him irresistible to most girls. Nick was further, the warmest and probably most likable of all my friends. Ben was just as attractive and just as popular, with his long, blonde hair and toned figure. Despite this, he was perhaps crueller than all of my friends however. As a result, I wasn't very fond of Ben at all. Jarrod was last, his fat arse protruding from his shorts. Just looking at him filled me with disgust. Not just because of his weight, though that was a part of it. I never really liked him that much either. He was always obscenely mean to people for no reason and I often wondered how someone who boasted no recognisably exceptional traits could treat people with such contempt.
It was as if someone had kicked me over the head in footy. A rush of realisation filled me so suddenly, I actually stopped in my tracks and watch the four guys in front of me continue on their way. I looked at the back of them all again. I despised Nathan's meanness, Ben actually made my blood boil and Jarrod made me almost sick with loathing. The only one out of the four boys I actually liked was Nick. I always knew that they were all idiots, but it never occurred to me just how despicable the bunch was. I had a strong desire to run back towards the school for a moment. This was quelled however, by a shrill ringing in my ear.
'Noah, how are you?'
