Conflicted First Time Coc Sucer

For three days I had avoided him and told myself that I was such an idiot to let myself get talked into sucking his cock; that was how I felt most of the time, although there were other times I found myself getting turned on when I thought about his hard cock in my mouth. Still, I kept telling myself that I wasn't turned on by his cock and I wasn't going to every do that again.

At eighteen I had established my independence from my strict – and sometimes cruel father – and I wasn't going to get caught up with this older guy that was just an extension of my father. I wasn't turned on by guys and I wasn't going to get caught in such an embarrassing position again; on my knees sucking a guy's cock.

As I said before, I had avoided him for three days – mostly by staying in my apartment – but I had to go out to the store and Barbara wanted me to come over; with Barbara it was always sex, so this was my chance to prove to myself that it was a onetime thing -- sucking cock – and get back to having sex with a girl.

I was walking across the parking lot trying not to look at his apartment – if he didn't see me, I wouldn't have to deal with him – and just wanted to get to my car and get out of here for awhile. No such luck. I was almost to my car when I heard his apartment door open (ignored him and get out of here).

"Where you've been hiding?" He called out as I got to my car.

"I..hav..haven't..." I started to say.

"Ah it's OK," he cut me off, "come over here so I can get a look at you."

He was wearing a white terrycloth robe that was tied at his waist and I imagined that he was naked underneath it. I hesitated at my car with the keys in my hand (just open the fucking door, start the car and get the fuck out of here). He smiled (an evil smile) and motioned me with his hand to come over.

"Come on," he said again, "just want to see how you're doing. I won't keep you long."

(Yeah, just long enough to suck him off; get the fuck out of here)

"Well, I really...really...I need to...get going." I couldn't believe how nervous and intimidated I felt; I couldn't even look at him.

"Yeah, you've said, but I already told you that I won't keep you long." It was just like my dad talking to me and I always did what my dad said.

"O...OK." Was all I could manage as I started walking over to where he was standing in the doorway of his apartment.

(What the fuck...why don't I get the hell out of here) he smiled as I approached him and stepped aside and motioned me to come inside his apartment (don't you dare go inside) and I walked into his front room; the same front room I'd been in three days ago.

"Take off your coat and sit for a minute." He said walking past me, "I'll be right back." And he walks down the hallway toward his bedroom.

(Don't you sit down...get the fuck out of here) and I did as he asked and sat on the couch. He was down there doing something (getting naked?) and I could feel my heart beating and I was breathing hard in anticipation. Then he was back in the front room, but he wasn't naked; he was still wearing his robe (maybe he does just want to talk). He came over and sat in the Easy Chair that was right to the left of where I sat on the couch.

"So, we haven't talked since the other day." He was looking at me as he talked.

"Yeah, I've been...I mean, I meant to see how...or to talk to you..." I couldn't talk or think straight with him watching me like this.

"Hey, it's not that big a deal," he started (not to you, you're the one that got off in my mouth), "it was just one of those things.

"Yeah." Was all I could manage.

"Have you thought about it?" I knew he was trying to see if I was willingly to suck him off again.

"No...no...not really." I found myself looking down as I talked.

"Well," he started, "I've thought about it a lot as you can see."

I looked over at him and he had opened his robe exposing his long, fat and again hard dick (oh man, I knew this was coming). He laughed when he saw my nervous look and then looked down at his dick and started to stroke his erection. We sat there in silence as he stroked himself and looked at me watching him stroke himself and then back at his dick as he stroked.

Then without saying anything he stood up (get out now) and let his robe fall to the floor (he's completely naked again...I can't do this again) and walked across the room to where I sat on the couch and stood in front of me letting his dick point toward my face (It curves up a little too).

"Come on," his breath was heavy, "you know you want it, so don't fight the feeling."

"Please...," I couldn't believe that my own breath was heavy as I spoke, "I don't want to...I really don't...I...really don't."

"You know, it's hard to believe that the other day was your first time." He said as he reached out and started to slowly rub his dick, "Come on baby, and make me cum hard again."

"I don't ... I don't think...I can do it again." I was looking up into his face and trying not to look at his hard throbbing dick, "Please don't make ... me." My breathing was heavy and I could feel my own dick getting hard and wished I had left when I had the chance.

He reached out with his left hand – still stroking his dick with his right – and gently brushed his hand across my cheek and down across my lips and I opened my mouth and let his finger slowly slide in as I sucked on it.

"Like that baby, like that," I looked up as he spoke – still sucking his finger – and his eyes were closed with his head tossed back, "just like that, you are so good at sucking cock and I need you to suck me off so bad"

"um...," that was all I could manage as he pulled his finger out of my mouth.

"You going to suck me baby?" He was looking into my eyes and he released his dick and let it dangle in front of me.

"I don't know." I was staring at his dick (tell him to fuck off)

He didn't leave from where he was standing in front of me and I could see precum dribbling out of his dickhead and I couldn't believe how much I didn't want this, but oh some part of me did want it (don't you even thing about it) and I reached out and stroked his dick; he closed his eyes again and let out a long sigh (you're stroking his fucking cock again).

He pushed his hips forward and took a step toward me and his cock was now less than an inch from my lips (don't open your mouth) I stuck out my tongue and licked the tip of his dickhead and tasted his precum (Don't do this again).

"Oh baby, don't tease me," he breathed hard as he spoke, "just open your sweet cock sucking mouth."

He reached out with both hands and grabbed my head and pulled me toward his cock. At first I resisted and pulled back, but he was stronger and pulled me to his dick until his dickhead pressed against my lips.

"Baby...ahh...come on baby...just...open...your mouth." He held my lips against his dick.

(Don't you open your mouth) and I opened my mouth and his cockhead slid in.

Like the last time, I could feel my jaw straining to open wide enough to take his cockhead all the way into my mouth. I heard him moaning as more of his dick slid in and I was trying so hard to focus and not choke or gag as his dick pushed down into my mouth.

"That's it baby," he pulled me into his dick as he spoke, "don't fight it, just swallow it...oh yeah baby, take my dick into that sweet, sweet mouth."

I couldn't believe how turned on I was. I really didn't want to like sucking his cock, but there was something that was so intoxicating as he pushed his hips forward and pulled my head toward him at the same time. His dick filled my mouth so much that I was breathing hard out of my nose and still he pushed more of his cock into my mouth as I slid off of the couch to my knees in front of him.

"That's it baby...ohh...ahhh...get into it." I was looking at him but his eyes were closed as he was enjoying my mouth.

(You idiot, you're sucking this old fucker off again...you didn't even protest and now your mouth is full of his dick) I could feel his dick pushing to the back of my throat as I breathed heavier and heavier out of my nose. (Fuck, don't gag) I placed my right hand on his hip to steady myself and with my left I grabbed his ass cheek and pulled him toward me – I could feel the tip of his fat meat pushing hard into my throat – I relaxed my throat as much as I could and could feel his cock slide down.

"Oh...yeah baby, yeah...deep throat that cock." His breath was so heavy as he spoke.

My face was buried into his bush as he held me tight against him and shoved his hips forward fucking my throat as he had the first time I sucked him off (forgot about this shit didn't you) and I could feel him inching down my throat with each thrust of his hips.

"Uhg..uhg...ugh...ugh..." was all I could manage as he fucked his cock into my throat.

"That's...it...suck me...baby...suck me...hard..." his words broke each time he shoved his dick into me, "yeah baby...you...thinking of my...cum...in...you're...mouth."

(He's going to cum in me again...fuck, I don't know if I can do this...why the hell didn't I leave when I had the chance) I knew I'd have to eat his cum and put the thought of it to the back of my mind; it'll be what it will be, but man his dick...oh his dick.

I couldn't take anymore of his cock down my throat and pushed against his legs with both hands. He released his gripped on my head and he pulled his dick till just his head was in my mouth – I thought he was going to pull all the way out and I grabbed his ass cheeks with both hands and pulled him back to me. He thrust back into my mouth and then out until he got a mouth fucking rhythm going in and out of my mouth.

Then he got faster fucking my mouth in and out with such force and I could hear his breath coming in short bursts as he was pushing and ramming his dick into my throat and again holding my face buried into his bush as he tried again to force more of his dick into my throat. He is grunting again and his breathing is hard and fast. He pulls back out, but not because I'm choking and lets me suck hard on his head. I'm licking and running my tongue all over his dickhead, and he grabs my head hard with both hands and starts ramming his cock in my mouth again harder and harder and I can hear his breath coming faster and faster and then he pulls back out of until just the tip is again in my mouth. I run my tongue around that fat tip – pressing my tongue up into the pee slit – sucking his dickhead hard.

I knew he was going to cum before he pumped it into my mouth, because I had one hand rubbing his balls and the other was stroking his dick. His balls tensed just before his cum flowed out of his dick and his cock jerked as it started to flow into my mouth; the first load ran across my tongue and I swallowed it as I sucked his dick harder. He pumped another load into me (you're eating his goddamn cum) and I heard him moan as his whole body jerked.

I opened my mouth – still jerking his cock and rubbing his balls as I got up more on my knees in front of him – I pulled his dick out of my mouth and jacked him off as his cum shot out across my lips and onto my cheek. I ran my tongue over his dickhead with my mouth open and his cum shot up into the air; some went into my mouth and some was dripping down my chin as I continued to stroke his cock.

Then I closed my mouth on that hard, fat and still stiff cock and put my hands on his hips and sucked up and down on his still cumming cock. Cum was filling my mouth and I couldn't understand why this had scared me so much; I wanted him to keep cumming in my mouth. He just stood there as I sucked his cock up and down. I swallowed as much cum as I could, but a lot spilled out of my mouth and down my chin; but I didn't stop sucking as I milked his cock dry.

There wasn't any more cum shooting out – a little cum dribbled out of his pee slit and I sucked it out – and then he jerked as his dick became sensitive to my sucking and he pulled his dick out of my mouth. I still had my hands on his hips as he pulled out and I tried to grab his cock; he stepped back and I fell to my hands and knees – coughing a little on the cum I'd swallowed – and licked the cum on my lips and hungrily looked up at him.

"Fuck...that was the best goddamn cock sucking I've ever had." He was breathing heavy as he spoke, "This is only your second time, right?"

I shook my head yes as I got back to my knees and then rested against the couch – wiping some cum from my chin and licking it off of my fingers – as he stood there watching me.

"I knew you liked it," he grabbed his robe from the floor as he spoke, "and I've got a friend that I want you to meet." He put on his robe, "Actually, I have a couple of friends."

"What if they don't like me?" I asked.

"Oh...they are going to like you fine." He sat back into the easy chair. "What do you say we call them?"

(Oh my god, I've sucked his cock again and now he wants me to do his friends) It was back – the dread and regret for having done this again – and I stood up and backed toward the door. I could see that look on his face (he thinks he's got control of you) had turned to confusion.

"Hey, where you going?" He swiveled his chair in my direction, "Let's make it a day, OK? I'll get some beer, and call up a few friends...and..." I cut him off.

"I'm sorry...I really...am...sorry." My hand was turning the handle on his front door as I spoke.

"Wait...it's ok...nothing," he stood up as he spoke, "bad is going to happen...just stay for a minute and talk to me."

"I can't..." I had the door open, "I'm sorry...I can't do this anymore."

It wasn't walking fast, no, it was running to my car; the key fell out of my hand as I tried to put it in the door lock. He was saying something from the doorway of his apartment, but I couldn't make it out as I bent down and grabbed the keys from the ground. The key wouldn't go in the lock at first and then it was sliding in (don't look at him, just open the door and get the fuck out of here. You know, like you should have done the first time?) and the key turned in the lock.

"Hey...did you hear what I said?" I opened the car door as he spoke.

"No." I said getting into my car.

"I said," there was a look in his eyes that terrified me as he spoke – my father got the same look when he was angry, "if you leave like this, then the next time won't be as..."

I'd shut the door and started the engine and couldn't make out exactly what he said, but I think he said "gentle." The next time won't be gentle because he's pissed at me? Fuck him, there's not going to be a next time, and out of anger on my part, I flipped him off as I backed out and drove away. Then I noticed my hands were shaking. Yes, they were shaking in anticipation of the next time.