Introduction:
My life, my entire life was right in front of me. So vivid and so real, I swear I could see it pass like a film reel. The parents who ignored me half my life. My sexuality being vastly different from the others guys at school. The relationship which had brought me more happiness and more pain then I could ever have imagined possible.
Why did everything have to be so hard?
I began shiviering; something which the hot water covering my naked body certainly didn't attribute to.
How was I supposed to love when no one had ever shown me what it was like to be loved?
My head collapsed into my knees.
He had shown me love though.
Tears fell heavily from my eyes, mixing with the shower water.
Why?
Chapter 1;
A New Year
As a new year of school began, I can say with a fair bit of honesty that I didn't want to go back. It's not as if I hated the school itself, it's just that it seemed like a lot of effort getting up at seven in the morning, eating breakfast, walking to school and then dealing with the people once I got there. I had been doing it for 13 years and even though this would be my last year of high school, I still wasn't overly excited.
I guess the main reason though is because, I wasn't all that popular. I mean sure, I didn't get bashed or anything but I didn't exactly have any friends either. I guess it's because I just wasn't very talkative, and I cared a bit about my school work. This alone earned me the label of 'nerd', but I wore it with a bit of silent pride. It didn't worry me that I went to the library a fair bit and poured over books of various kinds. Ancient fables, stories of war and aggression, stories depicting the upbringing of empires and there downfall. It kept me enthralled, and I suppose it took my mind off the other minor social concerns I had.
There was nothing I could do to get out of school however so, along with everyone else, I got up early and sighed at the prospect of the year to come.
I was opening my locker as the first warning bell rang to tell students they should make their way to class, and spent a little bit of time placing my books where they belonged. When I closed the locker, I realised that I'd spent a little bit too long organising; the halls were nearly deserted! Rushing a little towards my classroom, I was so preoccupied at the idea of being late, that I had no warning before something large bumped into me and sent me flying to the ground.
There was brief laughter as I, being both confused and disorientated, attempted to sit up. And then someone shouted close by making me flinch, 'Get back here! I'm not chasing you!'
Looking up, I found out just who had run into me. It was a boy around my age. He held dirty blonde hair which passed down to just above his shoulders; his build was slender yet very well-toned, as if he spent most of his time playing some sort of sport, and (my heart fluttered a little at looking at them), handsome green eyes.
There was a moment of silence before the boy smiled and spoke again, 'Sorry about that dude, are you okay?'
'Er yeh, yeh I'm fine.' I answer, my face reddening a little as he extended his hand to help me to my feat. I accepted, feeling the warmth radiating from both his fingertips and his smile in a way I'd never felt before. It was strange, but I was almost transfigured by this guy.
'My mate ran into me and then ran off, I'll get him back but.' The boy laughed, letting go of my hand and indicating what was in his other, 'It was a bad catch.'
My eyes fell to the rugby ball resting against his side. I was right indeed to think that he played sports.
Finally, I get my act together and decide to ask him a question; one that was burning on my mind because I don't remember this guy at all, 'Are you new here?'
'Yep,' he answered, 'me and my friend both transferred because our school didn't really have a good footy program going, this schools better anyway, its huge!'