Coming of Age at 50

By the time I'd turned 50 I was becoming comfortable with the fact that I had homosexual thoughts and at least bi-sexual tendencies and or curiosity. My level of interest in same-sex activities increased as my wife's libido decreased. Unfortunately this orientation and associated behaviors was not acceptable in the eyes of my loved-ones and peers. Consequently I remain closeted to this day...

Three instances of my participation in homosexual behaviors occurred over the past five years. All of which occurred after extended absence of intimacy in my marriage.

The first time I took out a quick ad on Craigslist saying that I was bi-curious and looking for answers & guidance. Out of the many replies one stood out. He was my age, single bi-sexual and he was willing to allow me to explore my curiosity without expectations.

We met at his house. We talked for a few minutes and got to know about each other's lives (outside of the sexual aspects.) After a while he looked me in the eyes and asked me what I would like to do with regards to my sexual desires. I told him I'd never been with another man but that recently I've been wanting to experience the act of orally pleasuring a man, I wanted to know what it was like to give head, to have a cock in my mouth. The truth is (and I didn't tell him this part) I wanted to know if I could even do it and if I could would I spit or swallow?)

He stood and asked me to follow him to his bedroom. We stood facing each other at the foot of his bed and looked each other in the eye.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I reached out and began to unbutton his shirt. I peeled it back and kissed his nipples as I unbuckled his belt and lowered his pants. He kicked them the rest of the way off as I moved my face down his abs towards his waist and positioned myself on my knees before him. I slipped my fingers into the waistband of his tidy whities and slowly slid them down. When the waistband nearly reached the end of his hardening cock I moved my face to his torso and put my lips and tongue on the base of his cock. Running my tongue from his pubic bush down towards the tip, I removed his briefs entirely and engulfed the head of his cock in my mouth. It felt so hot (and I mean actual heat) in my mouth. It also felt a lot larger than I expected.

I pulled my face off and grabbed his ball sack as I moved back a bit for a better view. I stroked him gently as I examined him. Lust now ran through my veins where blood used to be. My own cock pressed hard against my slacks.

His package was smallish, maybe 6" hard and not more than an inch and a half thick. I was pleased by this, knowing that I could probably handle putting most of his meat into my mouth. He was straight and smooth with a few strong veins along the shaft and a gorgeous helmet that looked more like a warhead than a mushroom. I was very happy with this particular penis being my first.

As I stroked he produced a droplet of pre-cum and I took that as my "it's now or never" signal.

I brought my face closer. I inhaled his mild but manly scent. I grasped his balls and pulled him in as my mouth filled with his manhood. I began to suck on his cock. I smiled as I thought to myself "On my...now I'm officially a cocksucker!"

I washed his head and the underside of his peehole with my tongue. I wanted to taste more of his pre-cum. I was sucking and stroking and tugging at his balls. Still on my knees before my first gay lover, I began to taste him as my mouth filled with his now steadily flowing pre-cum. This only encouraged me to redouble my efforts. I stroked and sucked and pulled faster and stronger...I worshiped his manhood with enthusiasm and intent. I looked up into his eyes as I pleasured his wonderful cock and balls. He smiled at me, closed his eyes and slowly let his head fall back...

Minutes later, suddenly, without prior notice his body stiffened and he began to moan loudly. My mouth filled with hot liquid and I instinctively swallowed. (And swallowed, and swallowed some more!) His seed tasted somewhat salty and not exactly delicious, but not rancid or off-putting. A taste I could get used to I thought to myself as I sloshed his remainders about in my mouth.

As his orgasm subsided I eased his cock out of my mouth without spilling a drop. So many questions had been answered. I was in awe of the moment. I felt as though this moment, right now in the afterglow, I was exactly where I belonged. I was truly happy. I could taste his seed in my mouth, a taste that was still not overly pleasant, but a taste I savored just the same. It was the taste of success.

I felt a sense of accomplishment. I had achieved a goal that I'd previously considered just a fantasy.

He then lifted me onto the bed, unzipped my fly, pulled out my cock and with very few strokes sent my seed flying about the room and onto my shirt and face.

That first experience could have been a turning point in my life. I absolutely enjoyed the man to man experience. Under different circumstances I could have crossed over and declared myself gay. But I'm not. I still also like women and I still love my wife.

A number of my questions were answered that day; I am capable of making love with another man. I love the feeling of engulfing and sucking cock. I love the heat and manly aroma. I love swallowing hot spunky sperm directly from its source.

Unfortunately I never returned to that man's house and we never talked again. My bad — and I'm certain — my loss. I still had a lot to process.

My ultimate dream is to share a cock with my willing wife. If only.

I imagine it would be perfect to be able to love her the way she wants me to when she wants me, but to have another man for me to pleasure as well when she's not interested.

My two encounters since do not hold a candle to my first. Neither went very well and I've become rather particular. I occasionally meet someone and wonder if they'd be interested in me, but I lack the courage to follow up. (By the way, I do the same with women though too...)

So I'm still searching. Looking forward to the next time an opportunity presents itself and all the time secretly wishing my wife would join me in this pursuit.