I practically burst from the admin building into a crisp fall afternoon. Our college town probably looked a lot like yours. Looking out at the expanse of campus, students were milling between libraries and dorms, or headed to find lunch. The admin building opened up directly onto the main quad where some boys were playing frisbee, while other groups sat at tables and benches talking.
At least, I would have noticed all these subtleties and human beauty of a fall college campus, but my brain had been short circuited about 15 minutes ago when my college advisor had given me my first blowjob in his office. He'd swallowed my load, and now I had suddenly been passed back into the real world. It was surreal.
I felt like I had been cast in a bizarre crossover movie - you know, the kind that mashes two casts and universes together, even though nobody ever meant for it to be that way? Like Alien vs. Predator, except I had come from a normal college movie and suddenly been introduced to a high budget porno flick. But it was real: David from Grindr, Alex from the party, and now Mr. Reed.
I stood in the crisp breeze of an mid-September day and ran my fingers over my forehead and through my hair. I had to shake this off. If every sexual experience I was going to have was going to throw off my whole sense of self, I'd be failing out of college or something. I needed to get focused, get some homework done, clean my dorm room, get some lunch...
I was in the middle of a 15 point to-do list for Friday and had begun to stride across the quad when I felt two arms grab around my thighs and let out a startled gasp. Henry, gentle giant that he was, had wrapped me in a slow-motion tackle that brought me down into the damp grass. That night, my very last thought would be about how it was even physically possible to tackle someone from the side that gently. Henry may very well have been a wizard, after all.
"Dude, you tryna' ghost me? 'Cause I'll bring your ass down any day." Henry had hopped right back to his feet and offered me a hand. Looking up at him, I took the opportunity for another mental snapshot. Henry's toned legs led into black, slim gym shorts and a nice short sleeved henley. He looked so quintessentially college boy-next-door, and the afternoon sun framed perfectly behind him. He offered his hand to help me up, and I took it.
"Oh - I'm - Yeah, sorry, I was meeting with my advisor and it ran long." I explained, flustered from the tackle, the blowjob, Henry's presence, and being completely starving. I think I had finally reached peak fluster actually.
We walked through the quad towards the cafeteria, where it seems lunch plans had materialized. Earlier, we'd texted about the girl from the Night at Pine Drive, but now we walked and awkwardly recapped the events of the night together. Me, doing everything I could to drive the conversation away from the conclusion of the night, and Henry clearly pushing forward.
For the first time, I devoted a little mental energy myself to processing Alex. I hadn't thought much about him other than the embarrassment of the end, but I saw his face so clearly in my mind. Yes, me and Alex had unfinished business - but I had no way of finding him. In modern day America, I had a feeling there would be more than 1 or 2 Alex's at school.
Finally, I had to give into Henry and quit dancing around the end of the night which hovered between us. But I certainly wasn't going to go down without a fight.
"I wondered something, about someone at the party." I said. I pictured myself with an angel and a devil on each shoulder, except in this case, the devil was shy and nervous Connor, and the angel was legal representation for my cock.
The devil was saying: Dude, forget about Alex and just avoid this topic forever with Henry because otherwise he'll probably get creeped out at your gay party antics. The angel said: You're an idiot and if Henry thinks you're not entitled to giving some head at a party or you're a gay slut, then he can fuck off.
Henry silenced the stupidly mundane inner dialogue for me, thank god. "Yeah? Who?" He had graciously asked who to save me the discomfort, but the near-physical elephant in the room was clearly who.
"Uh, um, well his name was Alex - I had - well we hung out a lot, and I wondered if you knew him or anything." I spit it out and Henry split into a grin and side-eyed me as we pushed through the doors to the student center.
"Hung out? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" And Henry said it with such genuine humor that I had to laugh along with him.
"Hell if I know what they're calling it, but I didn't get his number or his last name or anything." I shrugged as we moved through the line, grabbing a sad looking slice of pizza from under a heat lamp.
"Weeeell, let's just say I may have a lead or two that might know him. I'll keep you posted." Henry thumped me on the back and I let out a long exhale. Our friendship had clearly survived him watching me leave a bathroom with another dude, and when I really think about it, that wasn't surprising at all. It was over and we could shove the awkward memory out of our lives forever.
Just kidding. Henry spent all of lunch quizzing me about my encounter with Alex. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to wash the pink back out of my face. Talking about sex was needlessly hard for me.
"So, what'd you guys do in there? I mean, it was a small bathroom so it can't imagine much, but I've seen some pretty crazy positions..." Henry sat across from me in a booth made for 6 people, but only seating us. Henry would always do that, take the best table even if it was just us.
"Barely anything happened. Don't worry about it." I shook my head and took a bite out of my pizza.
"But you used protection, right? Or are you pregnant? Or do you not do it "that" way?" He pressed on, laughing.
"As far as I know, I'm not pregnant but I'll keep you updated on the test results. You could be the godfather." I joked back, physically willing myself to loosen up. Remember Mr. Reed?
"Wait, so you really do it that way?" Henry grinned as if he had discovered some great secret.
"What? No, I was just kidding. We didn't do anything like that." I corrected.
"But, are you a twink or a bottom?" I actually cracked up at this and it was a good thirty seconds before I could summon a response. Somewhere along the lines, Henry had clearly been sorrowfully misinformed about gay terminology.
"Well, first of all, you should brush up on your gay dictionary. Second of all, I'm not really either." This conversation was so uncomfortably open that I could barely stand it.
"Okay, but was he hung? I at least know what hung means." Henry joked, but there was a tone of seriousness there too. Visions of Alex's fantastically nice, curved, cut cock flashed in my mind. The answer was, of course, yes.
"Oh, well, he was fine." I admitted, in my first actual acknowledgement that anything other than respectable hand washing had happened in the bathroom that night.
"How was the girl you were with, anyway? What happened there?" I made my best attempt at turning the tables.
"She was fuckin' hot dude. I got her number but she was too drunk to go home with anyone. Worst blue balls of my life." He excitedly explained. I thought for a second on this statement which one, meant that Henry was a "good" guy who didn't take advantage which I respected a lot and two, made my cock instantly hard. The thought of Henry leaving a party unsatisfied struck me as pretty fucking hot. I thought I'd like to have taken care of him for a second - and then banished that thought into the graveyard I had made a habit of sending sexualized Henry thoughts to. He was my best friend.
"From the look of it, you were in the same place last night, am I right?" He added, knowingly.
"Well, a bit. Survivable, and definitely not the worst of my life." I joked back. I felt like we were now back into the less awkward zone of locker room talk.
"Dude, I rubbed one out this morning and it was huge. Like a gallon, at least. At least!" He joked again, and my cock throbbed at this intimate knowledge of Henry's morning routine.
"Henry, you're one crazy kid. Crazy." I put an end to it there, with a mental note to remember the conversation. I mean, it was decent jerk off material at least.