"Hey little one, it's OK, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
His voice was soft and reassuring as his hand came up to caress my face. I settled next to him on my bed and let my eyes wonder over his body, he looked so sexy lying there next to me. My hands reached out at the same moment Joel reached out to touch me. His touch was so light it made my skin tingle. And then it happened, it was like something over took me, a raw passion building deep inside me, an animal instinct that I couldn't control, a desperate need to be taken, to be needed. My body arched and I pulled Joel down so our bodies pressed hard together.
"I can't stop this."
My words were ground out as I pushed my body shamelessly into his.
"Then don't try."
His reply was only just audible as his lips crushed down on mine. My hands clawed at my clothes, I needed to feel his body pressed close to mine. I tried to ignore the pangs in my chest that were telling me to put my clothes back on to hide my self from his gorgeous eyes. I relaxed as much as possible, but whenever Joel would make a move down my body I would tense and pull him back up to kiss him. He soon realised what I was doing and stopped trying anything that he thought I would object to. I really appreciated that and once I knew he wouldn't try anything I started to really come out of my shell.
I moved over his body, letting my fingers trail down his chest, my tongue quickly following. His taste made me shiver as I sucked his nipple into my mouth but suddenly I was on my back, with Joel's hot desire filled eyes burning deep into mine. I whimpered as he teased his tongue down over my torso dipping slowly into my belly button.
"I want you Ryan... Please?"
I realised I loved him for asking, if I hadn't loved him before I sure as hell did after he said those words. It was all I could do to nod silently tears welling in my eyes as I looked down at him. He smiled and my vision blurred as his tongue moved down over my cock, teasing that oh so sensitive place between my balls and my ass. I shifted my weight beneath him gasping out as his tongue found my little puckered hole. Laving me slowly into a trembling mess, Joel moved his tongue inside me preparing and relaxing my body for his envision.
Soon I was writhing and moaning as Joel worked one of his fingers slowly into my ass,
"Where do you keep your lube... Ryan tell me...!"
I reached blindly to my bedside cabinet, grabbing the tube of lubricant I kept there. Joel smeared a small amount over his fingers before adding two then three fingers inside me. My body was aching to be taken by this gorgeous man who was taking his time to tease and make me squirm. I was soon gasping and practically begging him to fuck me with my little whimpering moans. Soon I couldn't take his manipulations of my body any longer; I pulled him up towards me kissing him roughly on the lips leaving us both breathless. My cock was pressed closely against his stomach and I started to find it hard to breathe as Joel started moving against me, causing me exquisite pain.
"Joel goddamnit please..."
His soft laugh reverberated against my lips as Joel guided his cock to my slick and ready ass. I tried to relax as much as possible as Joel pushed through the ring of muscle, he inched his cock slowly into my ass, moving just a little each time, letting me adjust before pushing deeper inside me. After awhile I forgot the ache and was soon moaning as Joel began to slide his hard dick inside my ass. He shifted his body to a new position and continued to stroke his cock inside me, his slick cock grazing against my prostate making my body jerk in an attempt to control my desire.
And then he did something no one has ever done, he leaned over my body, and as he slowly moved inside me he captured my face with one of his hands and gave me a soft and passionate kiss. I guess it might seem weird that no one had ever done that, I'd kissed guys of course, allot but never like that, never a kiss so tender and gentle that I could hardly breathe. As he moved inside me gasping deep into my mouth his body rubbed hard against my dripping hard-on and that was it, to say I saw stars would be an understatement, my body arched as I gripped the sheets below me. Gasping Joel's name as I felt him shudder against me, pumping his seed deep inside me.
His weight felt so good resting on my body as we both relaxed in the aftermath of our sex. I found it strange that I didn't move away into my own little world as soon as Joel had cum inside me. Instead I found my hands moving over Joel's body, caressing his back in slow hypnotic movements. We seemed to find a certain moment when we both felt a little uncomfortable and moved simultaneously onto our sides; our bodies still meshed together.
"Will you tell me about it?"
Joel asked huskily as he traced the full length of my scar, running over my hip and down onto my ass. Trembles set throughout my body as my breathing slowed but my heart continued to pound against my chest. And then it was there, that crushing pressure against my chest, the overwhelming dark thoughts of that dreaded evening. I couldn't tell him and yet I needed to, I saw it in his eyes and I felt it deep inside me. I rolled away from him slightly so I wouldn't have to see the pity in his eyes when I related my tale.
"It was my best friends birthday, a group of us went out on the town to celebrate, to say we were just out on a drinking session wouldn't really cover it, we had been drinking for hours, I was on one drink alcoholic one non alcoholic. So I wasn't too drunk when we walked into the white heart pub. I went to get the drinks in; In short I noticed some guys at the bar and started flirting with them while my friends got more and more drunk. About an hour into our stay I got a call on my mobile from a friend who was out of town, I had to take the call outside because the pub was too noisy for me to hear what he was saying. I walked out of the pub but there were people there chatting so I moved around into the side ally..."
My voice faltered, not for the first time by any means but I nearly choked as I forced myself to run through every memory and relate it to Joel.
"I turned my back to the people at the end of the ally, concentrating on my phone call. The next thing I knew was John, the guy from the pub had a knife to my throat and my mobile was thrown to the floor, his voice, which had been smooth and seductive beforehand had turned harsh and evil. He told me what a stupid little fag I was for believing I could even think about having him. How naive I was, letting me know how everyone hated gay men, how I would never find anyone to love a little queer like me. His words brought every fear and doubt I had ever had into stark realisation. The knife he held to my throat pressed against my skin until I couldn't distinguish whether the pain was just pain or whether he had cut deep into my skin.
