At the end of that trip, we pulled up to her apartment and I walked her up to the door. Instead of going in I lingered, ready to say our goodbyes. It was awkward and sad.
Zeeta kissed me on the cheek, "I don't blame you for dumping me. It's not for everyone."
That night I slept alone - truly alone. No texting, no face-time. Nothing.
The next day we met up to drop off and pick up stuff like couples do when things end.
She invited me in for a farewell drink. So I was sitting at her kitchen table sucking on that familiar tall brown bottle of beer when she came out of the bathroom with a couple Dixie cups. By the way she was carrying it I could tell that the one was half filled and I knew what was in it. The other was empty until she poured some of my beer into it.
Pushing the two cups closer she said, "You could ponder this a bit." I feared she wanted me to drink the pee. As if that would be an example of pondering. Thankfully she said, "Just look. Don't they look a whole lot alike?"
I had to agree. The yellow hue wasn't that different. Under her watchful eye I picked up the little cup of beer and smelled it. But then I couldn't bring myself to do the same with the other cup.
She took my hand, dipping my finger in the one cup. It felt hot in comparison to the bottle. "You know," she said, "It's sterile when it's fresh. No germs at all." That did set my mind at ease a little, sitting there, soaking my finger in her pee.
She let go of my hand and I let my finger stay in the cup. What else was I to do, wipe it on my pants?
She put her finger in the cup too, touching her finger to mine lovingly. Then being careful not to drip any, she lifted her finger out and popped it in her mouth.
I'd seen her suck her finger after it was in the stream many times by now, so it seemed like no big deal. She glanced from my finger to my face and I knew what she wanted.
I'd kissed her lips a number of times now after she'd done that, and that diluted essence was no big deal either. I lifted my finger, hovering above the cup while a tiny drop fell off. Finally I brought it to my mouth plunging it in up to the second knuckle in one quick motion.
I expected it to taste gross. I can't say I know what the word pungent means, but I was sure it would taste pungent. Instead, it barely tasted different than when it was in one of her perverted kisses.
Pure unadulterated piss was in my mouth! I looked across at the innocent face of my almost dream girl - how bad could anything be that came from her?
Then I came back to reality. She'd almost sucked me in, this was sick and wrong. What would people think?
With her eyes she dared me to do it again. I ended up doing it three more times before she scooped up the cups, taking them into the bathroom. And each time I did it I felt in my gut that normal people never did this.
When she came back she sat on my lap caressing my face despite our being broken up. I could smell the reassuring soap on her hands. "You're so brave. It wasn't that bad, was it?" I shook my head, still in disbelief.
I know you've wanted my body for a long time and I've held off. But we made a deal, and if you want it before our plans tonight, rather than after, you can have it."
"How do you know I'll follow through?"
"I trust you." She was right. I would never cheat her. I did want her body. I'd been drooling over her for two months now, and now that we were no longer an item I would never know the joy except for the deal.
When we made love I wondered how I could ever live without her naked embrace. Or for that matter any of her clothed embraces either.
After wanting all of her for so long the time had come but it was melancholy nonetheless. Don't get me wrong, her body was perfect and the sex was great but it felt hollow because it wasn't going anywhere.