For the Fourth of July, Thaxter hosted a party at his house. He made clear that everyone was welcome, and he let us all bring friends. We figured Ryan and Marcos were just the right types to enjoy a gay pool party, and sure enough, they jumped at the invite. Chad and I brought a case of craft beer, while Ryan and Marcos brought homemade tamales. Some of the bar's regulars brought pretzels, chips, cupcakes, and other snacks.
We spent the first hour or so milling around the patio. Thaxter's place wasn't as fancy as Chad's, but it made for a great party space. Some of the guests were inside, watching
Jaws
, while the rest of us chatted and basked in the sun.
Jean-Jacques made quite a splash, both literally and figuratively, when he jumped in the water. He was wearing tight red Speedos, which left very little to the imagination. I knew was European and all, but even so, it was a little weird to see my customer practically naked.
"Mm," Ryan said as he watched Jean-Jacques climb back out of the pool. Ryan seemed to focus on Jean-Jacques's bulge, which swung back and forth which each step, dripping water along the way. He leaned over to Marcos. "I'd love to get some of that inside me...."
"Wait," Marcos said. "I thought we agreed it was my turn to bottom."
"Maybe we can do both," Ryan said. "We'd just need someone to service us."
Chad and I were sitting right beside them, but neither of us said a word. I couldn't tell if Ryan was hitting on us, or Jean-Jacques, or both. Jean-Jacques didn't seem to have heard him; he just made another dive, swum underwater for a moment, then came up for air.
I cleared my throat, but before I could say anything, I heard commotion nearby. It was over by the front door. From where I was sitting, I couldn't see much, but I could make out a big-haired woman.
"I know he's in there," the woman was saying. "You've got to let me in."
Thaxter's husband Bruce was running interference. "I'm sorry," he said, "who are you?"
"That's none of your business," she snapped.
Chad and I exchanged glances. I was probably less surprised than he was, since I'd seen these kinds of spectacles before. At the bar, it was not unusual to have jealous lovers show up and make trouble. It was always especially interesting when the lovers in question were girlfriends or wives.
Bruce kept trying to talk to the woman. She didn't seem to want any part of it.
"Don't tell me to quiet down!" she yelled. "I saw my child in there!"
Oh shit
, I thought. She wasn't a jealous lover at all. I'd never seen an angry mom show up like this. I was dying to know more. I tried to get a good look at her face, to see if I could recognize her, but Bruce was in the way.
"Look," Bruce was saying. "I'm not going let you bother our friends--"
"Your friends? Is that what you call them these days?"
"Ma'am--"
"I want to know how you people sleep at night. The way you're corrupting these boys--"
"You need to go."
"Don't tell me what to do!"
"You're on my property," he said. "If you don't leave, I'm calling the police."
The woman scoffed, turned on her heels, and stomped away. "You... you... you
sodomites!
"
A bunch of us burst out laughing. "Sodomites?" Ryan asked.
"Hey lady, sodomy's great!" yelled my co-worker Kyle. "Don't knock it till you've tried it!"
"Honestly," Thaxter said, "what century are we in? Does she think we're Oscar Wilde?"
Bruce shut the door and turned back to us. "Wow," he said. "I feel bad for her kids."
"Yeah, no kidding."
The twins peeked out from behind a tablecloth. "Is she gone?"
"Yes," Bruce said. "You're okay."
I hadn't realized Mason and Madison had been hiding. They climbed out from under their table. "Sorry about that."
"It's not your fault."
"Holy shit," Kyle said. "That lady's your mom?"
"She just found out about us being gay," Mason said. "She still doesn't know the half of it. But you can see she's not exactly taking it well."
"We always knew she wouldn't," Madison said.
"That's terrible," Jean-Jacques said.
"That's why we're here," Thaxter said. "I went through the same thing myself, way back when. Anything you need, just tell me."
"Thanks man." Mason reached for the cooler. "Right now we need a drink more than anything else."
The twins grabbed a pair of beers, then sat down beside us. Madison let out a loud sigh.
"If it makes you feel any better," Chad said, "my dad's a homophobe too. Except he's buddy-buddy with his lesbian sister."
"Say what?" Mason asked. "How the hell does that work?"
"Damned if I know," Chad said. "I think he's in denial about her being gay. But that's just the start of it. My family gets more fucked up from there."