I was in college when I finally told someone I was Bisexual. I'd just turned 19 and decided to tell my girlfriend at the time. I shouldn't have been surprised that she took it so poorly considering it wasn't exactly a healthy relationship up to that point anyway, but I was young and stupid. The ensuing argument was pretty one-sided and mostly consisted of her hurling insults and slurs my way (which I can't in good conscience repeat), and by the night was over I was a newly single man.
I probably could have found a rebound relatively quickly, after all I was a decently attractive college freshman. However the problem with looking like an average white, blonde Midwestern guy is that I was attending a school full of them, and I was feeling a little down on myself after the breakup anyway. So, the next few weeks mostly consisted of me avoiding her, and everyone else for that matter. Fortunately we had no classes together, so as long as I stayed holed up in my room it was pretty easy to avoid her. I wasn't exactly ready to be publicly out, so I was relieved that it seemed like she had decided to keep my secret. I guess she decided that it would embarrass her to tell people she'd dated a bisexual man. Whatever her reasoning, I was fine with her silence.
It wasn't long before she was dating someone else. Whoever the guy was he lived in another building so she was spending less time around, meaning I could finally start leaving my dorm whenever I wanted. This new-found freedom led me to start thinking about ways to deal with some of my more...physical needs. I'd been single for a little while now, and even when we were together my ex and I didn't exactly have a very exciting intimate life. But after that bitter break-up, I wasn't really looking for time with women, I decided it was time to test out the other side of my sexuality. It also felt like a good way to get back at her for the things she'd said to me, even if she'd never know it happened. Yes, I'm that petty.
There was only one problem with my plan. I wasn't out, and I wasn't sure how to look for someone without outing myself. So I did what any college student does when they need to research a problem and took to the internet. Finally one Friday night I found myself browsing Craigslist. Maybe not the best idea in retrospect but I was desperate. After some browsing a post stuck out to me. A guy who could host, was within walking distance, and didn't seem to be looking for anything too extreme. Thinking I wouldn't have a chance I fired off an email and was surprised to get a reply relatively quickly. He was fine with meeting up discreetly with a first timer. I made it clear that I was mostly looking for a very casual hookup and we could see where it went after we met. I also made sure to let him know I wasn't sure if I would want to be topped which he didn't mind at all. So he sent me his address and I started walking.
The walk took about 15 minutes. The whole way I was shaking from nerves, despite it being a relatively warm spring night. I couldn't stop thinking about what I was about to do, wondering if I should just back out and go home. I'd been hard as a rock basically from the second I'd left my building, which gave me the drive to keep walking. I walked past a few parties, people walking their dogs, and a few joggers. Each time I saw someone I wondered in the back of my head if they knew what my plans were. Totally irrational, but then again adrenaline doesn't really lend itself to rational thought. Before I knew it I was at the apartment complex, walking through the maze of buildings until I saw the number I was looking for, and rounded the corner.
I didn't really see anyone at first, the porch lights were off on all the units. The only light was the dull orange glow of the light poles in the parking area, until I spotted the flash of a cigarette.
"Is that him?" I thought.
A gruff "Hey..." from the porch confirmed my suspicions. There was no backing out now. As I got closer, I was greeted with the site of a tall, thick black man, he nodded to a patio chair next to him. I guess he figured if we hung out outside for a few minutes it would help calm my nerves, and he was right. We made some small talk while he finished his cigarette, both of us casually taking chances to check the other out. The more I looked at him the more excited I got for what was to come. He had a nice body, covered in a loosely fitting t-shirt. It didn't take long until my gaze made it's way down to his lap. Despite the dimly lit area, I got a very good view of a very impressive bulge in his shorts. I'm sure he saw me looking because he put out his cigarette and rested his hand on his covered dick, giving it a squeeze before asking if I wanted to head inside.
"Yes..." I croaked out and followed him inside.
It was a nice place. I took off my shoes at the door and got a quick look around as he led me back to his bedroom. I sat down on the bed and noticed his laptop was sitting there, open, paused on a porn video he was likely watching while we were setting up our rendezvous. "Wanna watch?" he asked, sitting down next to me, setting the computer down on a small table at the end of his bed. I simply nodded, too nervous to really talk. He just kind of chuckled and hit play. He leaned back next to me, one hand behind his head, the other on his thigh.