Something filtered into my mind, I didn't quite know what the noise was until I lifted my head from Joel's and realised that there was a class coming into the adjoining room. Then suddenly I felt Joel's hand moving down over my right ribcage, I stiffened immediately but didn't pull away, I made myself stay where I was, not moving. Every fibre in my body was feeling each movement of Joel's hand. He looked into my eyes as his hand moved under my shirt, but all he did was lay his hand softly over the top section of my scar, I let out a shuddering breath, my eyes still locked with his. And then his hand was gone, it was over and my breathing which had been coming hard and fast started to slow slightly, Joel never broke our gaze as he moved in close to kiss me.
"Do you have more classes today?" He asked roughly, as he looked into the adjoining room, which was filling with people.
"No... They have been cancelled." My voice came out as a whisper; and we both looked at each other and laughed.
"Come on then, let's get some food and go to the park." Joel whispered hoarsely against my ear.
I was grateful that he hadn't suggested we go back to his house, or mine for that matter. We picked up some food from a local cafe and headed to Queens Park, we chose a spot under a big oak tree and settled down to eat. I was nervous and was restlessly moving around until I caught Joel's eye, I smiled self-consciously but the eye contact seemed to have settled something inside me and I calmed down a little. Secretary
Its hard to believe that I was so nervous to begin with, after a few minutes we were chatting away like we had known each other for ever. I was soon relaxed and talking about my childhood and on to my college years, we both discussed telling our parents and friends about being gay and how our families had dealt with it.
We had been sitting side by side but as we talked and talked Joel pulled me towards him and I positioned my body between his legs, letting my weight rest against his chest. I felt slightly uncomfortable but Joel didn't seem to notice anything different, he continued telling me about how his best friend had hit him when he had finally got up the courage to tell him he was gay. He made me feel at ease strait away and I only jumped a little when his hands sneaked into my body, but all he did was lay them on my abdomen and leave them there. He asked me when it was the I knew I was gay,
"Well I guess I had always known, I just didn't ever want to admit that I was gay. I never had a problem with the thought of being gay but I thought I just wouldn't ever feel that way. The first time I admitted it to myself was when I was 16 and I went to a school dance with a girl called Jenny. I had been checking out this new guy in my class for the last week or so and on that night, well we got into a conversation and he kissed me, that was it. I knew I couldn't pretend to like girls anymore, I had kissed plenty of them but when I kissed Andy... Well I nearly came all over my suit!"
Joel and I both laughed and it wasn't until then I realised I had been stroking Joel's hands with the tips of my fingers while talking to him. I thought maybe I should stop, my fingers faltered in their path down his long fingers but as his warm voice flowed around us I continued to touch him. He told me about how he had never doubted he liked boys more than girls it had never been a question of deciding, making a decision or anything like that, it had always been that way.
My shirt had edged up over my stomach but surpassingly I didn't even notice, even when Joel started tracing his fingers over my abdomen and belly button I just murmured at the ticklish shivers that his touch was causing me.
I sensed something was wrong, just before I realised I had been asleep, and then I felt it, something brushing along the upper line of my scar, my body stiffened, my eyes fluttering open and assessing who was touching me. It was Joel of course, I relaxed a little but Joel had already registered my reaction.
"Its OK, I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep"
Joel's warm, reassuring voice soothed my nerves, and I tried to let my body and mind relax, Joel's fingers moved over my scar once more before linking his hands on my chest and letting them rest there. I liked the weight of his hands pressing down against my body. I don't know how I had managed to sleep with him there but I could already feel myself drifting off again.
"Mmmm Joel I'm getting sleepy again," I said slowly.
His laugh was rich with amusement as he suggested we head back to my place. I was nervous but I ignored my feelings as much as I could, or more to the point they were blocked out as my senses were assaulted by the smell, touch and the essence of Joel.
When we got back to my place I started about making us some coffee keeping myself occupied in the kitchen, trying to delay whatever it was that was clearly about to happen. I gasped when Joel crept up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist,
"Shhh, it's just me." Joel whispered reassuringly against my ear.
His voice was so soothing I relaxed into his embrace immediately. I continued to make the coffee, it was slightly more difficult now as I had Joel attached to me, not that I was complaining, he felt so right, held tight against my body like that. When the drinks were made I started to move towards the living room, felling slightly disorientated when the contact between us was broken but Joel's hands slipped down to my hips as he walked slowly behind me as we made our way to the other room. I sat in my normal position on the sofa with one leg curled under my body with my other foot resting on the floor. I realised my legs were wide open and inviting a second to late as Joel eased himself down between my legs resting his body against my chest.
Fool that I am I almost immediately got hard, blushing deeply as I thought about him feeling my cock getting hard against his ass. Why was I acting like a school girl!? I didn't get it at all, I had never acted like this before, and now here I was with the first guy I actually liked acting like a complete idiot! I soon forgot about how I was feeling though as Joel's hands moved over my legs, making me forget any thoughts or fears I once had... how was it he was having this effect on me? Why was it, it had taken me this long to find him? My hands were suddenly on Joel's back, feeling his rippled muscles under my fingers.
