I didn't think I'd ever understand why anyone would chose to kill them selves. To me every day was a struggle to stay alive and I worked damn hard to be able to live! For a moment I wondered if I would ever get to the point in my life where I would give up.
I picked up one of her blankets and folded it gently in my arms. I guess I was kind of annoyed that she was gone. I didn't miss her because she didn't deserve that, not after what she had done. I did feel crappy though. She was my mom after all. Anyone would have felt the same. A part of me reasoned that I should be happy she was gone. The past year she had been worse than ever. She rarely got out of bed and was always crying. It had been up to me to find food. I often went without because I couldn't find enough for both of us. She never once said thank you. Half the time I don't think she even noticed I was there.
The blanket still smelled like her. It was one of the things we had managed to keep from before. My eyes started to mist up but I rubbed them angrily until they cleared. I'd be damned if I'd shed any tears over her. Like I said, she didn't deserve it.
I put the blanket down on my bed and headed for the door. It was still midday so I had a while before the sun went down and all hell broke lose. Never the less I was careful to ease the door open slowly to make sure no one was waiting outside for me. No one was there. The streets were deserted in fact. Not a great surprise. No single went out unless they had to. Although the gangs waited until night time to come out in earnest an occasional few, always the humans of course, still took the day shift. They would cruise around the city in the hope of happening on a single stupid enough to let them selves be seen.
One time I saw a kid run into a pack of them. She couldn't have been more that sixteen. The stuff they had done to her out in the streets had scared the crap out of me. When they'd finally finished with her all was left was a bloody mess of twitching limbs. I thought I heard someone crying close by but they never showed them selves. I waited a while to see if anyone was going to help her but after a few hours I gave up. I still wonder if anyone went to her in the end. I very much doubted she was still alive.
As I stepped out of the small refuge of my home I was greeted with the eye opening sight of Birmingham city, which stared back at me in all of its grim glory. Sewage and refuge littered the streets, pouring in and out of houses where the windows were either barred or shattered. Graffiti markings covered every wall, flat and abandoned car. They each represented the various gangs that ruled the city. The rural areas of Brum had never been that pretty to begin with. Grey concrete council block flats were spread out as far as the eye could see and the only bit of green in sight came from the mould.
I fastened my coat to try and keep out some of the bitter cold as I trudged out into the rain. I hated winter with a passion so intense that I think it was a little unhealthy. The constant gray skies and bitingly cold wind pissed me off, but nearly so much as the crappy rain. Worse still was the oppressive lack of daylight. The gangs must have loved it but it meant singles like me had even less time to try and scavenge food.
I stayed to the streets I knew best, keeping in shadow whenever I could. I was always listening. The city was so quiet that a person could hear a pin drop. It was because there were so few of us singles left. Those that were still alive were breathing because they knew how to stay quiet. In my experience if you're loud you're probably going to be dead fairly soon.
There was a store a little further ahead that held all kinds of goodies. The guy that ran the place didn't exactly seem the charitable sort though. If you wanted to eat well you needed to have something worth trading. Drugs were usually the most valuable commodity, then cross's, which I new for a fact didn't do a damn thing to a gang member besides make them laugh, then guns, knifes, sexual favours, other kinds of food- the list was endless.
I walked straight past the place. I didn't have anything worth trading. Of course that wasn't entirely true, maybe there was one thing, but the guy who ran the place, a big hairy son of a bitch with a depraved attitude, well i wasn't that hungry yet and i hoped dearly that i never would be.
I walked for a little while longer until I found a flat that looked thoroughly fucked over. Nightshade, excuse me whilst I roll my eyes, gang tags were all over the place. They looked old and the place had clearly been deserted for a while. I forced my way though the broken window and moved quickly over the dust covered floor until I found the kitchen. I scrounged around in the cupboards for a while and felt a stab of triumph when I saw the canned fruit wedged into a far corner. I grabbed them and shoved them in my bag, careful to make sure no one was watching me. You can never be too paranoid.
The cans were one hell of a find and would keep me fed for a while; especially now I only had to look after my self. It amazed me that other singles didn't enter the abandoned tagged houses. It was pretty much the only way I stayed alive.
I got out of the flat as fast as I could. I was just making my way home when it hit me how quickly it was getting dark. Weird, because my watch said it was only three p.m. I looked up at the sky and felt my heart jump up in my throat. The sun was being smothered by the moon. It was solar Eclipse! Jesus fucking Mary and Joseph!
I started running, there wasn't much else I could do and for the first time in twelve years I headed into the daylight. It streamed over me, lighting me up for the world to see. Though my mind screamed at me to get back into the shadows my instincts told me to stay where I was. I heard laughter, dark and sinister. It seemed deafening in the constant quiet. I stumbled and saw a white marble hand reach out and beckon me towards the shadows. I backed away on my backside, too stupid with fear to form any coherent thoughts other than how much it was going to hurt when they killed me.
The light was almost all gone now. I couldn't make anything out. The shadow passed over me and then I was blind.
My entire body was exposed as I sat in the middle of the alley. I began to shake as my chest let out a stream of stifled breaths. At least I didn't have to think about mom anymore, or how she'd survive if I never came home.
I heard the laugher again, closer this time. Despite not being able to see anything I drew my legs up against my chest and buried my face into my arms as they rested on my knees. I was still horribly exposed but at least now I had something to hug.
Soft footsteps padded up beside me. I tried to beg for my life but I couldn't speak through my terror. I was having trouble breathing. I hoped I'd pass out. Gentle fingers traced the outline of my bowed head, running down through my hair until they clamped firmly onto the back of my neck. I realized I was taking then, babbling payers that had been forced fed to me as a child.
"Shhh," it cooed in a voice that dripped with honey. "I don't like those words. Now tell me love, what's your name?" The desire to scream was almost unbearable. I pressed my hands over my ears to try and block him out. The pressure on my neck increased painfully and I got the hint and dropped my hands. "Your name?" He repeated.
"Conner," I whimpered.
"Didn't you know there was an eclipse today Conner?"
A stupid question, if I had known- Pain lased through my neck. "No" I gasped.
"Why have you come out of your hole, Conner?"
I wondered if he intended to play with me for much longer. I knew I was beginning to break apart. "I-I was looking for food." I realized I was crying then. I tried to pull out of the painful hold on my neck. A stupid mistake. I was quite literally dragged up by the scruff on me neck. My eyes opened wide in shock and as they adjusted I began to make out the features of the thing in front of me. He was a little taller than my 5"11 and probably outweighed me by more than fifty pounds. I couldn't make out much colour but his wide eyes and shoulder length hair looked light. His mouth was slightly open as he smiled at me. I was staring almost directly at his engorged fangs."
"Jesus," I gasped. His smile grew dangerous and I remembered that he didn't like those words. I began to shake so badly that I was amazed my legs were still holding me upright. He used his free hand to trace the outline of my jaw. His fingers moved over the arteries in my throat and down to my collar bone. When his hand slipped beneath my shirt collar I felt a sudden burst of distaste that mingled strangely well with the horror I was experiencing.
My world shifted upside down and I realized I was being carried on his shoulders. I thought about struggling but quickly dismissed the idea as I was carried swiftly into a smaller alley. I had been pretty meek so far; maybe that was what was keeping me alive.
I tried to track our progress but when he turned into a ground flat and headed down a long tunnel through the cellar door I became hopelessly lost. Loud pounding music reached my ears. I heard laughter not long after that. He was taking me into the heart of one of the damned gangs!
