He fucked me, raising and lowering me on the cock in ever faster motion. That time we came closer together but not together.
I smiled at how hard we had tried that timeâhe so that he could complete his poem; me to please him.
I couldn't help it. The memory of how hard we tried amused me, even today. I now had the urge to read more of the poem. I pulled it out of the notebook. This time it didn't have to force itself on me.
Over you, around you, inside you. Still.
I ride you still as a camel relentlessly undulates across the sands,
seeking for myself your paradise,
the oasis, the fountain, the cooling waters.
Riding you, riding you, riding you.
And seeing my own oasis ahead,
I ride harder, faster,
Through the searing heat and the flowing fountain,
To my own paradiseâ
and our shared sighs.
We never did come together, no matter how hard we tried, in that year and a half. I was always too anxious and he didn't think about anyone but himself enough to discover how to hold me off. But we both did come each time.
He did finish the poem, of course. He was too good a poet not to finish it, although it could not flow down to the conclusion he had anticipated. And I didn't think the poem suffered from the march to a new ending. In fact, I found it more poignant, more human. In its own way more resilient and hopeful.
I glanced down to read the end of the poem, but the announcement came onto the speaker that we were circling for a landing in Cairo. I slid the poem back into the pages of the notebookâdeep enough so that it now wouldn't slide out; the poem was too precious to me to loseâand turned my head to the window. I had not seen Cairo for so long; I wanted to drink in as much of the city from the air as I could as we landed.
I would finish rereading the poem later, in my hotel room, as I contemplated meeting my old lover, Afram Garfeh, face-to-face again, after more than two decades.
* * * *
"My name is Adjo," he said, his hazel eyes with the long, black eyelashes lowered demurely. "The Mudarres, the teacher, Mudarres Afram said that you were to use me as you will."
I wondered if Afram had rehearsed the young man who had met me at the plane in Cairo to word it exactly that way. I knew it was likely Afram would be providing me a companion during my stayâunless he had retained enough prowess at his age to use me himselfâand there was every reason to believe that Adjo was the one chosen. Assuming so, Afram had chosen strangely, but arousingly. Adjo was so much more delicateâand as beautiful as a womanâthan the young men Afram had been sending me to mentor at Colombia. And in that difference, I was more fully aroused.
He had been standing there, a shy and calm oasis in the teeming sea of raucous humanity at the arrivals' gate, holding up a placard with my nameâmy given nameâon it. Mr. Gordon. He was dressed in a loose-fitting, billowing white dress shirt, dark trousers, and open-toed sandals, just as I had been when I started classes with Afram Garfeh at the American University in Cairo over two decades earlier.
He was dark, his features olive-brown, his hair jet black. And he was beautifulâbeyond handsome. Small of stature, willowy, the image of innocence. I wondered how innocent he really wasâor if he at least could feign innocence when he was writhing under me.
Afram had known just how to tantalize me, how to get my juices going. This was one of two approaches I had contemplated he would use. If he was still sexually activeâeven at his ageâI had thought that either one of his female students or one of the other professors attached to the symposium would meet me. By sending someone like Adjo, I believed I was being given an entirely different message.
"You know that I'll be staying at the Nile Hiltonâwell, the Nile Hotel, which used to be the Hilton," I told Adjo as my luggage was being placed in the trunk of the taxi. Afram had told me the Nile Hotel, now owned by the Ritz-Carlton chain, was no longer the best, but it was familiar to me and thus a comfort.
"My understanding is that it will be only for the night," Adjo said. "I believe the Mudarres would like you to stay with him. But he did tell me to take you to the hotel, that he will speak to you there."
I didn't know that "speak to you there" would mean that Afram himself would be waiting for me in the lobby of the hotel, but he was. On the taxi ride from the airport, Adjo had sat beside me in back and peered at me from under lowered eyebrows with a shy smile like a blushing bride, and I was looking forward to taking him right up to my room and fucking the stuffing out of him, but Afram being in the lobby threw a wrench into that forming plan. That was probably a good thing, though. I was exhausted not only from the Paris-to-Cairo flight but also from the hours I'd put in beforehand in preparing for my presentation the next day at the writing symposium.
"You must come stay with me. I'm afraid this hotel will no longer be to your standards," Afram said after we had warmly greeted each other, including with a kiss that was far from chaste. He was wearing the traditional gallibaya and sandals and nothing else that I could discern, and he was embracing me close enough for me to know that he still could get an erection. It remained to be experiencedâperhapsâif he could hold an erection or make use of it. He stood, stooped, in one place while we talked, and leaned onto a cane in each hand when he wasn't clutching me.
"I booked here," I said, "So I should at least spend one night here, although I am honored by your invitation." I didn't chance to add that he hadn't offered an invitation to stay with him before I arrived here. I might have declined the symposium invitation if he had. I had been completely under his spell at one time and I wasn't anxious to be so again. "And I am weary from the trip and the preparations for the symposium and have a paper to deliver there tomorrow, so I should go directly to bed."
"Need to start your sleep immediately?" Afram said. "I that case, I will take Adjo back with me to my house and I will see you at the symposium tomorrow morning."
He had emphasized taking Adjo back.
"Adjo couldâ"
"Adjo will be at my residence for when you decide to come to me there. I have asked him to assist you during your stay here, by the way, in all ways you may need him."
Afram couldn't be any clearer than that. First, yes, he was providing Adjo for me to fuck. But, second, it would be at his house. I had almost forgotten that Afram was as much a voyeur as he was a direct participant. In the last half year I was with him here in Cairo, he had given me to friends and to various muscle-bound younger men he met in the Greco-Roman wrestling gymnasiums. He liked to watch.
Somewhat regretfully, I said my good-byes to Afram and Adjo, checked in, went to my room, and, after a brief shower, went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. So, it was a good thing that I wasn't succumbing to Afram's plans yet anyway.
I got my crack at Adjoâand Afram, for that matterâthe next evening. The first day at the symposium wasn't a grueling oneâprobably on purpose, because so many had come in from out of Egypt. We started late in the morning and ended in time to have an extended cocktail hourâthis time at the Ramses Hilton, which was, I will admit, by far superior to the Nile Hotel in amenities, if not in location and memories. I wasn't quite in tune with the new Cairo I was finding upon my much-delayed return. During the day, Afram devoted little attention to me at allâhe was constantly the center of attention of other symposium attendeesâwhereas Adjo was at my elbow and within sight of me all day. He moved like a dancer, and I must admit that most of the day was spent suffering an erection and daydreaming about "later." In his touches and his looks at me, Adjo was signaling an anticipation of "later," as well. I was being left no reason to misunderstand his expectation of being used by me.
We returned to Afram's house on Gezirah island, in the car the university assigned Afram in respect for his position, after stopping at the nearby Nile Hotel to pick up my luggage. It was dark when we arrived, but a warm, cloudless night. We ate a dinner served to me with meaningful glances and fleeting touches by Adjo, wearing a white cotton gallibaya, in the central oasis-like atrium, which was lit by torches on the columns and underwater lights in the pool. Afram also was wearing a gallibaya, made out of a finer, silky cloth. He hadn't changed his traditional clothing ways since I had studied under him.
Two other young, handsome Egyptian men served us as well. Afram and I sat across from each other on couches. Adjo mainly served me and the other two mainly served Afram, who was free with his hands under their gallibayas while they served. When Adjo came near him, though, he was strictly hands off.
Adjo clearly was for me. Jaded as I was, that was fine with me. After our supper, when one of the young men serving Afram began to service him as well, his head under Afram's gallibaya while Afram sat facing me on his couch, Adjo came and stood demurely in front of me, sitting on my couch.
He had brought a small bowl of some sort of rice puddingâwe had already had a fruit course, He stood close in front of me and when I spread my thighs apart, he pressed in even closer. He fed me the thick pudding, with his fingers, until I couldn't hold off anymore. I took the bowl from him and set it on a small table within my reach. I then grasped his gallibaya, bunching up fists full of material at the waist on either side, and pulled it over his head.